Day of The Triffitt

2005-05-07T13:04:00.000+08:00

ONLY THE NAME HAS CHANGED

I've given in to public demand: I have a new blog now. I'll keep this one up as an archive, but anything new will be on the other one.

BATTBLUSH

2005-04-26T16:55:00.000+08:00

Danger Will Robinson (or: We've Gotta Get Outta This Place)

I'm an empathetic person and take other people's pain personally. Hurt inflicted upon others affects me. This has caused me to make a big decision.

Due to various bruised egos and salted wounds inflicted by blog sites and LJ's, I've decided to withdraw from personal blogging. I have a lovely diary that my beloved husband bought for me in Queensland. I'm going to record my thoughts, feelings and daily occurences in that. I will still blog reviews in IMHO. If I have something I desperately need to share at the public level I will rely upon Lee's and my own friends-only LJ. This way no one gets hurt.

Take care. Be kind.

2005-04-25T08:04:00.000+08:00

Full o' goodness

The Sunday night crew have decided to form a co-op. Our intention is that, in time, we will raise enough produce (fruit, vege, chickens) amongst ourselves in order to become somewhat self-sufficient. Battboy and I have a particularly large garden and it would be a shame not to use it. In the meantime we have resorted to buying bulk produce and sharing it around. Last night Calli came around with our first delivery. We have pumpkin, pears, beans, basil, apples, spring onions, ginger, garlic and oh how the list goes on. I went through all our goodies this morning and now I'm inspired. I want to make pumpkin soup, banana and ginger muffins, pumpkin and honey muffins (the best ever!) minestrone, salads and all sorts of other yummy things. The fruit and vege look so fresh and delicious and I can't wait to get into it.

My thoughts (and I do have them)

I've put another review up on IMHO. Check it out.

What happened????

Battbaby decided to start sleeping through at about 8 weeks. He stopped at 16 weeks when he decided to wake up once a night for feeds. The last week or so have seen this progress to the stage where he's waking up about 4 times. Battboy and I are shattered.

And...

Erin's woken up the past three nights too

I'm not a big fan of children at the moment. Between teething babies, temperamental toddlers and downright bitchy teenagers, I'm exhausted.

On the other hand

Aiden and Blake are lovely. But with Aiden rapidly approaching 13, and Blakey-boy not far behind him, I have to wonder, how much longer can it possibly last for?

Holidays

They're over. The kids have gone back to their dad's and I'm left to tidy up the havoc caused. On the whole, I think it's Cassie that causes me the most headaches. Not only did I have to pull her away from her friend's house kicking and screaming, she was rude and obnoxious when she was here. I don't know why she bothers to come at all. She walks in, criticises everything I do, and then does little to help. She picks arguments with Aiden and Lee and then yells at everyone as to how it's all their fault, and never hers.

She's gone now. The house is peaceful. And I miss her dreadfully.

Aw shucks

Battboy and I were invited to read at the KSP Open Day yesterday. After about 45 minutes sleep we pulled ourselves out of bed and headed off (chucking a quick left for a Maccas breakfast first). Fortunately we were first up, so the plan was to read a story each and then leave.

It didn't happen that way.

We read our stories, Lee first with Goodfellow and then myself with This Perfect Day. Everyone laughed at all the right places with Lee's story and there was total silence (well, apart from Erin of course) with mine. After I sat down the woman in front turned and told me how much she loved my story. We stayed put for another 15 minutes until morning tea. At that point we loaded up the pram and headed out.

We were about two steps away from the door when suddenly we were surrounded by people wanting to talk to us about our work. It was lovely. I ended up giving my printed copy of This Perfect Day to someone who wanted to read it again, because she'd enjoyed it so much and wanted to recapture the feeling. Yay! A fan.

Finally we made it out the door and arrived home for a quiet day of naps and documentaries. We decided to forgo the movie night as we just needed some personal space after the week that was.

Well, that's it for now. Take it easy and enjoy this public holiday

2005-04-23T12:11:00.000+08:00

Oh the Irony

I'm a fan of irony, those delicious little twists of fate that keep life interesting.

Here's a case in point.

I spent 14 years as a member of the Jehovah's Witness religion. I was also married for 14 years. During that time I built up a close relationship with my husband's family. I didn't celebrate birthdays, Xmas etc, but I made sure they had access to the children during this time because I realised that my beliefs weren't theirs and I respected their right to live life as they saw fit. On the whole we lived in harmony, apart from every now and then when the Triffitt family took it upon themselves to have a rant against my religious leanings. They would bring up aspects of my Witness beliefs and make me account for them. In the beginning, I did, toward the end, I couldn't be bothered. They didn't want to know why I believed such things, they just wanted to find a nice way of protesting.

In time I stopped practicing as a Witness. I also stopped being married about the same time.

I met Lee, fell in love, started my relationship with him, was disfellowshipped. Lee proposed, we married, I gained a new family.

And this is where irony steps in.

I'm a Battersby for five minutes when it starts. A member of his family starts getting narky over something Lee did (or didn't do) and immediately turns it into an attack on me and my former beliefs. Like, they want me to account for something I used to believe in.

I'm so over family politics.

And to make matters worse, this attack is really unfair because I've been doing everything in my power to bring Battboy and his family closer together. I encourage interaction between Lee and his family. Two of my children carry the Battersby name. I want us all to get along.

My head is spinning.

Priorities

Pope John Paul II is dead. Pope Benedict XVI has taken his place. I have nothing against the late Pope. He did a lot to try to restore peace to the Palestine, to further negotiations between the Arabs and the Jews. On the whole I believe his papal reign to have been a good one. Okay, he didn't condone the use of contraception, but the guy was OLD, did we really expect miracles? And besides, how many Catholics do you know who actually follow this edict? There have been many reforms since Vatican 2 and JP2 has played his part in bringing the Church out of the Dark Ages. No, they haven't reached the 21st Century, but they have at least reached the beginning of the 20th. In my own lifetime I saw my Aunty go from wearing a full habit, to 'civvies'.

So, you may ask, what does this particular section have to do with the title?

I just dropped my older three children back with their father after having a week long visit with them. I won't see them again until Friday night. The world mourns the death of a pontiff. I, once again, mourn the loss of my children.
Please don't tell me my grief means nothing. Yes I will see them again, but tonight they go to sleep in someone else's house.

My personal heartache takes priority over the rest of the world's.

How deep is your love?

I love my husband. As I stated in my vows, I love him with my whole heart, mind, body and strength. I would do anything to make and keep him happy.

We received a Traci Harding book in the mail for reviewing yesterday. We all know how much Battboy hates Phat Phantasies. Guess who took the book and added it to her reading pile?

Never doubt my love for you. I think I've more than amply proven myself now.

(PSST: I'm actually rather enjoying it, too, but don't let on :))

Have a great week.

2005-04-20T22:21:00.000+08:00

Feelin' groovy

Today I not only finished a short story, I edited it to a point of satisfaction. But then, and here's the best part, I sent it out!

There's always a sense of accomplishment in hitting that 'send' button that sees your newest creation hurtling off into cyberspace.

Now I have to find homes for Unnatural Selection and A Whisper In The House of Angels, the stories that picked up 2nd and 3rd prizes respectively at the Swancon Awards.

If the muse is rockin...

Today the two Battkids went into childcare and the Triffs were given strict instructions to entertain themselves for the day. Lee and I were in the mood and ready to go. We snuck off and gave ourselves over to absolute pleasure...
The pleasure of the written word. Lee worked on the Napoleone novel while I finished the above story.
Love like ours doesn't happen by accident.

Full of soapy goodness

Lee and I now have a routine. Dr Who for Battboy at 6pm and EastEnders for me at 6:30. I usually organise dinner and feed Connor during Lee's half hour and he answers emails and catches up on blogs during mine. Lee scorns all things soapy and those who find entertainment within them. So he says. In reality he comes back at the end of the opening credits and watches what's happening from the doorway. He knows the characters as well as I do and offers an opinion on all their storylines.

I have only one explanation for this.

The big hairy guy loves me.

That's it for now. The Battbaby is finally asleep and I want to be too. Take care

2005-04-17T15:41:00.000+08:00

Here we go, Here we go, Here we gooooo

Today I learnt something new about myself. Deep inside my sweet, lovely, kind nature, there lurks a soccer hooligan.

This morning Battboy and I took Aiden to play his first soccer game (his team won 4-2. Yay!) Now, I'd expect Lee to run along the sidelines shouting out encouragement and generally making himself heard. Not me. I'm quiet. I'm more the type to sit at the sidelines and knit scarves for the team so they don't get a chill. Or so I thought.

Truth is, I'm a soccer mum. Any time the ball looked like it might even think of heading in Aiden's direction I was up and yelling, giving advice and letting the world know how amazing my son is. I even called out 'off-side' once (thanks to my darling for patiently explaining what it meant over and over until I finally got it).

In short, I had a great time. It was fun and Aiden seemed to enjoy himself. It was a much better experience than the Tae Kwon Do he'd endured last term. We're definitely going back for more.

Tis the season...

To buy the Plastic Fantastic. I just went to another Tupperware Party. Usually I enjoy such things, but this one left me a little flat. I only spent about $50, whereas I generally buy about twice that amount. Still, my collection continues to grow.

Who's Who

To find out who's doing the business within the SF world, tune into Ben Peek's LJ. He's interviewing all sorts, including Battboy and myself.

That's all I have to say for now. Have a nice week.

2005-04-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

Thick and fast Part two
The Ben Peek files

five questions:

1) You're an editor involved with Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine and TiconderogaOnline, both different venues with different demands. About the
only thing that links them is that there is a committee involved in the
selection of fiction that appears in the work appearing in each. Some have
claimed that committee style editing ensures that only bland fiction is seen
in the world, but I figure there must be some shit flung and fought for in
those places. Give us a rundown on the committee experience, both pro and
con.

In my experience, working within a committee means working with a lot of different people with different sized egos. I'm a very non-confrontational person and prefer to keep the peace, so I tend to take the lemming approach and follow the crowd. I leave the politics to the Chiefs of the Tribe and make do with being a gatherer.
Or so I thought until ASIM 11. Once it was became my turn to sign my name to an issue, my stance changed. I read a lot of stories for that issue. A couple of them came through the slush-pool, but on the whole the stories I chose were ones that I solicited through the various groups that Lee belonged to at the time. As I found stories I liked, I had to put them into the pool to see how the other members viewed them. Not all were warmly received. One story I accepted was rejected by the group. I had to write to the author and tell him that I couldn't print his story after all. He was lovely about it and offered another story in its place. I took it and then bought the story for TicOn instead. I received a lot of flak for that issue of ASIM from the other members, yet the public loved it. I had people telling me that it was the best issue the co-op has put out to date and it seems true, after winning Best Professional Production at this year's Swancon.
TicOn is a little easier. There's only four of us reading the material and once a 'yes' is entered with either a 'maybe' or another 'yes' it's accepted. While Lee and I don't necessarily share the same tastes in reading, we both have a good eye for what works and what needs work. Lee and I work well together, have respect for each other's opinions and don't let our individual egos get in the way of the product. After all, we're only in this for the love of the genre.

On the whole, I've enjoyed my TicOn experience more than the ASIM one. I love working with Lee. Together with Russell and Liz, we've been able to put out a product that reflects our own personal taste. We like the gonzo stuff and disdain the mundanity of modern fantasy. No fluffy bunnies for us.

2) You're a relatively new name to the production side of the Australian
small press scene, but do you have a vision of the kind of work that should
be in publication that drives you to hunt and rescue, as an editor must,
from the slush pile? And, is there a kind of work that is struggling to find
a venue in this scene?

Generally, I look for two things in a story. Good craftsmanship and originality. And therein lies the rub. I know there are many good writers out there who know how to make one sentence follow another coherently until a readable story is formed. I believe I had an issue full of them. Originality, however, is another matter. Australia isn't keen on pushing the envelope. ASIM could be so influential if it just dared to let the alternative voices speak, but it prefers stories that centres around cute aliens and talking cats. I'm beyond that. I like stories that make you think, that make you question the reality you exist within. (Having said that, Sally Beasley published my story "The Memory of Breathing" within issue 17, a story that tries to do just that.) Sites like TicOn and Shadowed Realms are trying to put out new authors and new ideas, but there's room for a lot of improvement within the scene.

3) It's been said that the Australian Speculative Fiction is not drawing in
enough new readers to see it expand. How would (assuming you agree with it)
go about bringing new and younger readers to the work?

I don't agree with it. I am a member of a writing group that meets together once a month, plus I attend workshops and conventions and what I see convinces me that SF readership is expanding. We have two young writers (aged under 20) at our group, plus Swancon has quite a large young fan base that continues to grow.
I have 5 children and all are either reading SF (John Marsden, Emily Rodda, Dave Luckett) or having it read to them.

4) You're dead. A cage containing a flying monkey fell on you. The Wizard of
Oz has much to answer for. Still, you're dead, and you got to Heaven
(assuming you believe, blah blah) and you see God. You say?

At last, an easy one! I spent 14 years of my life as a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses. This meant I believed, with all my heart and soul, that only a few people made it to Heaven (the 144,000) and that the rest of us would die, stay dead for a while and then be resurrected after Armaggeddon to live forever in the new Paradise that would be established upon the earth. If I did make it to Heaven and met God, I believe I would say; "Well, that's 14 years of my life I'm never getting back."

5) Favourite swear word?

Being a Witness has made it very hard for me to learn to swear. Lee has taught me to say the occasional F word, but I really have to psyche myself into it. I guess my favourite is 'bugger'. It suits so many different occasions, and, as an ex-Witness, I can make it sound really filthy.

2005-04-11T19:35:00.000+08:00

Thick and fast

I've had two more 'interviews', this time from Ben Peek and my own beloved.

I'll answer Lee's first because, well, simply because I've already copied the questions and they're sitting on the clipboard.

1. You spent over a decade in a repressive religious system. How does living within such a restrictive set of mores inform your writing?

Well, it makes using swear words harder :) I don't think it changed things on the whole. I still wrote the stories I wanted to write (including one piece of erotica as well as one that relied heavily upon spiritism) but the difference lay in what I sent out. The erotic one was sent (and rejected) when I'd stopped being a Witness and the other was deleted as soon as I'd hit that final full-stop. At 10,000 words it was a long piece of work. I could have deleted it at any stage and saved myself the hassle, but I felt the need to see it through to the end. Looking back, I can see the work was incredibly immature and over-written, but it was still a step in the right direction.

2. Your work often displays levels of subtlety with regards to its SF elements. Do you feel that women writers, and I'm thinking of the likes of Kate Wilhelm here, come at Sf from a more emotional POV then men, in general?

Are you asking if I think that women are emotional writers while men write from logic? Not in my experience. I tend to read more male writers than female and the ones I've read and enjoyed have drawn upon the emotional element. I look at writers such as Harlan Ellison, Tom Reamy, Terry Dowling, Martin Livings and yourself and I find that none of you consistently write the 'hard' or 'in your face' SF. Carol Ryles and James Tiptree Jr on the other hand are capable of logical writing. It all depends on the author.

3. Your story ideas keep turning into novel ideas. Why?

Because at heart I'm a novelist, but the quickest way to build a reputation is through short stories. Each story I write is a step towards a novel and their growing length reflects this. Having said that, I'm working on a piece that's bound to end up as flash.

4. You've gained a reputation as a good editor in quick time. What is it you look for when editing, and what makes the difference between an acceptance and a rejection?

I have fallen into editing quite by accident. Writing is my passion and editing is something I do for the simple pleasure of it.
I look for readability first and foremost. The first story I accepted for publication in ASIM 11 was Rick Kennet's "Time In A Ricebowl" simply because he made me late in picking my kids up from school. The story had that quality that made time seem irrelevant.
I want to know the author cares about his own work. I recently had someone send me something with a cover letter that stated: "Here's some poetry. I think it's sh*t, but you might be able to do something with it." I rejected it without even reading it. If he thinks it's so awful, why does he think I'll want it?
I'm a good editor. I have an eye for what works and what doesn't. This is because I'm a huge reader and have been since the age of 4. I can recognise a good writer who needs practice and a good writer who is lazy and expects me to fill in the blanks. I'll accept the former and reject the latter.
Don't cheese me off when it comes to grammar. And watch your adjectives, and your 'dreaded ly' words. When I finish a story I do a Find (Control F) and count the ly words. I allow words like only and rely to pass, but I look for everything else and try to replace it. Sometimes you can't. I try to have no more than 1 per 5 pages.

5. You've overcome a lifetime of hardship and oppression to get to this place in your life. To what do you credit your ability to continue seeing the positive in people and situations?

I honestly don't know. I'm not a physically strong person, but I do have a mental strength about me. I think I've met the right people at the right times in my life who have helped me in my journey to this point. My maternal grandparents were the most wonderful people in the world. They believed that I was this amazing person who would go on to do amazing things. Their love and trust was unconditional and they helped me hold on to the tiny shred of self-esteem I had. I look in the mirror and like who I am because of them.
I believe in being self-responsible. I don't believe in playing the victim. In the end we're all responsible for our own lives. Yes, terrible things happen to good people, but you have to move on and grow. Don't get me wrong. I didn't just pick myself up and put it all behind me. I've contemplated suicide, lived a wild life, relied upon alcohol, turned to religion (and turned away again), gone through hours and hours and hours of counselling, taken medication for clinical depression and denied my body of food for days on end just so I could feel pain. It hasn't been easy, but I made an effort to change myself. I've been blessed with good friends and loving family who have helped me over the worst hurdles and I'm grateful to each and every one.

2005-04-10T22:04:00.000+08:00

Here comes another one.

Mynxii interviewed me. Here are the rules.

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your livejournal/website with the answers to the questions and leave the answers as comments here (or at least provide a pointer to your site).
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here are her questions and my answers.

1. If you were to leave a quote, or a phrase set in stone for generations of the far distant future to find, what would you wish to impart to them? Time with your children is always more important than housework. The house won’t come to you in 20 years and say ‘thank you’.

Oh, I have another one. "27 days of the month I'm lovely. On the 28th day, leave chocolate."

2. Choose three words to describe yourself - why did you choose them, how do they represent you? Empathetic. Loving. Frightened. I’m empathetic because I’ve suffered a lot of physical and emotional trauma in my life (both as a child and as a young adult), so I find it rather easy to place myself in someone else’s shoes. I’m loving because, well, just because I am. And as for frightened? As I mentioned, I’ve been through a lot, so I’m quite psychologically scarred. This has left me terrified of everything. I have a lot of phobias (heights, enclosed spaces, middle-aged people, having my belly-button touched [yes, really. Ask Lee], bodies between me and the exit plus others) so I tend to protect myself by dissociating. I can ‘meld’ with pretty much anything, but I prefer walls. I admit, I hide behind Lee a lot.

3. What is your favourite line in the story you least expected to like and why? I had to laugh at this one. I’m glad you didn’t specify a book, because I haven’t an answer to that. Remember when we were watching “Chances” tonight and I said “I’ve just realised an answer to Ju’s question?” It was this one. And the answer? “Vitamin E Cream.”

4. What guest author/famous person would you most like to have the chance to get to know and why? Jean Auel. Simply to prove to myself that she’s still alive. I read (most) of her last book and I don’t believe she wrote it. I think she died and her son took over.

5. If you were a warrior princess - what would your weapon of choice be? A burly body guard.

Now, who's up for some probing?

A bad moon a-rising (if you don't want to know about the secret workings of my body, don't read any further).

I'm feeling particularly hormonal tonight. Unfortunately, chocolate cake, chocolate icecream and kiwi-fruit chocolate haven't helped. I'm getting my first period since Connor was conceived and I feel like HELL! (Don't say I didn't warn you.)

The symptoms? I want to grind my teeth, cry, climb a water tower, take out a few stupid people (ie anyone who crosses my path) have a bath, eat a tonne of chocolate, yell, scream, cry some more and bite a hot water bottle's head off.

Instead I'll climb into bed and ask Battboy to hug me.

I love my husband. He can fix anything.

Unveiling.

Tomorrow the sticky bandage comes off my hand. A good thing too, as it started peeling off about 2 days after it went on. Lee's been cutting it back as necessary and yesterday we began to expose damaged skin. Tomorrow it all comes off. I'd be more excited but previous section prevents such a display.

Have a week. What you choose to do with it is your business.

2005-04-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

When it was only half way up

I've received some wonderful feedback about my story "The Memory of Breathing", featured in this month's ASIM. The general feeling is very positive and I've been basking in the happiness of a job well done.

Today we received an email saying there was a review in The Internet Review of Science Fiction. At first I thought the reviewer was giving me my first negative feedback. Now, in my opinion, all comments are good comments. This is how we learn about both our strengths and our weaknesses.

I've just reread the review so I could take his (her?) comments on board and work out what I need to do next time. I've now changed my mind. It is, in fact, quite positive. Two ASIM stories are featured, mine being one of them, so this alone is a positive thing. I'm being noticed and in this case it's for good. My favourite comment is "this is a very compelling, scary story."

If only he wouldn't refer to me as "Triffitt." :)

2005-04-04T15:57:00.000+08:00

Full of Golden Agey goodness

Battboy and I spent about $50 recently and managed to acquire 31 Science Fiction books. Apart from some real duds (eg Communion by Whitley Streiber) there were some real pearlers (from the likes of Leiber, Clarke, Heinlein). I'll be reviewing Shane Jaraiya Cummings' Shadowed Realms site next week, but expect lots of reviews about the 'old' stuff within the next 31 weeks :)

If it please Your Honour

It seems the Lyn and Lee Light and Magic show is gaining a reputation. Not only have I been asked to organise and present next year's Tin Ducks at Swancon, Lee and I were approached this afternoon to act as judges for this year's KSP Science Fiction and Fantasy awards. Unfortunately, this does mean we can't enter the KSP one, but that's okay. We have lots of markets we want to try anyway. After hearing from previous judges about the sheer magnitude of the task, I'm glad we're doing it together.

Dammit Janet

Lots of fun and songs at last night's Sunday Movie Night. We headed off to Calli and Chesh's and at about 6pm sat down in front of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

It was a hoot.

The last time I watched this movie, I was in the early days of dating Jon. That was about 16 years ago. Last night I was well and truly indoctinated into the true meaning of celebrating Rocky.

I sort of knew about the newspaper on head thing and the cigarette lighters but for the first time I learnt about introduction decorum. By the third: "My name is Brad Majors (A**hole) and this is my fiancee Janet Weiss (Sl*t) I was yelling along with the rest of them.

We sang, we laughed, we got excited. (I defy anyone to watch Frank N Furter prancing around in his corset and tights and NOT turn to their spouse with the words and say "You're so going to get lucky tonight")

The food was yummy. I made Pumpkin Soup for the first time in 2 years (Battboy hates pumpkin) and Perky made Chili Con Carne. Soooo good. Apricot Pie followed for dessert, but I declined. I have 2 gorgeous little black dresses I want to get into by next Summer.

Ummmm, let me think about that

When it comes to marriage, Battboy definately gets the better end of the deal. He says the magical "I will" and instantly gets a loving wife who adores him and sees to his every need. I say "I will" and I instantly get a loving husband who adores me and sees to my every need. But it doesn't end there. I also get the new name which means new responsibility. While Lee sat at home inputting the edits to ten of his stories today I was out walking the beat, certificate in hand. I had to go to the ANZ, Commonwealth, Medibank and Medicare to change my name. And I've still got the police station and insurance companies to go.

But what really put me on the spot was the choosing of a new signature. I had narrowed it down to four that I liked, but in the end there could be only one. After about 10 seconds of hard thinking I made the decision. And now it's legal.

The funny thing is, I kept dotting an i that doesn't exist.
Also, no one told me how hard it is to take a b into a y when you're writing really fast.

Okay, must be off to pick up the Battbrat from Day Care. Enjoy your week.

PS Tim Curry is a big SPUNK!!!!!!!

2005-04-02T18:36:00.000+08:00

On blogging

I'm an author. I like to write things down. I like to think that people would want to read them.

I blog, therefore I am.

As writers, we're encouraged to keep a journal. I started a diary on the first day of my previous marriage. I kept it up for a year and then updated it 5 years later. This was supposed to be my way of keeping track of my private progress as a wife. Naturally I wanted it to be discovered in future years. As a result it was tainted by the voice I wanted to have, rather than the one I actually own.

Blogging, it seems, is no different. In fact, blogging is more in your face with its intent. If we truly were private creatures, our thoughts and ideas would be kept under lock and key and not on the public domain of blogs and LJ's.

My friends inhabit cyber-space, just as we do. We often keep up with each other through the musings of our web-community. Often, when I catch up with friends, any news I impart is often greeted with, "Yes, I read it on your blog."

Through our respective blogs, Battboy and I make announcements, catch up with our friends, make known our upcoming plans and share an insight into our family and business lives. We're totally into each other and let the wider community share our passion.

Battboy and I have one rule about our blog. We don't read each other's until we've finished.

Lately it has become apparent to me that blogs can be detrimental. When we rant about our fellow villagers we do so in a public forum. Our thoughts on any given topic is exposed to the world at large and not just to our intimate posse. A lot of noses were put out of joint recently when one villager vented about a rejection he'd received from TicOn. Other noses were broken when another within the community tore him to pieces for doing so. Sides were taken and things got ugly. Now his LJ is being circulated amongst publishers as a warning.

I know my ex-husband reads both mine and Lee's blogs. I can't stop him from doing this, but I wish he wouldn't. I don't seek to hurt him, but I know that the things I write can and do affect him. So, for good or evil, I tend to edit what I write. I also tend to edit what Lee writes when it affects Jon. Thank god for the edit button.

I love blogging and don't intend to stop, but I do encourage people to think before you put anything too inflammatory in your blog or LJ. Just remember, today's online rant is tomorrow's gossip column.

On another topic entirely

I'd like to draw your attention to Shadowed Realms, edited by Shane Jaraiya Cummings and Angela Challis. This site features flash dark fiction written by some wonderful talent. This month's edition features my own beloved with his tale "Pater Familias." Check it out.

I'm going to post a review of the issue in IMHO next week, just as soon as I've finished posting my review of Borderlands 5.

Speaking of which

This will be posted by tomorrow night. I'm just waiting for Battboy to read Martin Living's story "Hooked." I want to be able to discuss it with him without his being influenced by my review.

Happy birthday

My beautiful daughter Casi turns 14 on Wednesday. I asked her what she'd like for her birthday dinner. After about 3 seconds she answered, "I'd like you to make your chicken soup."
"I meant where would you like to go?"
"Nowhere. I want to stay at home and have your chicken soup for dinner. I really love it and I miss it."

We ate chicken soup with fresh rolls followed by mudcake for dinner tonight. It was fantastic.

Take care and have a lovely weekend

2005-03-31T18:09:00.000+08:00

Lay back and think of...

Battboy and I were chatting in the bedroom this morning. I glance up at the ceiling, resume talking Lee, glance up, talk, glance up, glance up, fall on the floor laughing.

There, smiling at me from his position above my pillow is Neil Gaiman.

It took me five minutes to calm down.

Passion, thy name be Neil.

A rose by any other name.

Inpsired by Shane Jaraiya Cummings' blog, I decide to do something serious about my weight. Battbaby is pretty much weaned, so my metabolism is slowing and the weight's creeping on again.
So there I am, inside of a Jenny Craig centre.
"Name?"
"Lyn Battersby," I proudly reply. "I got married on the weekend."
"Congratulations," the skinny old thing enthuses, "that's lovely."
"Yes, it is."
We fill in the forms, date it, I sign it.
Fifteen minutes later I'm on the treadmill at the gym when the scene replays itself through my endorphin enriched mind.
That's when I realised.
I've signed the form with my usual L Triffitt.

This is going to take some getting used to.

Don't ask me when I'm doing up a new blog. I just don't know.

Take care. Apparently there are going to be huge storms tonight.

2005-03-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

Even the pain wasn't enough

I'm now Mrs Battersby and yesterday proves it.

Making up a couple of bottles for the Battbaby yesterday, I had the misfortune of tipping freshly boiled water over my hand. I tried to put up with the pain. The Doctor Who panel was about to start, with the Closing Ceremony to follow and I didn't want to take Lee away from either of them. I went downstairs, showed Battboy my hand and immediately had a number of people fussing around me, applying cool water, ice and flannels. Eventually the pain was so bad I decided to take a couple of Panadol. All to no avail. Ten minutes into the panel I had to leave the room to run more water over the burn. A couple of friends found me there and went to find Lee to tell him I needed to go to hospital.

We arrived at Charlie Gardener's and was immediately 'fast tracked'. It was decided the burn was second degree and needed swift attention. Now, you have to understand, swift on a public holiday means you wait 2 hours instead of 7. I was just about passing out by this time as I'd reached the end of my coping abilities. Then a nurse came into the waiting room and said the magic words; "Lyn Battersby?"

I grinned. No amount of pain could spoil the deliciousness of hearing my new name said out loud in public. It was so cool.

The Wedding (aka The Highs and Lows of Getting Married to Battboy)

Saturday really was the best day of my life. Yes, I've been married before and at the time, THAT was the best day, but I didn't get to follow it up with a Tin Duck, did I? :)

It all could have been somewhat different.

On Friday my little brother phoned to say he wasn't coming to the wedding. This was devastating news in and of itself. Raymond and I were never close growing up but had managed to build up a nice relationship in the past 18 months or so. We had finally reached a point where we honestly liked each other. Then this. But to make it worse, he was supposed to be giving me away. 24 hours until my big moment and I had no-one to walk me down the aisle.

Fortunately I was in a group surrounded by people I loved and who cared about me. Two possibilities sprang to mind. Callisto Shampoo, who has become one of my best friends over the past year or so, and Dave Luckett, a man I look up to and respect as both a writer and a person and whom I feel a certain kinship towards. Dave was one of the first people I met in the SF scene and I've grown very fond of him and his wife Sally. After much thought I asked Calli and she said 'yes'. As the time neared, I told her how I'd also thought of Dave and she said, "why not have us both?" So I did. I sent Calli off to ask him while I finished getting dressed.

5:30 came. It was time to go. Casi decided she needed another coat of lipstick. And another. And another.
5:33 we drag my beautiful daughter away from the mirrow and finally leave the room. We enter the lift. It stops on the second floor to let someone else on.
5:35 we step out of the lift, where I'm immediately joined by both Chesh and the photographer, both of whom are giving me instructions that I can't follow. Apparently Battboy had sent Chesh off to find me and make sure I was still coming.
5:37 I finally take that first step down the aisle. Time becomes a blur as I spy my beloved and move towards him. We're both crying. We hold each other close and mouth "I love you" at each other.
The words are said and repeated. We both give our own vows. We cry some more. We kiss, we hug, we kiss a lot more. We sign the registry. We're announced as man and wife. Everyone goes wild.

I loved every minute of it. I loved my dress, my flowers, my hair, but most of all I loved the look on Lee's face when he first saw me. And of course, I love Lee (who looked amazing in his black suit with his hair braided).

But I was sad that my brother wasn't there. And why not? Because I'd invited our mother and he couldn't put aside his enmity for 40 minutes.

I'm not angry. Just disappointed.

I loved the con. Getting married was both wonderful and beautiful, my hen's night was a blast (thanks again to Calli for making it so), receiving 3rd place in the short story competition was lovely, 2nd was better and the Tin Duck was brilliant, fantastic, amazing.

I am one very happy Battbride.

2005-03-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

Quack quack

I know. I said I wasn't going to blog until after the con, but somebody offered me a computer and here and I am.

The past 24 hours needed to be blogged.

Last night, at about 6pm, I was informed by Sally that Locus was reviewing ASIM 17, and that my story was having nice things written about it. I've been receiving positive comments all weekend so this was the icing on the cake.

And then came the candles.

Complete with those cute little flowerette thingies that hold them stable in the cake.

Tonight I received third place in the Swancon Awards for my story "A Whisper in the House of Angels."

And second place for my story "Unnatural Selection."

And the Tin Duck for ASIM 11. You know the issue. It's the one where I was told by some of my fellow editors that my stories were inappopriate and in bad taste. I feel well and truly vindicated. I know that at least one of the editors reads my blog. I don't mean you.

Anyway.

I'm an award winning author and editor.

Woohoo to me.

I'm a happy girl.

Oh yeah, I got married too.

All my certificates say "Lyn Battersby."

Teehee.

I have more to say on the subject, but it really can wait until Tuesday afternoon.

Take care.

PS. How much of a nerd am I? I'm in a room party, full of people drinking, and I'm typing my blog on a laptop.

2005-03-24T09:14:00.000+08:00

Last days of the Triffitt

We're off to Swancon in a few minutes (well, actually, we're off to do a whole lot of last minute running around before we reach Swancon, but I digress...) and this is likely to be my last blog as a Triffitt. I will blog one more time on this site when I get back so I can tell you my new blog address.

So how do I feel about this?

Well, I'm excited about the wedding obviously. I love Lee and am looking forward to being his wife. Having a ceremony that changes my name only symbolises a commitment I'd already made to him and our family.

I feel strange to be changing my name. I've been a Triffitt since I was 20, almost half my life, so it feels weird to know that on Saturday I'll wake up a Triffitt and go to bed a Battersby.

Any regrets?

None. Lee and I are the poster couple for relationships. We have an amazing simpatico and totally get each other. We have a wonderful ability to communicate and really enjoy being together, as 14 months of living in each other's pockets 24/7 has proven.

I regret that we both had to lose something precious from our previous lives to get to this point, but as neither of us is responsible for the other person's loss there's not a lot to gain in feeling bad about it.

Am I worried that this marriage will end as the last one did?

No. Lee and I are on the same page when it comes to life, the universe and everything. We have many shared areas separate from the children and we also have our own interests that we feel free to pursue with the other's encouragement.

I loved Jon, but I never felt like we had anything in common. We were two people sharing a life while we walked different paths. I was tied up in being a mother and a Witness. Jon was very work driven. I knew he was on holidays because his work computer came home. I'm not saying that was a bad thing, just that it would have been nice to do something together as a couple occasionally. We didn't really have anything in common so once the children started to develop their independence we found we didn't have a lot to talk about.

Lee and I have our writing, editing of Ticonderoga, our friends, movies and music. Okay, our musical tastes are quite different, but how many people do you know can bond over Jona Lewie's "Stop the Cavalry"?

Well, that's all I've got to say for now. Enjoy your break, whether you're a believer or not. Take care, and, if you're on WA roads, remember it's double demerit points until Monday.

2005-03-23T18:07:00.000+08:00

Well, derr...

I just completed a meme about my brain's gender. Like I didn't know this already.

Your Brain is 86.67% Female, 13.33% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl
Which isn't a bad thing at all
You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.
You're a good friend and give great advice.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

2005-03-23T06:25:00.000+08:00

Rose coloured glasses

It's 3 days until the wedding. Three days until my family and friends turn up to watch me walk down the aisle and marry the man I love. Three days until I make the transition from Triffitt to Battersby in front of about 250 people, some friends, some acquaintances, some camera people brought in specially for the day. Three days until Lee gazes into my eyes and tells me why he loves me.

And I have conjunctivitis.

On a brighter note.

Swancon starts tomorrow. Two weeks ago I was panicking. There was so much to do and so little time. The dress had to be taken up, Casi's had to be bought and altered, the boys had shoes but no clothes, the flowers needed to be finalised, the list went on. Lee was very calm. "It's all under control," he assured me. For him maybe. Everything that needed doing was on my list of things to do, and, as any engaged couple will tell you, the bride's list is about 4 times as long as the groom's.
But, I got it all done.
And the roles have reversed.
For while Battboy didn't have quite the same number of wedding things to do, he has about 4 times as many panels as I have and so about 4 times as many to prepare (although one's my hen's night, so more of a "Callisto" thing to do than "Lyn" thing).
Guess who's panicking now???
If you're off to Swancon this weekend, be sure to check out Lee's Alternative History Panel. A hit last year, I can pretty much guarantee it'll be even better this year. How many other panelists will be buying mob lots of play-doh and then informing their 3 year old, "No sorry, sweetie, that's daddy's"?

Back to square one

The Battbaby's recent foray into all-night-sleeping has come to an end. He's back to waking up twice a night. So much for an uninterrupted wedding night.

Progress

We have had some progress on the bottle front. Connor now happily takes a bottle, even from me, which means I won't have to undress to feed him during the wedding.

Pagan's Progress

That's the name of the video we watched yesterday at uni. I'm enjoying this unit. Every week we learn about the belief systems of a different group of people. Last week we covered Native Americans. I came home and logged on to the discussion board and proceeded to give a little rant about the use of Dream-catchers for ornamental purposes and how important cultural totems should be left to the people who practice within that culture. Pressing 'send' I glanced up and saw the Indian Peace Pipe I bought for Battboy's 33rd birthday, which I bought merely because I knew he'd think it was cool. Hmmm, maybe I should think before I write next time.

Feedback

I've had a lot of positive comments about "The Memory of Breathing" since ASIM 17 came out. Of all the stories I've written, it's my favourite, so I'm glad other people are really enjoying it too.

Well, with less than 28 hours to go until we leave, I have a lot to do (like putting more drops in). Take care and enjoy the break.

2005-03-20T08:28:00.000+08:00

No publicity is bad publicity

News of a certain author's rejection by our little webmag has spread like wildfire. Or, to be more precise, it's not the rejection that has everybody in a tizz, but his reaction to that rejection. Now this person's story is not the first to be rejected by us (and I reiterate here, it's the story we rejected, not the person). We've rejected many works, some of them with higher profiles than the person in question.

I had hoped that his little explosion would be a flash in the pan event, a few feathers would be ruffled, but we'd all settle quickly and get back to counting down the days until Swancon. It hasn't turned out that way.

Everybody is talking about the reaction and the (still ongoing) repercussions. It's the main subject on both lips and blogs (and LJ's).

Which just goes to show, in this game, any publicity is good publicity. It seems a massive Google search is going on to test the author's credibility. He's getting more press now than ever before, which, even if it's not a positive result, it's still a result.

On the up-side, we're getting mentioned too.

Our reaction to this reaction?

We're the editors. We don't have to justify ourselves to anyone. If, on the other hand, you would like to see some quality work by quality authors, go to the TicOn website and treat yourself to the likes of Martin Livings and Ben Peek.

More on Martin

I'm pleased to name drop here. Martin Livings is a friend. He comes to my house for videos and parties and stuff. He even lets me call him Martin now :)
I love being an editor. It gives my fannishness of Martin credibility. I get to read his work and, if I like it (and I always have), I get to push it forward for publication. Yay this job!!

While I'm on a fannish bent

One of the first authors I came across when I decided to take my SF writing seriously was Stephen Dedman. I started reading his The Art of Arrow Cutting, moved on to Foreign Bodies, snapped up The Lady of Situations and of course read his recent short stories in ASIM etc. I'm a fan. For me, Stephen represents Australian horror. His work scares me and excites me at the same time. When I think of Australian talent I think of Stephen second (Battboy always comes first).
Which is why it seems rather surreal to think that next Saturday night he'll be wearing a suit and standing next to Lee as the Best Man at our wedding.

Speaking of which...

This is the last Sunday I'll ever spend as a Triffitt

Celebration time

Last night's party was a blast. We were joined by Callisto and Cheshire, PRK and Tory (the spelling of her name goes through a new incarnation every time we write it) Ju and Kaneda, Aki, Martin and Dr Iz, Nigel, Sheldon, Kylie, Simon, Elaine, Sharon and Chris. Best costumes of the night go to Kylie and Cheshire. Kylie wore a stone-wash denim dress with matching ribbon (a la Desperately Seeking Susan) and shoes while Chesh favoured the leather pants and zipped jacket look (which, rather unsurprisingly given the humidity of the night, quickly became the 'hot and sweaty' look). We ate, drank and gossiped. We listened to 80's music (a few of us were even guilty of singing along occasionally) and then about midnight sat in the lounge and mellowed out to video clips.

On the subject of parties...

I'd like to thank PRK, Ju, Calli, Chesh, Lily, Davina, Christine, Kylie and Anna for coming to my Tupperware party and being so generous. I've stocked up on the pantry range. Has anyone seen our unruly pantry???

Have a nice week and I'll see most of you at Swancon.

2005-03-15T19:22:00.000+08:00

What the...?

I was woken up by a very excited Battboy at about 1am this morning. No, not for the normal reason an excited man wakes his partner up, but because he'd just stumbled upon the news that ASIM 11 is up for a Tin Duck. Despite the ungodliness of the hour, I managed a feeble "woohoo" and a hug for the messenger.

The Battbaby woke me up about an hour later and I managed to read the news myself. Am I pleased? Hell, yes! I worked really hard on that issue and stood firm in the face of many criticisms and it's paid off. I don't mind if the issue doesn't win. The nomination is reward enough. Okay, the trophy would be cool, too.

I'm a very proud editor right now :)

We did it!

Battboy and I should have a t-shirt made up declaring, "I watched all of Simon Schama's History of Britain and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Lee and I love our History, and the series was fantastic from this perspective, but Schama does go on a bit doesn't he?

Where to begin

Two days until the Tupperware Party and five until the Last Days of the Triffitt one. We're looking around at the house and wondering where to start on our road to cleanliness. Hmmmm. I called a cleaner and arranged for her to come out on Wednesday, but something about her manner freaked me a little so I've decided we'll do it ourselves.

On the plus side, the patio looks fantastic and both parties will probably take place outside.

For those who need to know

11 days to go. Tomorrow marks a week and a half!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I bought clips for my hair.

Study time. Take care

2005-03-14T21:09:00.000+08:00

Because he hasn't got enough to do...

Battboy has a new baby, a book about to be launched, 34 stories to bring up to scratch, a wedding to prepare, 57 panels to organise (Okay it's closer to 8, but anything over 4 is way too much) a suitcase to pack, a house to get ready for not one but two parties this week, a pool to pack up and put away, housework to share, overdue books to return to three different libraries, a cot to paint and assemble and a dishwasher to move.

So what's he doing?

He is sitting about a metre and a half away from me typing furiously into his computer. What's he typing? 25 movies you need never see before you die, with synopses.

He's so cute I just have to love him.

Ticonderoga

Get your fresh Ticonderoga Online free on the 15th of this month (I believe that's tomorrow). Issue three is good to go. I'm editing this installment which features Martin Livings (the third story of his I've published) and Ben Peek.

It's a parenting thing

My brother phoned tonight all excited because his seven month old daughter Grace has cut her first tooth. Naturally I had to tell him all about my three month old son who today managed to get up on his hands and knees 4 times before falling down. This is one child who is eager to be off.

It's a parenting thing part two

Battboy and I took the kids to see Constantine last week. The preview for Batman came on. Lee told me not to worry about the preview but to watch the boys' faces for the moment they realised what they were watching.

Straws stopped in mid-air, jaws dropped, eyes widened. Two heads swivelled in Lee's direction with "OH MY GOD!" written all over their apprentice-nerd faces.

I'm a happy mummy.

Well, I'm off to study. Have a lovely week

2005-03-08T20:40:00.000+08:00

Memes.

Chaosmanor 'interviewed' me for her LJ. Here are her questions, followed by my answers.

1) I write long angsty complicated romances, and presumably that says something about me. What does what you write say about you? 2) What's the wedding dress situation? Do you fit in the one you had bought pre-pregnancy? Or are you choosing another one? 3) Do you miss your religious beliefs? 4) What were the reasons for choosing Connor as your son's name? 5) Do you think it was a good idea to send Lee and Stephen off to choose suits without supervision? Are you prepared for the outcome?

1) I think my stories show that I'm at heart very lonely and looking for the answers as to why. My characters tend to be rather sad individuals who don't really fit in with those around them. 2) Well, I'm back to my pre-pregnancy shape and size so I'm assuming I will fit into my dress. I'm off to the city on Monday to have a fitting. I'm hoping it will actually be a bit big as it'll be easier to take in than let out. The only concern I have: my new and improved boobies that are bigger now that I'm feeding. 3)Yes, I do miss my beliefs, each and every day, but I know I'll never return. I've grown and changed too much and the thought of having old men telling me how to live my life leaves me cold. 4) When I was about 16 weeks pregnant I had a dream that I gave birth to a beautiful, little boy with red hair and his name was Connor James. When I woke up I told Lee. He nodded and said "I like it". At 19 weeks we found out I was having a boy and it was decided. And sure enough he is beautiful and has red hair (a total surprise to all). 5) I was rather worried, but when Lee came home he told me what they'd decided on and they sounded fine.

Are we there yet?

People keep asking how the wedding plans are going. The answer really depends on who you ask. If you ask Lee, the answer is: everything's done, we're all finished, nothing to do now but say "I do" at the appropriate moment.

Ask me however, and the answer is likely to be a long drawn out scream.

Cassie's dress needs taking up (being done after school tomorrow)
I need to call the florist about the colour of the ribbons on the flowers
Lee and the boys need socks
I need stockings
I need to decide upon a hair style
I need to decide upon a hair colour
My eyebrows need doing
Cassie's eyebrows need doing
We need to talk to the chef about our wedding cake
We need to work out the champagne situation
I need to pick up my wedding ring
I need to write a list about all the things we're taking with us to the hotel

On the positive side, my wedding dress only needs minor alterations and those are of the taking in variety rather than the letting out.

Panic

Lee keeps telling me he's quite cool about the whole thing. His body is telling me something else entirely. Whenever he's stressed his nose peels which is exactly what it's doing now.

Poor baby

The Battbaby is very sad at the moment. One of his teeth is coming through and is causing him a lot of pain. I have to say he's handled it well so far. Three hours at uni today with barely a peep, an hour and a half at mother's group with slight whining and a slightly restless night from about 3:30 on. Battboy and I have compared notes and have decided that the other four were much, much worse. Connor's been teething for the last week or so and is only now starting to complain. My poor darling.

Play that funky music...

Went with the posse to see Bride and Prejudice last night. It was brash, colourful, joyful and fun.
For: I knew my Jane Austen and understood that most of the lines were complete ripoffs
Against: Ditto
For: The lead female character was beautiful
Against: Her acting was quite wooden and her early laughter was forced
For: All the kissing
Against: Took place on each other's forehead!!!! Dig those racy Indians.
For: The costumes were wonderful and would look fabulous on me
Against: I already have a wedding dress :)
For: It seemed to be a defence of the Indian culture
Against: It also seemed to send up the Indian culture and relied upon stereotypes (Mrs Bahkshir [ignore my spelling] and Kholi)
For: Kholi was wonderful.
Against: Kholi was awful. No, not a typo, he was both and I loved him for it. I actually thought he was the best part of the movie.
For: Best lines in the movie (not a real quote but the gist of them):

Dad: You understand what your mother is saying? If you don't marry Kholi she will never speak to you again.
Laleeta (again ignore spelling) nods
Dad: Well, I say if you do marry him I will never speak to you again.

Against: Well, no against with this. They were great lines in the book and worked well here too.
For: A great night out with my friends
Against: Battboy stayed at home to look after Erin and Connor. He would have hated the movie, but I love discussing movies with him and hated coming home and only being able to tell him about it without sharing the experience with him.

Ju chose the movie and thus showed she might one day be trusted to choose videos for our movie night again :)

Who is Number One?

We've recently introduced the Triffitt children to The Prisoner. Lee and I discovered this series last year and very quickly became huge fans. We're doing a panel on it at Swancon and have been watching the 7 core episodes for research. As a result, Cassie, Aiden and Blake have been exposed to the mystery of Number One. By the end of the second episode they'd pretty much made their own hypotheses and tried to work out just who is number one and wow! did they give it thought. They were logical and coherent in their musings and I was impressed in how their minds worked. I'm one proud mummy.

Gonna get me an education

Second day at uni and I'm loving it. I'm studying The Search for Meaning which looks at religions in Australia. The first lecture dealt with Aboriginal spirituality. This and the tutorial were brilliant, full of discussion and opinion. I'm working on a story at the moment called "Aphrodite in Exile" which deals with the Dreaming and managed to learn quite a bit today that I can put to use within the story, so this degree thing is already paying off.
I love learning and putting my brain to use. I get to give a tutorial in about 5 weeks and will be looking whether the Hindu faith is culture or religion. I will be taking the position of "does there have to be an either/or situation here?" I'm looking forward to it.

Odd, very odd

The movie night this week was a blast. Sheldon announced that Teppanyaki would be on the menu, so we all scrambled to match this (unlike last week's lazy pizza night). We had a lot of good food along with good company and conversation on the still-evolving patio. After dinner we headed inside for the movie: Spaceballs. Awful movie for the most part, but somewhat fun too.

Well, I should be working so "Hi ho, hi ho." Have a lovely week.

2005-03-04T16:58:00.000+08:00

Let's do the timewarp...

Yay for me! I not only won the top I had my eye on, I manage to be highest bidder on two others. My journey back to the 70's is under way. The whole purchase came to 33.08 GBP (with postage) so I'm happy. I've also got my eye on some others that are coming up over the next few days, including a gorgeous emerald green dress.

I'll have the pork rolls and the fried squid and the custard buns and...

Battboy and I had a yum-cha lunch with Calli, Ju, Matt, PRKy and Torrie today. We had a fantastic time, talking about everything from the trials and tribulations of parenthood to the lifestyle exhibition Battboy and I went to a couple of years ago. The food was good, the company wonderful, the lemonade delicious (I'm serious. I believe Kirk's is the yummiest lemonade you can get). The staff were another matter entirely, but good for a giggle anyway.

And the Battbaby, as usual, was brilliantly behaved.

If you don't laugh, you cry...

"Guess what?" we often ask the children. "I love you," is the reply. It's our little family ritual that started when the older three were babies.

The Battbrat was causing mayhem this morning. Everything we asked her to do seemed to be cause for whining, crying, sulking and defiance. Lee and I had a huge day planned, and it looked like it was going to take place in hell. Exasperated, we looked at each other and simultaneously decided "Day care."

This brought on a fresh bout of whingeing but we were undeterred. We packed the family up and headed out the door. Buckling Erin into her seat, Lee tried to jolly her out of her tantrum with the news that her brothers and sister were joining us for the weekend.
"Who would you like to see this weekend?" asks daddy dearest.
"I don't know," is the mumbled reply.
"Would you like it if your brothers came over?" I asked from the front seat.
"And your sister?" Battboy joins in.
"Yes," she whispers.
"Well, guess what?"
"I love you, too, Daddy."
It was just too cute. Everything was forgiven. Erin was hugged and kissed and every body was happy.

Didn't stop us from dropping her off at day care though.

Have a shiny, happy weekend.

2005-03-04T04:38:00.000+08:00

If I don't have it, I will die

I'm on ebay at the moment and watching the time closely. It's 4.30 am and there's an item that I absolutely have to have. I don't normally feel so passionate about ebay, but this is something special.

It's a top, genuine 1970's vintage, cheesecloth, white and high bodiced, and almost exactly like one my mum made me for my ninth birthday.

Why is this significant? It's the last thing my mum made and gave to me before she left two months after I'd turned nine (in 1978) I didn't see her again for another 6 years.

My mum and I aren't close. Sometimes I feel so angry towards her that I can't even imagine being in the same suburb as her let alone the same room, but then something will happen and the nine year old emerges and there it is, that love that a child has for her mummy. And this top has evoked that reaction within me.

I wants it. I needs it. It's my precious.

But I don't think I will win it. Already it's up to 11.00 GBP ($26.87). I thought I'd allow $25 plus postage. There's 3 hours to go and the two Brits who are fighting over it seem pretty keen themselves (I wonder if they had mothers who sewed for them :))

I'm now allowing $30 but I don't think it's going to work out.

Change of subject, then back to bed

I've given into pressure and have agreed to have a bridal shower in the form of a Tupperware Party. I've sent out invitations by email, but if you're a regular reader and would like to come just let me know via llbatt@dodo.com.au and I'll let you know when and where.

I wasn't going to have a bridal shower, they seem rather antiquated to me (and besides Battboy and I have pretty much every kitchen accessory you could ask for. Have you seen our so-space-age-it-should-be-on-a-rocket-ship toaster? The kids cook toast for dinner just so they have an excuse to use it :)) but as everyone kept asking about a registry (they still do those?????) I thought this might be a better option.

Have a nice day. We have gym, chiropractor, yum-cha with Calli and gang and then we get to pick the kids up for the long weekend. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-03-02T05:26:00.000+08:00

Aw shucks

It's 5am and I've just fed Connor. I thought I'd check the emails while up, answered them and, following a line of conversation between Calli and Battboy, ended up on the net. This was when I noticed that my darling had blogged.

I don't know what I did to deserve Lee. Either I was very very good in a previous life and am being rewarded or else I was very selfish and am being shown how to do this 'life' thing properly. No matter what I'm doing, whether it's writing out a story, wondering whether to let it form itself into a novel, attending uni or setting up mother's group, Lee's always on the side lines cheering me on, telling me how proud he is of me. If, at anytime, I waver in my belief of myself, he turns into a really hairy Laurie Lawrence and encourages me to keep going. Is it any wonder I love him?

First day

It was my first day back at uni yesterday. I thought I'd give it one day, see how the Battbaby went and make a decision from there as to whether I'd keep going or defer until he's able to attend a full day at child care.

Connor was, in a word, brilliant. We arrived early and took a seat at the front in case we needed to leave at any time. I popped Connor on a mat on the floor and there he pretty much stayed for the next 2 hours. He gurgled, he blew bubbles, he stared at the ceiling for so long he had others glancing up to see what he was looking at. He even fell asleep for 10 minutes. At the end of the session the lecturer came up to me and told me how happy she was to have such a good baby in her class (let's hope she keeps feeling that way) and the tutor offered to take him anytime I needed a break.

We went on to the tutorial from there. We had barely walked through the door when all the other students were suddenly all over him, touching his arm, holding his hands and feet and he loved it. He fully turned on the charm, smiling his wide-mouth grin and generally being adorable. He sat on my knee all through the tute and watched the room. One girl sitting behind me sat holding his hand throughout the hour, even when she was introducing herself and making comments.

All in all the afternoon was a success.

A storm to weather, let's hope it's not too violent.

In other Battbaby news, a tooth seems to be ready for cutting. Lately Connor has been gripping me with his gums and pulling, generally a sign of oral discomfit. I decided to check yesterday and found a lump where an incisor will eventually be. Now generally babies cut their bottom front teeth first and top front second, so this one seems to be rather left of centre (or actually right of centre if you want to be literal).

What surprises me is how close it is and yet how little he's fussing. Apart from the biting thing, there doesn't seem to be any other symptoms. Except for drool. We do have a fair amount of dribbling happening too, but considering the alternatives (high temperature, constant screaming, general pain) wet tops are not really a problem.

Of course, as we all know, babies can change in an instant.

Speaking of babies

Woke up the other morning to the realisation that I'd been nauseous for three days, running to the toilet every few minutes and suffering from extreme tiredness despite Connor's finally sleeping through the night.

Uh oh.

Talked to Lee about my suspicions on Monday morning. He told me to do a test when he got home from work. I spent the next 9 hours in a daze wondering what I was going to do. I'm anti-abortion but I didn't see how I could cope with another pregnancy. The last one had been so difficult, both mentally and physically and I didn't see how I could face going through that amount of pain again. I knew that Lee would support any choice I made, that he would help me through either decision. Around about lunchtime I realised I'd already made a decision. I'd been to the gym and worked at a lower level of intensity so as not to harm the baby and at lunchtime I ate very healthy food rich in all the 'right' nutrients. I knew what I was going to do.

Lee arrived home at 6 and I did the test. Negative! We were both very relieved and talked about what we would have done if it had been positive. I was so glad I wasn't. Connor is my baby and I want to have this time with him, getting to know him, and enjoying every moment of his development. I didn't want that cut short by a pregnancy and baby. I was one very happy woman.

And yet, when I woke up yesterday morning, I felt sad for the opportunity lost.

Not slack, just busy.

Yes, I know, I haven't put up a new review yet, but I'm afraid Real Life (TM) keeps getting in the way. Will try hard this morning, but be warned, a Tupperware party is in the offing, and I'm going to the gym and I want to have the house clean, so don't be surprised if it doesn't appear until this evening. The Battbaby goes into childcare this afternoon for a few hours, so I might be able to do it then.

Okay, that's my day started. I'm back into bed for 10 minutes to rest my eyes before Battboy's begins.

Have a lovely day.

2005-02-28T17:49:00.000+08:00

Routines R Us

This morning I tumbled out of bed when Battboy did, made him some breakfast, packed his morning tea and lunch, sewed a rip in his jeans and kissed him at the door as he went of to work.
Less than four weeks to go and I've got this 'wife' thing down pat :)

Movie night

Usual movie night last night. Chesh and Calli brought over 'Series 7'. Have to tell you, one of the best movies I've seen in a very long time. It was so tight in both plot and execution. Every detail rung true. Scary stuff.

Uni

Back at uni tomorrow with the Battbaby in tow. Should make lectures interesting as I take notes with one hand and hold the baby with the other. Due to his newly developed skill of sleeping through the night, he's eating more during the day, which will be a fine sight for all those 17 year old school leavers :)

Can't wait for uni. Baby-making has made my brains feel a little fried.

Welcome Home

Welcome home, Splanky. We missed you!!!! And the kiwi-fruit chocolate was brilliant. Gotta get some more.

Big huggles

Big warm huggles to Ju, just cos. Love you babe.

IMHO

Will be putting up my new review tonight. Just as soon as I narrow down what I'll be reviewing.

Have a great week

2005-02-26T21:09:00.000+08:00

I just 'borrowed' this from Grant's blog. Who'd have thunk it?

The Second Doctor: You are a small, clownish
figure, who often dances happy jigs while
playing a tune on your recorder. Though you
often seem terrified of the monsters you
encounter, you are a sly combatant of evil,
often playing the fool in order to trick your
foes into underestimating you.

Which Incarnation of the Doctor are you?
brought to you by

2005-02-24T21:49:00.000+08:00

I love a good meme in the morning.

Taken this from Battboy's blog who took it from someone else's.

Ten things I've done that you probably haven't.

I've:

1. Started trying for a baby at the age of 15 (yes, deliberately. Fortunately it didn't happen until 6 years later).

2. Been engaged three times by the time I was 20.

3. Had 5 fathers by the time I was 16.

4. Slept with an author after accepting his work for my publication.

5. Spent 13 years in a fundamentalist religion.

6. Got kicked out of number 5 for doing number 4.

7. Had a friend of my sister-in-law tell her that the best muffins she'd ever eaten was while she was travelling around Australia. They stopped off in Kununurra and had morning tea in a little cafe in the town. The muffins were wonderful, fantastic, sublime. Heather happily told her; "my sister-in-law Lyn makes them." It's true. I make great muffins.

8. Made a sale to the community newspaper when I was 16 by interviewing my high school principal. I got a by-line and everything.

9. a) Taken to a cemetery on a third date (my boyfriend Glen, who I was with for a few months between Sean and Jon) and b) Taken to a funeral so I could meet Lee's deceased wife's family. Like the situation wasn't tense enough.

10. Taken four years so far to complete my first year at uni (and still not done).

I love this sort of thing. I'm an author, I love sticking my nose where it doesn't belong and I love sharing my thoughts with others.

Half-way

Lee and I are now half-way into our diet. We have 28 days left and 30 days until the wedding. In our 28 days we've had two blow outs, with fish and chips last Friday and Sizzlers on Monday. Other than that we've been very good. In two weeks we can have eggs and chicken again. We can't wait.

Cat vacuuming

That's what Lee calls it when you do anything else rather than write and this night has been full of it. I sat down to work on two stories that I want to send out tomorrow, but so far all I've done is read and write blogs. I'll have to do it tomorrow now as it's definitely bed time.

2005-02-23T15:12:00.000+08:00

Is it duck season?
Is it rabbit season?

NO! It's Hot Cross Bun season. And nobody does them better than Baker's Delight.
The good news is, they're allowed on the diet! And we're taking advantage of the fact :)

First day blues

The Battbaby went off to his first 1/2 day at child-care today. I'm putting him in for 4 hours on Wednesday afternoons so I can get writing done. So far I've: had lunch with Battboy, had a rest and started on my blog. I'll start working after this, I promise.

I miss my baby :(

Funny!

Erin is going through the usual 3 year old angsts at the moment. One of her favourite phrases is "You're not my best-friend anymore" followed closely with "I no love you." I'm trying to teach her about emotional pain, so I've been touching my chest and saying, "You hurt my feelings." Yesterday she tripped over in her bedroom. She got up, grabbed her ankle and announced, "I've hurt my feelings." She's just too cute sometimes.

Okay, I can't think of anything else to write, so I best get on with the work. Enjoy the rest of your week (the countdown to the weekend begins :))

2005-02-21T21:20:00.000+08:00

New Blogspot

After looking at the various magazines and seeing how poorly they pay (ie not a cent) I've decided to write reviews of the different books I read and post them on my own blogspot. I've only written one review before (which is being published in ASIM) and am still on a learning curve. I welcome comments and feedback. If you disagree with what I've said, let me know and why.

The blog is called IMHO. I hope you enjoy it.

Hooray for me

Now for something a little less exciting to you, but had me jumping in happiness. I've gone down a whole dress size, thanks to the Liver Cleansing Diet and the gym membership Battboy gave me. We broke our diet today and went to Sizzler to celebrate. We both left feeling rather ill, and have vowed to be good for the rest of the diet. Well, I vowed for me and then vowed for Lee on his behalf :)

Hooray for him

Connor's sleeping through the night, usually somewhere between 6 and 10 hours. I'm starting to feel a little more alive. Naturally the first night was spent with me lying in bed wondering whether he was still alive.

Hooray for us

Battboy and I organised my flowers for the wedding today. We found a lady in Brookdale who was fabulous to work with and, as she's wholesale, the cost of my bouquet plus three girl's flowers plus delivery cost far less than just my bouquet from the other florist we talked to (who wasn't sure she could do the wedding, nor would she deliver).

Only one thing left to do. Our vows. I've written mine. Now they just need typing out and an edit, then they can go off to the celebrant.

Very funny (and then not so funny)

It was movie night last night. For a change of pace, Martin and Iz brought over Bill Bailey. We laughed ourselves stupid. There was one bit that I found particularly funny. He played the theme to EastEnders and put in the words "We are all going to die". This fits as, during the month I've been seriously watching the show, two characters have died in tragic circumstances. The first character I never even saw, I got into the show on the day of his funeral. I still cried. The second, Jamie, I did get to know, and he took a while to die (about 5 episodes) so as you can imagine, Connor's bibs have wiped up a lot more than baby-spit.

Have a great week. Think of me as you begin to tuck into your Hot Cross Buns (whose stupid idea was it to diet during Hot Cross Bun season?????)

PS You have got to see Bill Bailey on DVD, if only for the Kraftwerks Hokey Pokey. If I can quote Lee Battersby (and I think I can) it was a 'coke-spray moment'.

2005-02-16T21:23:00.000+08:00

Let's do that again

Bliss. Connor slept from 5.30 last night until midnight and then from 12.15 til 5. It was wonderful. Of course I missed the 2am showing of EastEnders, but picked it up at 7am :) Yes, it's trash, but I love it.

Accomplishment

Today I finished editing a story to the point where I think it's ready to go out. I'll read it at the writing group tomorrow, get their opinions and then send it on. I haven't had a story complete in quite a while. I have to say, I'm very pleased with it. I believe it's one of my stronger stories and look forward to placing it somewhere. I'm looking at the Swancon Short Story competition. One of the rules is that you can't have had more than 20,000 words published. I added up all my placements, both already published and to be published around that time and found I came in at around 16,000. Phew.

Ho hum

A quiet day, due to Connor's been very unsettled. He barely let me put him down at all. I didn't even get to look at my computer until an hour ago.

Food for thought

I'm thinking of starting up a new blog where each week I will review a book (both past and present). I have an idea of which book I'd like to review first, I just have to contact the author. Let me know what you think on Lee's message board.

Not much to write. Have a nice week.

2005-02-15T18:05:00.000+08:00

It's all in the genes

I have four biological children. For years I've had people look at my three older children, look at me, look at Jon and declare "Wow, they look just like their father." If you were to listen the gushing you'd think they didn't have one of my genes between them. They are Triffitts through and through.

On the other hand, they look at Connor, look at me, look at Lee and state "He looks just like his mother." Yes, it's true. The feet may be Lee's, but the rest is totally me.

But then we find this. People look at Connor, look at Casi, Aiden and Blake and decide with full assurance, "You can tell he's their brother. He's the very image of them." Now this is also very true. I have photos of the others at this age and they look exactly like Connor. Erin is convinced that a picture we have of Casi is in fact Connor and no amount of correction will convince her otherwise.

Which just goes to show. The three Triffitt children aren't as Triffittish as I'd been led to believe.

Erin, on the other hand, bares no similarity to her brother what so ever. Her frame is large and she has brown hair and brown eyes and a round face. Connor has a lanky frame (like Aiden) reddish blonde hair, blue eyes and a slim face. They look nothing alike. Well, apart from their feet, that is :)

Oh
My
God
!!!

The Swancon program is available. Turning to Saturday I find: "1600 - 1700 Wedding Setup" and "1700 - 1800 Wedding (Lee Battersby, Lyn Triffitt, others)." And let's not forget Thursday's "2200 - 2300 Hen's Night Party (Sarah Parker, Lyn Triffitt)"
I guess it's actually happening. I'm getting married again. (39 days to go if anyone wants to help keep count)

Do you have them?

Yes, I have pre-wedding jitters. Battboy, on the other hand, is totally calm and at ease about the whole thing.

Preparations

We have our catering, and our cake and our photographer. Flowers are another matter. A word from the wise. Don't go shopping for wedding flowers around Valentine's Day. You'll meet with nothing but rudeness.

Lee's getting his suit on Thursday. I hope to pick up my dress and Casi's in about 2 weeks time. I'm phoning the hairdresser tonight. We are so underprepared. Is it any wonder I'm nervous?

On the first day of Valentine's my true love gave to me-

One piece of sexy lilac lingerie (cos I've been feeling frumpy since the birth), one gift set of bath salts etc (to soak in before putting on lingerie) and a beautiful gold necklace (just cos he loves me).

It never ends

Due to complications with Connor's birth I have to go back into hospital for an operation in 2 weeks time. I'm never ever ever having another baby. Connor is beautiful, and I'm glad I had him, but this past year has been utter hell.

On the work front

No real words written this week. I'm busy editing a story for the Swancon Short Story competition.

2005-02-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

Orright, guv?

Last night I dreamt with a cockney accent. Honestly, everytime I spoke I sounded like my mouth was full of mooshy peas and larrger.

Is there such thing as too much EastEnders?

But I'm not alone

I went to the mother's group yesterday and we got talking about how we spend the wee hours when it's just us, our breast and the baby, and one thing we all had in common was EastEnders (and sometimes Minder if the baby is playing up.)

A word count!

677 words written tonight. The baby's asleep and I decided to put in half an hour. I ended up doing half an hour of reading my work and then another half (or 'arf as we say in Albert Square) adding to it. I'm quietly pleased.

Surprised.

Speaking of accents. I was listening to the news on the radio this arvo and they were reporting on the police working to make sure some bikie gang doesn't set up shop in Perth. They were talking to some policeman who had the most yummy Irish accent. Now, I've always been a sucker for Irishmen. My second fiance, Sean, was Irish and I admit I loved the way he spoke. So there he was, killing me softly with his voice and I'm thinking, "This guy sounds divine." Then the radio announcer states "That was Detective Sean (Surname not given to protect the innocent, ie Me)". MY OLD FIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last I heard (17 years ago and about a month after I broke up with him due to his heavy handed tendancies) he was just joining the police force. Suddenly the killing me softly pun seems very appropriate.

Sean is the sort of guy you could imagine being a cop but not a detective.

Then I turned the tv on to see if he was there. And he was. Larger than life. Literally. Not the way I remember him at all. This is a guy who has seen more doughnuts than soccer balls lately.

2005-02-08T18:39:00.000+08:00

So sad.

Battboy went back to work yesterday. We've been together 24/7 for the past year and I have to say, I've really enjoyed it. You know you're in a winning situation when you actually enjoy being in someone's pocket. Lee and I have had a lot of fun over this 12 month period. We've written side by side, shared a lot of Sizzler 'work meetings' and generally gotten to know each other really well. He was with me during every ante-natal visit and was able to carry the burden when pregnancy pretty much laid me flat. I've missed him heaps the past two days and can't wait for the weekend. Co-dependency is NOT a bad thing!

So glad.

A year ago, I lost one of my best friends due to an argument that got out of hand. The other day we saw each other and both recognised the jolt of joy that shot through us. I emailed her, told her how much I missed her and how I would really like us to work things out. She emailed back and agreed that it was time to mend things and suggested Thursday. I can't wait.

So nervous.

I've decided to pop Connor into daycare for half a day a week so I can concentrate on my writing. I'm nervous about this partly because he's my baby and partly because he won't take a bottle. I have visions of him screaming for four hours until I pick him up. He'll be 12 weeks, the same age as Erin when she started at the same centre.

So rested.

Apart from a slight hiccup on Sunday Connor continues to sleep a 6 hour stretch during the night. He's on a new medicine for his reflux. I don't know if it's that, or age or what, but he's happier in just about everything. He will now happily lie on the floor for up to half an hour and play or stay in his rocker while I type (like I'm doing now) for up to an hour at a time. Being awake doesn't necessarily mean a crying fit anymore.

Naturally I spoke too soon and must go deal with my crying baby. Enjoy your week.

2005-02-06T07:20:00.000+08:00

Phew Part 2

On the subject of children toeing the line (see yesterday's blog).

I have my children staying for the weekend and I have to say, it's been wonderful. It's hard to believe that 4 weeks ago Casi and I were going toe to toe over visiting her friends (she wanted me to run her all the way to Cottesloe to see Stephanie, I wanted to keep her home with me for the three weeks of the school holidays as I don't see the kids often enough as it is. We agreed to meet half way which for her meant I do exactly as she wanted and for me meant she could see her friends but they had to come here. In the end she stayed here and didn't even call her friend. Anyway, I digress...) We were arguing and really going at it to the point where she called her father and asked him to pick her up. He wouldn't so Casi had to stay here and work things out. Amazingly enough, she wrote me a 10 page letter telling me how sorry she was for her behaviour, admitted she'd been awful just to keep the argument going and how much she loved me. I was stunned but mollified. After that we got along great guns and had a fantastic holiday.

And so the behaviour continues. Cassie's been lovely and, what's more, she's been really affectionate. She's constantly cuddling me and kissing me and being quite needy and I'm loving it. She's also, for the first time, displaying jealousy towards Erin. She actually pulled Erin away from me yesterday and snapped at her that she wanted a turn at hugging me.

And, naturally, Erin is getting quite jealous in return. Her tantrums and whinging have increased and she bursts into tears over the slightest provocation. I'm trying to share myself around with all the kids, so Erin just has to learn that I'm not her exclusive property. Cassie needs me at the moment and I'm happy to be there. I'm with Erin 24/7 and can give her quality as well as quantity time during the week.

Speaking of jealousy...

Aiden surprised us last week. His own good behaviour quotient had taken a dive and Battboy and I had had enough. He was rough with Connor and Erin and extremely snappy with Casi. He even tried to trip Cass while she was walking around with the baby. At this point we snapped. It was bad enough he was rude and violent, he had now put the baby in danger. We pulled him aside to give him a right earful.

Task completed, we then asked him the problem. I suspected jealousy, knowing that I'd given more time to Connor of late and that Aiden is quite a sensitive child.
"Are you jealous?" I asked him, ready to hug him and let him know I still loved him just as much as before.
"No."
Now one thing I pride myself on is that I can always tell when Aiden is lying. I'm never, ever wrong.
"You're lying, aren't you? Come on, you know I can read you, Aiden. Tell me the truth. Are you jealous?" I put on my concerned Mum voice and encouraged him with a smile. Lee sat closer to him to let him know we were there for him.
"Yes. Casi loves Connor more than she loves me."
Not the answer we were expecting.
It's true that Cass loves Connor and pretty much owns him from the moment we pick him up. He's her toy and her baby and Battboy and I don't get a look in. I only get him for feeds and Lee doesn't even get that. But does Cass love Aiden more than her?

Well, honestly, yes. As I pointed out to Aiden, Connor is cute and his age is still measured by the week. He gurgles at her and smiles and occasionally pukes all over her new bikini (the only time Lee does get his son back :)). He goes to sleep in her arms and grabs her hair. Why wouldn't she love him?
Aiden, on the other hand, is 12 and prepubescent and can be totally annoying. Okay, he doesn't puke on her, but he does hit her, kick her, yell at her, call her names, swears at her and on the whole is a brat. When he grabs her hair it isn't sweet but nasty. Why would she love him?

Now, I'm their mother and love all five children equally and always find them lovable no matter what their mood. Casi has no such claim and doesn't even bother trying.

In other words she's a little mother to Connor and a big sister to Aiden. I told him that Casi did love him, but that his behaviour continuously got her off side. I also told Cass how Aiden felt and she explained that yes she did love Connor more but for all the reasons I'd already outlined to Aiden. If his behaviour was more acceptable she'd love him more.
Nobody requires unconditional love from a sibling.

Which brings me onto a funny incident at the pool yesterday. I can't remember exactly what led up to it, (probably some witty remark made by Lee about the children). Casi turned to us and said "You two have to love me. It's unconditional." We both cracked up laughing. She really is amazing.

Who has all the fun?

Casi's dyed her hair a soft brownish red colour. It looks amazing. Who can we make blonde jokes to now?

Sunday night

Movie tonight with all the usual suspects and hopefully some new ones. You can tell we're in the science fiction scene. My loungeroom seems to have become a TARDIS, what with inexcess of 15 people showing up on occasion.

Tonight we're up for Ferris Bueller's Day Off, brought to you by your friendly, neighbourhood redhead, Kylie. We love you Kylie.

About Blake

Blake has been his usual, cheery, happy-elf self. He assimilates so easy, you'd swear he was half Borg. He really is my easy child.

Poor man

Battboy had an accident while at the pool yesterday. He went down the slide with Erin, came off it at full speed and hit his coccyx on the bottom of the pool. He's been in a lot of pain ever since. My poor darling. At least he hasn't been like the kids. He wanted Panadeine Forte for the pain rather than having me kiss it better :)

Enjoy this lovely day.

2005-02-05T18:26:00.000+08:00

Phew

It's funny how quickly things can change. Barely a week ago I was a very tired mummy who was having to get up every couple of hours to feed her newborn baby.

Suddenly, at 10 weeks old, Connor seems to have seen the light. Or the dark, really.

For the past three nights he has slept in excess of 6 and a 1/2 hours, allowing me to do the same. It's been bliss. I feel like I might be actually catching up after a year in slumber hell. Uni is not looking like such a bad idea and I'm actually getting enough energy to use my gym membership and do more housework than just the dishes and hang washing on the line.

Life's good.

Food, food everywhere

With eight weeks to go until the wedding, I decided to put Battboy and myself on the Liver Cleansing Diet. Out of all the diets I've ever tried this has been the most successful. While it's strict, it still provides all the nutrition I need to meet both mine and Connor's needs. I still have carbs, proteins and fats and can eat as much of each as I like. The only restrictions are that we're not allowed red meats (yes, Battboy that does include pork :)) alcohol or dairy products. We've been on it for a week now and have seven to go. This week and the final two weeks include chicken but it's not allowed in the middle four. We can, however, eat as much fish as we like. Fortunately we both like fish so it won't be a huge hardship.

Lee's really missing Sizzler and Pepsi Max. I'm hanging out for a wine. As a result, I've allowed us to have ONE item that we miss each Friday (No, it doesn't include a Big Mac). I chose a glass of wine. Battboy chose Pepsi. Next week I think I'll opt for a piece of chocolate.

I've also put Erin on an abbreviated version. She eats the same foods we do, but I do allow her a cup of milk each day.

Names

Ever since Battboy popped the question I've been in a bit of a quandry. Change my name or not change my name? I've been a Triffitt for fifteen years now and to tell the truth, I quite like the name. I share it with three of my children and, let's face it, it's a great name for a science fiction author.
But...
Lee will be my husband. I want to have the same name as him. Two of my children are Battersbys (although Connor spent three days as a Triffitt while I was in hospital) and as they're the children who live with me, it seems strange to hold a different name to them.

Battboy and I have talked about it on and off for the past year or so and I have come to a decision.

I will be changing my name after we marry both personally and professionally. I love Lee and I want to be his wife in all respects.

Which brings me to my next point.

A rose by any other name

I will want to change the title of my blog."Day of the Triffitt" will no longer be applicable so I need something new.

So if you have a suggestion leave it on Lee's message board.

My current fave is "Inside the Battcave".

Have fun and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

2005-02-02T06:07:00.000+08:00

How tired am I?

It's 6 am and I've been up for over an hour with the baby. I got up to feed him, switched the television on and settled in to watch EastEnders for the third time in 20 years. By 5:30 I was crying over the death of a character I don't even know and now am never likely to. I've really got to get some sleep.

I managed to get Connor to sleep about 20 minutes ago and just when it appears I might be able to go back to bed, Erin's risen. So much for that plan.

Have a nice day.

PS I hope Connor wakes up at 2 am tomorrow morning. I need to find out why Phil is being so hedgy about his 'arrangement' with Lisa. And will Laura's night out with the boys end in pregnancy? Naturally she'll say it's Ian's, but we all know he had a secret vasectomy during the last episode I watched :)

Gotta find Erin some breakfast.

2005-02-01T22:54:00.000+08:00

Bugger

Just wrote a huge blog filling in the last few days events, but my computer ate it, so I've switched to Battboy's computer and will now go through the highlights.

12 years ago from this moment...

I was waking Jon up so he could take me to hospital. Naturally the contractions stopped the moment I stepped in the building. They started up again at 6am the next morning and at 12:30pm (or thereabouts) Aiden was born.

I couldn't possibly beat that.

It's become my general practice to find out what Lee's word count is each day and then try to beat it. Today I went out and he managed 1400 words in my absence. I decided not to pressure myself and to stick to my 500 word goal. I couldn't always beat Battboy and besides, I have other important things to worry about at the moment. So I opened up "Red River", read it and changed bits and pieces before really getting into it. About 90 minutes later I decided to call it a night, called up my word count and was pleased to find it was:

1715!

There's heaps more I wrote about but my hand is sore from so much typing so I'm going to bed now.

Have a great week.

2005-01-28T21:27:00.000+08:00

Happiness is...

Gathering around the computer last night and checking out the photos from the holiday. It was loud, it was raucous, it was fun.

Sadness is...

Dropping the kids back at their father's house tonight. On the way home Erin asked, "Are you sad, mummy?"

2005-01-27T07:23:00.000+08:00

We're ba-ack!

The Triffbatt tribe are happy to announce their return home. Here are the highs and lows of what we got up to (anything I forget Battboy is sure to remember).

Day Zero

We arrive, after a long flight, and settle in to the university. We each have a room, but naturally Battboy and I share a single bed and put the baby to sleep in his pram with us. We order pizza from Dominoes and settle in with some tv watching. We try to suggest to the children that they should go to bed at Queensland time (2 hours ahead) but this just doesn't happen, nor does it happen at all during entire holiday. They do however quickly adjust to getting up according to Queensland time, so even though they're still going to bed about 9 pm Perth time, they're getting up at 4am Perth time. Lee and I are determined that this Queensland holiday will be better than the last one (I started to miscarry Connor last time)

Day One

We go to the Museum and find it a wonderful experience. Lee and I went on our last trip and are eager to share the experience with the children. Loaded up with bags, camera, video camera and pram, we head out. The exhibitions are great, the kids are well behaved, we take lots of photos. All in all, hours well spent. We decide to head over to the art gallery, do a kid and bag count and discover...

Our video camera is missing. After an hour of fruitless searching we realise it's useless. First lost, we can now classify it as stolen. The last we saw of it was when one of the children put it down when they went to the toilet. Someone obviously found it and decided to take it home with them. Will be phoning HBF today to see if we can claim it on our contents insurance. It's not losing the camera bothers us so much (although it bothers us alot), it's the memories. We'd recorded Connor's first roll over, Erin's birthday and a lot of other stuff that is now gone forever. Lee and I are devastated. The bag also contains all our film for the camera and the video dvds plus a roll we've already taken (Yes it's day one and we've already taken an entire roll)
We leave our details with the museum and art gallery and decide to head out to South Bank. Lee's fuming and I'm trying not to cry. The children are upset and the air is full of tension (and humidity). By the time we reach South Bank we're all snapping at each other and the holiday looks ruined.
Lee lets the four oldest children go on a ferris wheel ride while we discuss the situation. After a while we decide that we have too much holiday to go to let it us down. We go out for dinner.

Days Two onwards

A blur of what happened when. We did Warner Bros movie world, several trips into South Bank, the art gallery (we hated it but the kids had a good time), the Sciencentre (like Scitech but not as big. In many ways better), pancakes at the Manor (an old church in the City), and of course the awards.

Did I enjoy the awards? Very much so. I met up with many friends and acquaintances and got to press the flesh with many of today's leading sf writers and publishers. Met Paul Haines, whose controversial story "Hamlyn" got me into trouble when I published it in ASIM 11. A very dark story, it proved a little too much for some people's delicate sensibilities. Paul was lovely and we chatted for a while. I also met Trevor Stafford and was immediately taken with him (he brought me glasses of water and made sure I was comfortably seated with Connor while we talked).
And then there was Margo Lanagan. I had started Margo's collection "Black Juice" only two days before hand. The first story I read was "Singing My Sister Down". It took me about 20 minutes time to read, after which I put the book down, turned to Lee and said "Best story I've read in the past year." The last story to impress me so deeply was Stephen Dedman's "Never Seen By Waking Eyes". I absolutely loved Lanagan's story and couldn't stop thinking about it. For the first time in a very long time I forgot to be an editor and just read a story as a reader. So imagine my delight when I got to the awards and they announced it amongst the titles for "Best Young Adult". And it won! I was so happy because it truly was a brilliant story. The evening went on and finally the Golden Aurealis for Best Short Story was announced and Margo won that too. I couldn't have clapped any harder if I'd been a close personal friend of hers and apparently everyone agreed with me.
We went on to the cocktail party afterwards and I chatted with Margo for a while, complimenting her on the story and congratulating her on her win.

Did Lee enjoy the awards? Read his blog to find out.

Most popular person award on the night went to Connor. He was held, kissed, photographed with and cuddled by many of my heroes including Kim Wilkins, Sean Williams and Rob Hood. Unfortunately, by the end of the night, it all got overwhelming for his eight week old mind and he began to cry. And cry. And cry. I had to take him off, wrap him and hold him to calm him down. This was when the wonderful Trevor Stafford appeared to keep me company and make sure I was okay.

The other children were wonderful. Cassie dressed up for the event and was both beautiful and entertaining. She walked into the party and was immediately snapped up by the crowd. They loved her and many came over to meet her. I loved watching her working the room. I received comments and compliments on her all night (Including my personal favourite "I can't believe you have a teenage daughter :))

Erin and the boys also made their own fans in their own way. All in all the party was a success.

On another note

I bought my wedding shoes! I had to search the country for them, but eventually I found a beautiful pair of size 5 strappy sandals that I loved. Cassie also found her bridesmaid's shoes so we're almost set.

Movie World

A fantastic day that the kids enjoyed immensely. I got badly burnt on my chest, shoulders and back and Connor's face was half burnt (this all occured while breast feeding) but all in all we had a great day. Waiting for a bus home was murder. We didn't get a bus until nearly two hours after we left the park but once we were on the connecting train we were set. Dinner at Toscani's (quickly became our favourite eating place) then home for yet another late night in bed.

General impressions

At the time it seemed all we did was argue. The kids always seemed to be at each other. Cassie had a go at Lee and I for the way we parent Erin. Neither Lee nor myself believe in smacking, but a few times we had to resort to a quick smack to bring Erin into line. Cassie jumped all over us for it and pronounced that there were better ways to deal with the constant tantrums, rudeness and back chat. We asked her to give us an example. She didn't so we handed Erin over to Cass and said "You think you can do better, you show us." Yesterday morning Cassie handed her back and said "Sorry. You win. I can't deal with this any more."
On reflection though, it really was a good holiday. The kids were snappy and we did tell them off a fair bit, but on the whole they were well behaved and helpful. They helped carry a lot of stuff around Brisbane and helped clean the dorms whenever necessary. They had good manners and were generally delightful in their enthusiam.

Personal highlight.

Wedding shoes. That's one thing on our to-do list I can cross off. It may seem a little thing, but do you know how hard it is to find size 5 shoes in the adult section?

Personal lowlight.

The video camera. It was virtually brand new and held some wonderful memories. However, as I pointed out to Lee, I took hundreds of photos of Cassie as a baby, dozens of Aiden and a couple of Blake, and yet I have thousands of memories of all three of them.

Most trying thing

Sleeping in a single bed. I'll be phoning the chiropractor for an appointment as soon as I finish this. Lee and I are a mess. Our backs and necks are in terrible pain. Thank god we're back in our own bed with our chiro pillows.

Things I'd like to repeat

Shopping at Underworld. I bought the most gorgeous pair of heeled black ankle boots. Wicked and wonderful.

The Daikaiju film night watching Godzilla vs Mecha-Godzilla. The kids had a ball. I did find out I didn't make the Daikaiju anthology but I think the story will place well elsewhere. I think the reason it was rejected was because it fell more into the realm of fantasy rather than sf.

Meeting up with our friends such as Rob Hoge (the kids all fell in love with him), Robert Hood, Cat Sparks, Shane Cummings (an absolute sweety) and Ben Payne (whom I'd met once before and clicked with immediately)

Well, that's all for now. Have a great week.

Oh yeah. You know the first roll of film we'd taken? It turned up in the baby bag so it wasn't lost after all! Yay!!!!!

2005-01-16T06:06:00.000+08:00

Hello sunshine

It's 6am and I'm awake. Connor woke me at 10, which I expected, then 1 which I also expected. What I didn't expect was the fact that he didn't go back to bed until 3. Then woke at 4 and now here we are. Am I tired? Hell yes. Am I a little tetchy? Don't even go there. Half an hour and then I'm waking Battboy for the day shift. Oh, and we're supposed to be going out to the SF group in 3 hours. Hopefully I'll get a nap before we go.

New stresses

The wedding is 69 days away and we're starting to look at what needs doing. We've bought the paper for the invitations, found a font we like, decided what cake we want, and discussed writing a 'to-do' list. Last time it took Jon and I all of eight months to sort our wedding out. Lee and Sharon took a year. This time, due to the residency, pregnancy, newborn, Christmas/New Year and school holidays, Lee and I have pretty much allowed ourselves 10 weeks. Am I beginning to stress? Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!
Lee jokes that his job is to turn up on the day and say "I do". I'm beginning to wonder if this, in fact, isn't the wisest option. I, at least, have paid for my dress. Now to lose a little extra weight and have the dress adjusted.

Other people's stresses

My best friend Sharon got married in New Zealand on Boxing Day. She arrived two days before hand, organised the whole thing, MADE dresses for her bridesmaids, got them and herself ready and had a lovely wedding. She's doing it all over again here in Perth for her family and friends next weekend. Things are going wrong left, right and centre and she has a migraine. Little wonder. We're not going due to our Brisbane holiday which is very upsetting. Sharon and I have been best friends for nearly 11 years now and I hate that I'm going to miss such a big occasion. On the positive side (there's a positive side to everything in my life) Lee and I are taking the kids on a fantastic holiday to Qld.

Catching up

Caught up with an old friend yesterday. Catherine and I met in Darwin due to our then husbands working together at CSC. We both moved back to Perth in 2002 and maintained our friendship. We sort of got caught up in our own lives for a couple of years, but yesterday I dropped in on her unannounced. It was like we'd been together a week ago. She's also trying to break into the writing game and we spent most of our time together discussing our work. One thing we used to talk about was opening a book-cafe together and this came up again yesterday. It's something we'd both like to do and I could see us making a go of it.

On Writing

My goal of 500 words per day is ending up 1000 words every second day. I didn't get to write at all yesterday due to a trip into Subiaco for invitation paper in the morning and visits to Sharon's and Catherine's in the arvo. Hopefully I'll steal some time later and catch up.

Time off for good behaviour

Every day Lee makes sure I get me time, time to write, to go to the gym, to be away from all the children. Yesterday I returned the favour by taking the kids out for the afternoon from 12 - 6. He is so thoughtful and considerate of my needs, I wanted to give him the same space. He wrote nearly a thousand words and cooked dinner so in my opinion it was time well spent.

Time to wake up Battboy. Have a great week,

2005-01-11T08:57:00.000+08:00

Oh happy day!

What a wonderful morning. Not only has Lee sold his short story collection but... wait for it...I got back into a pair of jeans!

There will be much celebrating in the Triffbatt household today (just as soon as I get back from the gym.

The little things in life ARE often the best.

Have a luvverly day.

2005-01-10T18:08:00.000+08:00

Avagoodweekend

Lots of visitors, lots of children, lots of food. All in all we had a fun weekend.

Battboy and I went to Ngala on Friday to get some help with Connor and his sleeping habits. Someone mentioned 'silent reflux'. After hearing the symptoms we thought 'this sounds familiar'. Saturday morning we went to the chemist and obtained a bottle of Infacol and started dosing Connor. We now have a different baby. The effect was immediate and last night the Battbaby slept 6 hours. Unfortunately, due to the late night, Lee and I slept only 3 of those hours. But still, I was anticipating a lot worse. He's become easier to settle, doesn't cry as much and sleeps longer. It's early days, but we're hoping that this heralds an easier time.

Grooving along.

I started a new story the other day, tentatively titled "Red River." Judging by how the story is moving along, I don't think the title will stick, but it will do for now. The story is in my head, complete and is likely to be a novella. I'm really excited by how its going. The characters are strong and the plot is working for me. I'm a happy writah-gal.

Sibling Rivalry

Connor is currently having nakie-time in the loungeroom. It's hard to tell he's naked. His brothers and older sister are currently draped all over him blowing raspberries on his tummy. Sometimes I think Casi thinks the only good thing I've ever done is give her a baby brother to play with. She absolutely mothers Connor, from the moment she walks in until she leaves.

Breakfast

We took the kids to McDonalds for breakfast this morning. We usually do this on a Sunday, but yesterday was busy so we did it today instead. Casi used it as an opportunity to tell me she only has unhappy memories with me and no good ones. This broke my heart and I've felt sick to my stomach all day. If Casi knew what I'd been through with my parents, I don't think she'd abuse her own so much. I proceeded to remind her of all I'd done with and for her during our years together but I don't think it makes any difference. She has one memory she holds against me and has closed her mind to all the good times. I know I was a loving, caring, kind and attentive mother. I just don't know why she doesn't appreciate the fact. Once again I'm thinking of moving to Queensland. Everytime the subject has come up I think of the kids and it just looks impossible, but why do I stick around when Cass doesn't feel bonded with me? One simple answer. No matter how badly they treat me, I love those kids to pieces and it would kill me to be away from them.

Sigh.

On a funnier note. Casi just picked the nakie-boy up and he peed all over her. I'll calm down in a minute.

Enjoy your week.

2005-01-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

Once more a short one

Connor's asleep so Battboy and I are heading for bed. Last night was a night from hell. I fed Battbaby at 9:30 in the hope that he'd sleep til about 2ish, but no, he woke up at 12:03 and refused to return to sleep until about 3:30. And he screamed the whole time. Lee got out of bed about 2 to help me. Thank god, I don't know what I would have done without him. An hour and a half later, the screaming starts again. I got up, took two panadol for the raging headache that had plagued me for 12 hours and thought I'd feed him, look after him and then get Lee up at 6:30. Within 15 minutes the panadol had kicked in and I collapsed. I mean I literally passed out. Thankfully, I was lying on the bed feeding at the time, so Lee took care of the baby until I awoke at 10:30. I'd expressed some milk the night before, so my hero used that to keep him at bay.

After the horrendous pregnancy, I hate complaining about the baby, but Connor's sleeping habits are killing us. I slumped into a deep depression all day, which was only alleviated by a trip to the gym at 4pm. The panadol are making no impact upon the headache. But hopefully my chiropractor will.

I admitted defeat and phoned Ngala and we're off tomorrow to learn some sleeping strategies, and are enrolled in a Parenting Education course on Wednesday.
Some days I feel like the world's worst mother.

Give a little bit...

I finished work on A Whisper in the House of Angels yesterday and asked Lee to read it. A lot of my own personal experience went into the story, so I really felt exposed as I handed it to him. Lee is the most compassionate and loving person I've ever met and quickly alleviated my fears.

Words

566 words written on a review for ASIM today. Still achieving goals, even if my little darling makes it incredibly hard.

Finally

The kids arrive tomorrow. I can't wait. Three weeks is way too long. My mum is coming down for a visit on Saturday, to see Connor and the kids. She does this every couple of years. Most of the time she doesn't even realise my children and I exist and then suddenly she'll announce a visit. Despite the inherent bitchiness of this paragraph, I am looking forward to seeing her. Mum has been responsible for a lot of pain in my life, but she is my mum and I do love her. I'm fortunate in that she's embraced Erin as her granddaughter, and gives her as much attention as she does the others (which admittedly isn't much, but it is something.)

2005-01-04T21:55:00.000+08:00

Short and sweet

A quick blog before bedtime (Connor's asleep which means we should be too).

I'm so very proud of my honey. I'm not going to go into detail here because generally people jump from one blog to the other and I don't want to rain on his parade, but I'm so very pleased with all he's achieved this year, which is huge considering we're only 4 days in. Well done, my love. I'm proud of you.

First milestone

The Battbaby is now 5 1/2 weeks old and I've been worried because he seems delayed in his smiling (generally a 4 week milestone). Well, after a few "did he, or didn't he?"'s we finally cracked it today. Well, Lee did anyway. He was playing with Connor on the bed while I put out my 500 words (573 to be exact) when he was rewarded with a smile. He called me in and sure enough Connor gave a repeat performance. We were so excited.

Wedding preparation Part One.

I joined Fitness First Health Club today. I have 81 days in which to get into my wedding dress, so I decided that some serious work was in order. I can't wait for tomorrow when I get to step onto a treadmill again.

That's it. I'm tired and need my rest. Take care and enjoy your week.

2005-01-02T21:46:00.000+08:00

Another one bites the dust

I found out the results for last year's unit. I received a Distinction. Woohoo to me! I achieved that despite a troublesome pregnancy, a spirited toddler, a house move and a busy writer-partner. Am I pleased with myself? Hell, yes! Only two more first year units to go. This semester I'm tackling "The Search for Meaning." It'll be interesting to see how it goes when I have a baby in tow.

Thank you

A big thanks to the ASIM crew for the lovely dragon they gave to Connor. We visited Sally and Dave today and received this wonderful present. Lee and I are not teddy fans, so the dragon was right up our alley. I really enjoyed my time at ASIM. We were a community within the community, so it was nice to realise I'd meant as much to them as they do to me. They also announced Connor's birth in ASIM 16 which was lucky cos we forgot to put one in the paper :)

Goals

Lee and I set ourselves the task of writing 500 words per day. I'm pleased to announce that it's day 2 and we've both achieved it so far.

Wherefore art thou? (A minor rant)

I've been trying to contact my children for several days now as three weeks is way too long to go without speaking to them. So far I've tried their home number, Cassie's mobile and Jon's mobile without success. By today I was beginning to wonder if they'd left the country without telling me. Yes, I truly was panicking. Now, since I always tell my dear ex what we're up to so he has some knowledge of where our children are at any given time, I would have thought he'd pay the same courtesy. But no. For some reason he thinks it's perfectly reasonable to take off without telling me. Apparently they've gone camping in Busselton and won't be back til Tuesday. How did I find this out? I phoned his dad who informed me of their plans. I don't expect Jon to give me details about all his movements, but I would have thought a trip of over 300 kilometres would have been worth mentioning even if it was "We're going away for a few days and you won't be able to contact the kids."
Humph.

And now for a rave

I'd just like to say a big "thanks" and give hugs and kisses to both Callisto and Ju for the beautiful things they said about me on their LJ's. I love you both very much and you've come to mean the world to me. I treasure your friendship and feel that my life has been enriched by the experience of knowing you. Calli, you're an amazing woman and you've taught me that it's okay to reveal your inner strength. Ju, you're warm and sweet and sensitive and have made it possible for me to laugh at my inner child. I also enjoyed our conversation the other night. I feel we get each other and have probably shared similar life experiences. Stay happy and true to yourselves. You both know where I am when you need a friend.

Take care one and all.

2005-01-01T07:02:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!

Top 10 Reasons why 2005 promises to be a better year than 2004

10. I will finally finish the first year of my degree (I started in 2000)
09. I won't lose any best friends (out of the three I started 2004 with, I now only have 1 left and we seem pretty secure. Although, I do have to tell her that I won't be attending her pseudo-wedding this month. Hmmm, maybe it's too early to say that :))
08. Lee will finish his novel and send it to a publisher.
07. Lee and I will spend it in our own home and not pay someone else's mortgage.
06. I will get my figure back. I WILL get my figure back. I'm joining a gym next week and the three of us embark on a new eating plan starting today.
05. Battboy's court case will be over, one way or another and he will finally be able to look forward to his future. It's not that I expect him to forget his past, but I do want him to feel secure and happy about where he's heading. The court case has prevented that to a large extent.
04. Pregnancy is over so it will be a relatively pain-free year and Lee won't constantly be worried about my health (which is sort of related to 5.).
03. Lee and I will have taken all the children on a fabulous holiday to Brissie. Whether Lee wins an Aurealis or not, at least we'll have had a fun time.
02. Jon won't be able to hurt me. He took my kids last year. What more can he possibly do?
01. Lee and I are getting married. (85 days to go. See number 6)

Top 10 things that happened in 2004

10. Memory of Breathing was accepted by Sally Beasley for ASIM 18 (but moved to ASIM 17)
09. Lee put his fear of losing me aside and agreed to have a baby.
08. Watching Battboy and the older children bond over Invader Zim.
07. Finished another unit towards my degree and received a High Distinction for one of my assignments.
06. Lee and I made many new friends such as Adrian and Michelle Bedford, Ju and Kenada, Sheldon, Kylie and PRK and Torrie as well as strengthened our friendship with Chesh and Calli.
05. Watching "Chances" on our Bad Movie Night. (Vitamin E cream, snicker snicker)
04. Lee and I spent the whole year in each other's company and found that not only do we love each other, but we really like each other as well.
03. We had our engagement party in January which was the best fun.
02. I fell pregnant to the man I love after only trying for about a week.
01. Connor was born.

We hope everyone is able to look back on 2004 with fondness and anticipate a happy 2005!

2004-12-27T14:56:00.000+08:00

Christmas

Everyone tells me that Christmas is all about the children. So can anyone explain the sheer joy that plastered itself all over Lee's beautiful face on Saturday morning? Could it have anything to do with the 1/1oth scale replica of the Tardis that he received from the Triffbatt tribe? It was a sight to behold.

Christmas in our household was a success and all due to my lovely fiance. Battboy was responsible for most of the presents and the good cheer as I was pretty occupied during the final countdown. I've never made any secret of the fact that I find the festive season to be rather Bah Humbuggish, but even I enjoyed the sense of family unity and happiness that Lee created over the past few days. Every present went down a treat. Cassie received a portable CD player, ear phones, two CD's she'd gone on about (hence the ear phones), her stocking and, joy of joys, a Paul Frank beach towel. She so loved this present, she wrapped it around herself and wore it like a sarong all day.

We treated the boys with Invader Zim series 1 and 2, posters, a beach towel each, their stockings and alien figurines for the B-Boy and a book of Agatha Christie short stories for Aiden.

Erin received a personalised Winnie the Pooh knife and fork set, a Winnie the Pooh video, a puzzle, a short and t-shirt outfit, her stocking and a train set. Erin spent the morning receiving her prezzie, unwrapping it and then putting it aside before saying "I want another one, please." At least she remembered her manners.

I unwrapped Connor's presents which featured a Tigger activity centre and a ball rattle. No stocking this year as he can't eat lollies.

I had taken the kids shopping earlier in the month for Lee's present. They chose a book from Dr Karl and the aforementioned Tardis. I bought him "The Name of the Rose" DVD. He seemed quite taken with his presents, hence the joy.

And now for me. Lee and the children were most generous and gave me, Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (kids), candles (kids) and a beautiful candlabra (or however it's spelt and also: kids) as well as "Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell" by Susannah Clarke (Battboy) and the complete series of "Men Behaving Badly" on DVD (Battboy). I was one particularly happy Ms Scrooge.

Talking of which... (and I digress)

I filled in Connor's Birth Registration last week. For the first time I titled myself as Ms Triffitt. Up until then I kept to Mrs. I guess it was about time, but it was strange. Oh well, only 3 more months and I'll be a Mrs again. Lyn Battersby. I already have my signature sorted. Now for the wedding day.

And while I'm on the subject.

My best friend, Sharon, got married yesterday in New Zealand. She's confirming her vows here in Australia on the 23rd January. Unfortunately, I'll be in Queensland. Such a pity, but the plane tickets are already paid for.

Now, back to Christmas.

Anyway, between cool presents, a fantastic family brekkie of pancakes, lunch at my brothers and a quiet Christmas night, and a lovely Boxing Day with the extended Battfamily, we had a lovely day and I'm quite eager to repeat the experience next year.

Next year I'd like...

Connor to have slept through on the night before.

Another sidebar...

Connor and Christmas were not a happy match. I had a beer on Christmas Day and Connor was up crying with pain all night. Boxing Day didn't see much improvement. I made up some bottles, and had two glasses of wine. Deciding that two glasses wouldn't affect my milk too much, I gave him one bottle of formula then gave him breast milk for the rest of the day. Another pain-filled night followed and a lot of vomiting this morning. I don't know if it was the formula (both Aiden and Blake were allergic to cow's milk formula at this age) or the drinking, but I've decided to play it safe and stay away from both from now on.
Which should make my hen's night a lot of fun.

One final word...

My sister-in-law Amanda makes great trifle.

2004-12-21T07:35:00.000+08:00

Warning: I've posted twice today, so keep going when you finish reading this bit!!!

A year in retrospect.

I took this off Martin Living's Live Journal. I love these things, so decided to answer it and managed to surprise myself with many of the answers.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Edited an entire issue of a magazine. Edited issue 11 of ASIM.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Surprisingly enough, I kept many of them. I’m quite pleased with what I achieved from my list. Lee and I wrote our 2005 resolutions while we were on holiday. They include writing a novel and losing weight.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me! My fourth, Lee’s second, our first together and our fifth in total.
And my sister-in-law Donna gave birth to my niece Grace Lily Kiely. She and my brother Raymond asked if they could use Lily because they knew it was my favourite girl’s name (and that Lee didn’t want it for our daughter if our baby turned out to be a girl)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
More like country towns rather than countries.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Sleep. Erin’s not a good sleeper and Connor’s only 3 ½ weeks old. My pregnancy was awful so sleep wasn’t high on the agenda.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
26th November 2004, the day Connor James Battersby was born.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Convincing Lee to let me fall pregnant.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not making it a good pregnancy. Lee had enough worries going into pregnancy. The fact that it turned out so awful only made his stress worse and I hate that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
An operation in February during which they found I had a severe infection in my pelvis. Nearly miscarried in April/May/June. Took a fall and fractured and twisted my pelvic bone 16 weeks into my pregnancy. Pain associated started at 22 weeks and didn’t let up until 3 days before I gave birth.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The recent trip to Albany. Lee and I both really needed the break and a few days away was just the thing.
And my laptop.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Lee’s. He was so terrified about getting me pregnant, but he put his fears aside and agreed to try because he knew how much it meant to me. I am so proud of Lee for this alone, but his subsequent behaviour during the pregnancy, labour and since has proven that my darling is a man of courage and fortitude. I am truly blessed by having him in my life.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My daughter Cassie ran away from home (she lives with her dad). It made depressed to think she was so unhappy and appalled in the knowledge that she didn’t come to me but went to a friend instead.

14. Where did most of your money go?
That’s a question I keep asking myself actually J We received money from various sources this year and managed to pay off a whole lot of debts, buy a laptop, buy the world’s biggest cubby house/fort for the kids, lots of DVD’s, a rocking chair, my wedding dress, Cassie’s bridesmaid’s dress. We bought a lot. One of the things I love about Battboy is that he’s not stingey with money. We don’t have a savings account per se (apart from the wedding account) but we have stuff which is nice.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Finding my wedding dress.
Seeing those two lines appear on the pregnancy test.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
A tough one. There have been so many good songs I’ve listened to this year, it’d be impossible to pin one down. Pretty much anything on my “We’re having a baby” compilation because I listened to it so often when pregnant. If I had to choose one it would actually be “Getting away with it (All messed up)” by James because a) I love it and b) Erin is so cute when she tries to sing along with it. (It’s quite disturbing to see a 2 year old singing a song about suicide)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
About the same but for different reasons. This time last year Lee had just moved in with me, and we were organising our engagement party. This year we have Connor.
On the flip side, this time last year, my two sons lived with me. It still distresses me that I lost them. Having a baby doesn’t change that.
ii. thinner or fatter?
Weeeeell! I’m about 5 kgs heavier than this time last year, but I’m 14 kgs lighter than I was this time last month, so I consider that pretty much an improvement.
iii. richer or poorer?
Richer, but not for much longer. Emotionally richer. Lee enriches my life in so many ways.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing and selling. Exercise.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating meals out. Lee and I can’t help ourselves. We love to eat out.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Sober. I’m breast-feeding. We pick the kids up Xmas Eve, wake up with them Xmas Day, prezzies then off to my brothers for a late lunch. Jon’s picking them up Xmas arvo.
Boxing Day will be here with Lee’s family.

21. What LJ users did you meet for the first time?
Ju, Splanky and Torrie.

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Every time I look at Lee I fall in love with him again. I miss him hugely every time he goes out (even if it’s just to the shops) and still feel excited every time I hear the key in the lock.

23. How many one-night stands?
Does it count if we’re “affectionate” in a myriad of different ways over and over again?

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Big Brother, simply because it gave me an opportunity to get to know Cheshire, Callisto, Ju, Kaneda and Kylie a lot better. They’ve ended up being my closest friends as a result.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don’t hate anyone ever, but I did lose one of my best-friends due to her narrow-mindedness, so I lost respect for her.

26. What was the best book you read?
I only read three complete novels this year. I read a lot of short stories and of course I slushed for ASIM and Ticonderoga Online. “The Time-Travellers Wife” by Audrey Nilfenegger was my favourite novel, although I may be cheating because I received it for Xmas last year and I think I’d finished it by New Year. If that’s the case then I only read two novels, and Quentins by Maeve Binchy was my fave (and again I’m cheating because I still have a bit to go.)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Nothing really. I’d like to say Warren Zevon, but I discovered him late last year. God, but he’s fantastic. I rediscovered a few songs this year, such as Run, Run Away by Slade and 3 Little Pigs by Green Jelly.

28. What did you want and get?
A baby.

29. What did you want and not get?
My children to live with me. Particularly Aiden who actually wants to live with me.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
“Love, Actually.”

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I celebrated turning 35 by having lunch at Fasta Pasta with about 30 friends. It was a blast.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?Selling my second favourite story “Lily’s Song”. So many editors say they really like it, but there’s always a “but…” I just can’t seem to place it in the paying market (I did have someone ask if they could publish it in a non-paying one but I refused).

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Maternal. Generally maternity pants and tight top that showed my stomach.

34. What kept you sane?
Erin in many respects. Losing my children was the most horrendous thing to happen, but looking after Erin and her needs reminded me that I AM a brilliant mother. She really helped me cope at a time when I just wanted to close the door on the world and never open it again.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
This answer never changes. Michael T Weiss of course.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Politics never stirs me. I got to vote for the first time though. Oh, I should have made that my answer to question 1!

37. Who did you miss?
My ex-best friends Terri and Karen. Terri had to stop being my friend when I left my religion. Karen and I stopped being friends when her son assaulted mine.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Adrian Bedford and his wife Michelle. These are two of the nicest people you will ever meet. Lee and I love them. At least I think I met them this year. If not, then Ju. She’s fun and generous and thoughtful.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
Ex-husbands don’t make for the best judge of character.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. John Lennon, “Beautiful Boy” (I think)

2004-12-21T05:20:00.000+08:00

Unto us a child is born

Lee and I had our first real attempt at shopping post-baby today. Next time, we'll do it without Connor. The heir-apparent decided that our pre-Christmas stress levels weren't high enough, so he decided to add his two cents worth. The crying started from the moment we entered Woolworths until 15 minutes later when I took him out for a(nother) feed. Naturally he stopped the minute I sat down. I fed him, made sure he was burped, then ventured back into Woolworths to track down the hunter in our relationship. We found him in the dairy aisle. His little Lordship found his lungs again at the same time. Valiantly we pushed on, determined to buy the multivarious items needed to make Christmas and Boxing Day a time to remember. We gave up about 7 minutes later, leaving with little more than 4 chickens, a packet of peanuts and the ubiquitous pack of nappies.

On nappies

Connors gone up a size! Is it any wonder, given the amount he drinks????? It's beginning to look like we're plumping him up for Christmas :) You know, there's a reason we used to refer to him as Nemo. He drinks like a ...

How's the serenity?

It was an Erin Free Weekend and Battboy and I decided we needed a break and Albany was just the place for it. We took off for a long weekend, leaving on Friday night and coming home last night. Connor was conceived in Albany, so we booked ourselves into the Ace Motor Inn, where we stayed last time and allowed ourselves 2 days of total relaxation. We enjoyed the spa in our room, but unfortunately not together, as Connor kept one of us busy while the other relaxed. We spent Saturday buying soft toys for the Battbrat (a sword fish) and Battbaby (a bright striped fish that he loves) and various other bits and pieces for ourselves. Sunday we spent in bed, or should I say, on the bed, both of us reading totally non-Science Fiction books with Connor between us either napping or staring at his new fish. Soccer was on in the background. It was a totally perfect day.

Outcome

Lee came home more relaxed than I've seen him in the better part of a year and I came home with 3 short story ideas that I'm going to start on the minute I find time (and a spare hand). Note to all pregnant writers out there. It's impossible to breastfeed and type at the same time. Hint: Invest in a dictaphone until the baby is 2. Both us feel ready to face the housework, although Connor makes it a bit difficult for me to actually participate. Today I've only managed to put two loads of washing in the machine and on the line, give Erin quality mummy-time before child-care, two loads of dishes in the dishwasher (Lee bought me one last week. Yay!) do a smigeon of shopping, feed the Battbaby 15 times, clean half the kitchen and unpack half the clothes from our holiday. Lee is currently cleaning the dining room and study. It looks heaps better already. We're hosting Boxing Day this year for the Battfamily and have set that day as our goal for having everything ready.

Speaking of which

I've slacked off enough now. Connor is still asleep and I should use the time to finish something! Have a great week.

Back the truck up!

Huge news. We're off to Queensland in January and we're taking the tribe. Lee's up for an Aurealis so we decided, why not? We can't wait. I'm so proud of Lee. Win or not, he works so hard on his writing and it's nice he's being recognised for it. His story, Tales of Nireym, is up for Best Fantasy story.

Congrats...

To Adrian Bedford. His novel Orbital Burn is up for Best Science Fiction Novel.
To Stephen Dedman. His Twilight of the Idols has been nominated for Best Horror Short Story and Desiree for Best Science Fiction Short Story.
And to everyone else listed on the Aurealis Awards page. Well done!

Just a reminder...

My fave short story (that I've written) The Memory of Breathing is appearing in ASIM 17 (edited by Sally Beasley) which is due out in February.

Okay, now I really must go. Take care.

2004-12-10T13:06:00.000+08:00

There's life, Jim, but not as we know it

It's hot, we're running around all over the shop in preparation for Christmas and Connor has thrush in his mouth. All this adds up to one thing in his 25cm wide universe. Lots of feeding. Feeds have gone from 3 hourly to 2, to one and a half.

Am I tired? Hell, yes. And sore. That thrush has been transferred to me as well through the act of feeding. Feeding has become quite painful and we both have to be treated.

Lee took a go of feeding my expressed milk to the crown prince a few nights ago so I could get some rest. I'd expressed about 60 mls, which is supposedly twice as much as a newborn needs. Not so. He drained that in quick time, then set up for some more. I had to get up anyway to finish him off and he still took half an hour. I very nearly gave up breast feeding that night, especially as he demanded another feed 2 1/2 hours later.
The next day I bought some formula, figuring one night of bottle feeds wouldn't kill him. I got up, gave him the formula and waited to see if he slept any better. Nope, he still woke up 2 1/2 hours after the first one and refused the second bottle of formula. Obviously my milk is not only good enough for him, but he actively prefers it.

So I'm tired and sore, but still happy in my role as Connor's mummy. I do enjoy the act of feeding him, even if it does hurt. The only thing that annoys me is that I became aware of the thrush on Saturday night. I was just starting to get sore and I noticed the white bits on Connor's tongue. I showed the visiting mid-wife on Sunday morning when she came for our check up. She dismissed my claim of thrush and told me I obviously had a latching problem at night. I was doubtful but remained quiet. After all, it's been 10 years since my last breastfeeding experience. Maybe I wasn't doing it properly.

Two days later the doctor confirmed the thrush and gave me Nilstat for Connor and Canesten for myself. If the midwife had listened to me, I could have started treatment two days earlier. It also acts as a reminder to me to have faith in myself and my knowledge/instincts.

No longer such a weighty problem

I developed an eating disorder when I was eighteen. As a result, I still tend to view myself as fat and spend a lot of time exercising and dieting. Pregnancy is hell for me as I cringe every time I see the scales tip up and my clothes become tight. Being an intelligent and sensible woman, I'm able to get past this little problem by reminding myself that I'm carrying a baby, not fat, and that it's normal to put weight on.
I put 14 kilos on with this pregnancy, which is totally normal. With the wedding happening in 3 and a half months, I figured I'd be able to get rid of about 10 of those kilos by eating sensibly, breastfeeding, and walking.
So imagine my surprise (and joy) when I weighed myself on day 12 and found I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight. Yay! Now, if I still follow my plan and lose the 10 kilos I'll be back to my pre-engagement weight too.

THAT time of the year

As an ex-Jehovah's Witness, there's still a strong part of me that says "Bah, humbug" every time the subject of Christmas comes up. I still feel guilty for wondering what to buy, whose house we're going to when, and for enjoying the tinny strains of "The Little Drummer Boy" as they wend their way through Carousel shopping centre.

This year Christmas Day will be spent with the kids at my brother's. That's somewhat cool. We did the same thing last year. This year, however we're taking the whole thing up a notch. We're hosting the Battersby Christmas experience on Boxing Day. Yes, I'm post-natal, I'm tired and I don't even like the day in question. I have made it known however that I'm doing nothing (apart from stuffing and roasting several chickens) towards the day except sit on my banana lounge and feed the baby.

And to top it all off, we're on the look out for a store-Santa so Connor can have his first Christmas memorialised.

So we're celebrating Christmas Day twice. With this in mind, and knowing his family's view on Christmas (it must be celebrated on the 25th) I offered my ex-husband (who has the children Boxing Day this year) the opportunity of having the kids on the day instead as I don't mind which day I have them this year. They love my brother and he has a pool, and they love Lee's brother and he has a son of their age, so either day suited me fine. I made the offer and received a rather terse "Obviously my family have organised months ago to meet on Boxing Day this year." As if we hadn't. Despite suffering the pregnancy from hell and having a baby close to the season, I was so together, I organised both days!

Christmas Shopping has been fun though. Cassie and Erin are ridiculously easy to buy for, Aiden and Blake terribly difficult. Connor's also easy as he won't be casting his eye over everyone else's present and working out who got the better deal.

Lee and I have decided that after a year of giving each other everything we want (including a real, live, in the flesh baby), we're going to treat ourselves to a Christmas holiday rather than presents, which we'll be taking next weekend. I don't have the kids and Erin is away, so we're packing the Battbaby up and heading off to Albany for a long weekend. We love Albany and seriously considered the prospect of moving there the last time we visited. Last time we stayed at the Ace Motor Inn. The service and room was excellent. We had a spa and the hotel let us take our cheese board and bottle of wine back to our room to be enjoyed in said spa. We've decided to stay there again. I phoned the other day to make the booking.
"Have you stayed here before?" the lovely receptionist asked.
"Yes, nine months ago, in early March."
"You have a good memory for dates."
"Not really. I know it was nine months ago, because we brought the resulting baby home from hospital last week."
The already exemplary service went up even further.

Okay, that's enough. Have a fun weekend. We're off to the zoo and Calli's birthday party and we have the kids, so I know we will. Take care.

2004-12-06T14:00:00.000+08:00

Quick post (Or: I'm A Sucker For Jumping On a Band Wagon)

I've done one of those quiz thinggies (because sleeping is too logical a thing to do while the baby's asleep). http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=041205085555-504692

Try it out.

2004-12-05T12:08:00.000+08:00

Finally, a minute to myself

Lee's watching the soccer, the youngest two are sleeping, and the older three are colouring in, so I finally have a bit of time to blog.

Yes, I'm home, I'm bump-free, pain-free, my family are all around me and I'm happy.

I've decided to write a list of twos about the events leading up to and arising from Connor's birth. Two things for each heading, two against.

Pregnancy.
For.
1. The man I love was finally able to overcome his fears in order to get me pregnant.
2. It didn't take long to fall once the decision was made. I had an operation, went off to Albany to recuperate, and hey Presto! conception.

Against.
1. If you're a regular reader of my blog, you know the answer to this. The pelvis. Always the pelvis.
2. Lee and I had only just had a discussion that went:
"I still don't feel totally well at the moment. The operation took a lot out of me. I'm tired and nauseous and my tummy still aches. Maybe we should postpone pregnancy for a few months."
"I agree. Your health is too important to jeopardise."
"Okay."

But not really an against because two days later:
"I'm pregnant."
"That's wonderful!!!!!"
"I know!!!!!!"

Induction
For.
1. It helped my body go into labour. Breaking my waters wasn't enough.
2. It made the contractions stronger, quicker.

Against.
1. I couldn't use hot water as pain relief as I was strapped to machines.
2. It made the contractions stronger, quicker.

Labour.
For.
1. It was short. 3 1/2 hours made it my shortest yet. In all, I've gone through 17 1/2 hours between the four births.
2. No more pain. (Even though I'd been told by three different doctors that my pelvis would be bad for another 3-18 months) I love my chiropractor

Against.
1. It hurt. A lot. Excrutiating in fact. I took morphine about 20 minutes before Connor was born.
2. I became afraid at one stage and stopped pushing. This bruised Connor's eyes and the blue bits are ringed with red.

Giving birth.
For.
1. Connor. He's perfect and he's ours and no one can ever take him away from me. I love him to pieces.
2. The look on Lee's face as I gave birth. He watched the whole thing and was amazed. He just kept telling me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me. Lee was wonderful during labour. He said and did all the right things. I had Sharon along as a back-up support person, to be there for Lee if he found it too hard. Lee was perfect. Sharon nearly fainted.

Against.
1. Lee had to leave about an hour after the birth to pick the kids up. I hated that, especially as he didn't end up picking them up after all.
2. I went into shock and couldn't stop shaking. This frightened Lee, but some warm blankets eventually helped.

Breastfeeding.
For.
1. I get to do something with my son that nobody else can.
2. Just looking at him makes me let-down.

Against.
1. Dolly Parton's breasts spent three days vacationing on my chest (Lee couldn't see the problem with this).
2. Letting down while out shopping and having no spare breast pads.

The children's reactions.
For.
1. Aiden and Blake. Aiden's so maternal. He really loves Connor and is beautiful to watch. Both boys constantly ask to hold their brother.
2. The look on Erin's face when a doctor took Connor to check his jaundice. "Where you go my Connor?" she demanded. This broke the two days of anti-Connor behaviour that Erin had subjected us to. Things have improved somewhat since then.

Against.
1. Casi walking in and asking "You're still fat. When will it go?"
2. Erin saying "I don't like my new Connor" whenever she doesn't get her own way.

Coming home.
For.
1. Lee visibly relaxed on the drive home. He was bringing me and our son home and I could see how this was affecting him. Day Four saw him relax further. I was home and I was well, and for the first time he stopped worrying about me.
2. No one poking my stomach to see how high my fundus is.

Against.
Nothing. Being home is fantastic. Lee is very much a hands-on dad and is happy to do anything for Connor and Erin (and Casi, Aiden and Blake when they're here.)

Going out in public.
For.
1. Casi had a dance performance last night. Due to car-space constraints Lee dropped Connor and me off at Burswood so he could pick up the kids from school, drop Erin off with the sitter before dropping the kids at Burswood so Jon could pick them up. I found a nice soft sofa and sat down with Connor and a good book to wait. A retirement show was going on close by. Eventually the doors opened and about 300 pensioners shuffled out. They pretty much broke into groups before approaching me with the requisite "oohs" and "aahs" of the elderly. Each and every one of them stopped for a look, then declared him perfect, beautiful, an absolute angel. I was in Mummy heaven.
2. Lee and I went out for dinner before the performance. More positive comments ensued.

Against.
1. I wanted to buy a new top yesterday, one that flattered me instead of highlighting my post-baby tummy. I saw the perfect one at Susanne Grae's. Holding tight to my bundle of joy, I wandered in, grabbed the shirt and tripped off to find a change room. An old woman stopped me, grabbed my arm and asked, "How are you going to try that shirt on if you're holding the baby?"
"I have a padded change mat and a blanket in my back-pack," I replied (to which Lee says his reply would have been "%$#@ off and mind your own business.")
I found a change room, set Connor up and took my top off. Connor cried. Suddenly the curtain was whisked open and the old crow stood there, exposing me, topless to the entire shop. "Let me hold the baby," she demanded.
"Not likely," I yelled and pulled the curtains closed.
An assistant called out; "Can I take your baby?"
"No, you can not. I don't hand my children over to strangers and besides, I've finished."
I picked Connor up, opened the curtain and handed the top to assistant. "I'll be taking that."
She rang up the sale. "Is this your first?" (thereby implying I'm an inexperienced and thereby negligent mother)
"No, my fifth!" I snapped.
About four pairs of eyes swung in my direction. "Oh. I just assumed..."
"That because my baby was crying I didn't know what I was doing?"
"Ummm, no, I..."
"I know exactly what I'm doing. My oldest child is thirteen, so I've been doing it for a long time."
The eyes grew wide. "You don't look old enough."
"And yet I am."
I took my parcel and left.
The top looked great by the way.

2. I breastfed my baby in front of my ex-husband on Thursday. Not comfortable for me and I felt sorry for him. I know it isn't easy for Jon to see me in a domestic situation, but that would have been awful.

3. I'm adding an extra one. Casi was brilliant, her dancing wonderful, I was very proud. BUT. The music was extra loud, we had to move from the front to the back because we were worried about Connor's hearing and left as soon as Casi's bit was over. We missed the finale.

So, that's that. I'm happy now that pregnancy is over and Lee and I can move forward with our family.

Take care and have a great week

2004-11-26T22:39:00.000+08:00

AT LAST!

Hi everyone. Battboy here. Just wanted to tell you all that Lyn gave birth to our son Connor today. She'll have a lot to tell you when she comes back from the hospital, but you can get a few New-Daddy-Addled details from my blog until then.

2004-11-20T04:10:00.000+08:00

Happy to be of service

Lee and I took my boys to the movies yesterday to see "Polar Express". As I'm at a stage of not being able to walk, Lee left me in the car andran off to get a wheel chair from Centre Management. While I burst into fresh tears, this brought much entertainment value to Aiden and Blake. The second I was comfortably settled, the fight was on as to who was going to push me. Lee won, but I allowed the boys a go each while he visisted an ATM.

It was terrifying. My body was totally at the control of these two dervishes. I gave strict instructions as to where and how fast they could take me. Aiden is nearly 12, Blake is 10. Do you think they listened to me???? At least it stopped me crying :)

Worst service EVA!!!

We visited the chiropractor this morning then decided to have breakfast out after enduring one of the worst weeks of our lives. Fast Eddies was agreed upon. Fast Eddies, Carousel to be precise. The service was terrible. We were served by a waitress for whom English wasn't even a recognisable language let alone a second one (Lee ordered Nachos and was asked "Would you like anchovies with that?") After repeating our orders for the eighth time (Pancakes and Banana Smoothie for me, Nachos and Vanilla malted [or melted according to the waitress] milkshake for Battboy) we sat back and waited. Lee's Nachos and BANANA unma[e]lted milkshake arrived. Fifteen minutes later my pancakes followed, just as Lee's plate was being cleared away. The banana smoothie was in the blender as we paid. We refused to pay for our drinks and told them they had the worst service of any place we'd ever visited. "And we're never coming back" Lee snapped as the cashier stammered excuses.

Good cuppa joe

Furious and thirsty I dragged Battboy off to Gloria Jean's. My faith in the service industry was restored as I sat on their super-comfy chair and sipped my iced latte. Lee and I calmed down and even shared a laugh for the first time in a week. I love Gloria Jean's.

My chiropractor

Greg Marslen is the best chiro in the world. I can walk again, albeit very slowly and with a great deal of pain, but at least I can put one foot in front of the other. Literally. For a while there, I'd actually found the action of lifting my feet and placing them down too traumatic to contemplate, so in effect forgot how to walk. If you need a chiro, this is the one I'd recommend. I wish I could take him into the labour ward with me. My visits to him are the only thing that keeps me from slitting a vein (my big, beautiful, bleeds very easy veins). He also made a comment in passing that got my hopes up. As we were walking (yay, walking!) out he said "I'd like to see you in a week, but I don't think you'll make it." Since he'd just spent ten minutes manipulating my pelvis I felt he might have known something about the current state of play.

Polar Express

Don't see it unless you're aged between 4 and 8. We hated it, the boys were dismissive of it. No recognisable plot, more a tale of how clever some CGI guys consider themselves to be. Tom Hanks has one voice and about five parts. Not good in any one's language.

EFW

This is our last true Erin-Free Weekend. Usually we have no kids and a whole weekend for being a couple. The next one will see Connor in our lives. We're making the most of the break and shutting ourselves off from the world.

Home Improvements

My man has discovered Ikea and Bunnings. God help us. He thinks the best thing about Bunnings is that it's open all weekend. Funny, cos I think the worst thing about Bunnings is that it's open all weekend. I've become a DIY widow. And we're not even married yet :)

Have a fun weekend. I'm off to rest and put my feet up.

2004-11-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

Back on board...almost

Well after what amounted to pretty much a two day stay in hospital, I'm back home and on the road to recovery. Pretty much. Being hooked up to machines and having medical staff fussing over me was a pretty big wake up call as to how I've handled this pregnancy. Lee is forever telling me to sit down, rest, take a break, but there's always "one more thing". Right now I'm so full of needle holes that I've decided he (and the doctors) are right and I'm going to do nothing for the next two weeks. Just as soon as I've put that load of washing on the line...

Beautiful

Some women have lovely legs, others have a tight butt. I, on the other hand (or indeed both) have beautiful veins. When it comes to the medical profession, I'm the Marilyn Monroe of the venal world. They're blue, they're thick and they lie close to the surface of my skin. Doctors and nurses alike exclaim over the wonder of my veins. Students fall over themselves to practice their blood taking abilities upon me.

So why is it that, over those two days, I had two doctors utterly fail to put the drips in properly the first time? On Sunday afternoon the first doctor experienced the usual Big O while trying to hook me up but then mucked up. At least he apologised before trying his art out on another vein. On Monday morning the situation was a little more of an emergency. The second doctor didn't even use a local. She went straight in for the kill, with the strict instructions "don't move, don't flinch, stay right there," then got mad at me when I did indeed flinch. We hated her. The hatchet job was so bad that the sheets were soaked with blood, which was just what I needed to see in my condition.

One less thing to worry about

Connor's corner is done. It's amazing what a two day stay in hospital can accomplish. I came home to find that not only was our bedroom clean, but the bassinette and change table were set up and made (with required mobile purchased mounted) and the surrounding walls festooned with Winnie the Pooh stickers. Lee's done an amazing job. I feel so loved. I cried. (I've cried a lot over the past few days.)

Are we there yet?

37 weeks today. As of now, the baby is term. He can born now without any problems. I'm off to the hospital today for another growth scan. He really is too big. I'm beginning to think a caesarean will be ordered. My pelvic bone can no longer cope with carrying my body around, let alone pushing through a monster baby.

Take care and thank you to everyone who has emailed, phoned, left messages and visited (big apology and thanks to Ju). Lee and I have really appreciated your support over the past few days.

2004-11-14T01:31:00.000+08:00

Stupid

Yesterday I had a conversation with my ex-husband, assuring him that I wouldn't be going into labour this weekend so all the children's plans could go ahead as normal. After all I'm only 36 1/2 weeks. Plenty of time.

This morning I woke up at four am feeling panicky and energised. Five minutes later I had a contraction which left me feeling panicky and sick. Twenty five minutes later, another followed. I decided not to say anything to Battboy. He'd organised to go out today on a TV pilot shoot and I didn't want to ruin it for him. Besides, it was probably a false alarm. They were still mild and far apart. Nothing to worry about. I hoped.

At five fifteen we left the house for Grant's. I had another contraction which Lee picked up on. 11 minutes later and we had the next. Lee immediately headed for home, phoned Grant and put me to bed. Naturally the contractions stopped.

And now I feel very stupid and depressed. The contractions are back to their mild Braxton Hicks. I'm so disappointed for Lee. I know how much he was looking forward to this and I ruined it for him. Except I still can't shake the feeling that it's not long. I have a major headache and feel shaky and hot. And I'm doing everything I can to bring this baby on. Something's happening. I just don't think it'll be today after all.

Moments

I shared a beautiful moment with my oldest daughter the other day. Up til now Cassie has avoided touching my tummy, labelling the rolling mass as 'freaky'. On Thursday though, Connor was putting on quite a display, kicking himself from one side to the other and generally having fun. Cassie, who was sitting in the front seat of the car with me, was chatting away, telling us about some deep and meaningful conversation she'd had with a boy at school (about the Raggy Dolls of all things). I grabbed her hand and lay it upon my stomach. She continued for about 5 seconds and then the penny dropped. Her eyes bulged and her jaw dropped. "I can feel that," she whispered. "Wow." She kept her hand there for ages, just looking into my eyes and grinning. It was a magical moment and I'm so glad we shared it.

I'm not up for blogging much. Will write more during the week. Take care.

2004-11-12T17:56:00.000+08:00

End In Sight

Uni is over. Woohoo! I walked in, sat down, did my exam and walked out 2 hours and 20 minutes later. It's such a relief to know that the unit is behind me. I decided to do one unit just to keep my mind active in the long, final weeks of the pregnancy. Now the exam is over I feel ready to have this baby. I am so over this pregnancy lark. I've been getting a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions over the past few days. I've spent the afternoon encouraging the baby to turn them into the real thing.

Readiness

The bassinette is complete with a new mattress being purchased for it today. I've decided to let Battboy make the bassinette up for me while I'm in hospital. I've been very baby-focussed whereas Lee has been house-focussed. I've decided to reverse things. I'm going to finalise our bedroom tonight and Lee is in charge of having the baby's bed ready when I get home from hospital.

Weekend contingency plans

We have the kids home for the weekend. Now that the end is in sight, we've been laying plans as to what happens if... Their uniforms are in the wash and will be packed as soon as they're dry so if I go into labour, they're prepared. Erin's bag is ready, my friends are all on notice that Connor is not all that far away.

If only...

the house wasn't such a mess. Battboy has borne the brunt of organising everything as I've spent the week entirely focussed on study and exam prep. Now uni's over I've turned my attention wholly inwards. My feet are spending more time up and my head is reacquainting itself with my pillow. But, I do want the house clean. I had a sleep this arvo so I can spend time this evening getting our room finished.

My hero

I really don't know what I would have done without Battboy this week. Exams aside, I've been an emotional and physical wreck as my stomach continues its outward trek. My skin feels stretched and sore and I can't find a comfortable position. Most mornings I can barely put one foot in front of the other as the pain is just too much. I've burst into tears on more than one occasion and demanded that Lee take me to the hospital so I can have this alien removed. He's been there totally for me every step of the way, providing physical assistance when I can't move and a t-shirt-clad shoulder for me to mop my tears up on. He helped me up the steps to my exam this morning and then had a potted flower waiting for me when I emerged at the end of it all. I love this man more than anything in the world.

And...

Today he downloaded Green Jelly's Three Little Pigs. This is the coolest song. I'd forgotten how much fun it was. I'm not a 'thrash your head about' type of person, but I just can't help it with this. It's on our We're Having a Baby play list for hospital. If that doesn't get things moving, nothing will.

Downing Tools

In an effort to simplify my priorities, I've told the crew at ASIM that I won't be an editor anymore. Writing is my passion and I want to concentrate on that. With all the family hiccups and the impending birth/newborn I've decided to give ASIM a miss. As of now, if you receive a rejection, it wasn't me :)

Have a brilliant weekend.

2004-11-11T09:55:00.000+08:00

New abode

We've moved. The loungeroom is pretty much set up, our bedroom has the required bed, drawers and bassinette. Erin's bed and clothes are set up. The boy's room is not too terrible. Everything else is a mess. The removalists managed to break the birthday present I bought Battboy last year (an Indian peace-pipe on a stand) as well as his computer desk. Fortunately we took out insurance so we will be hitting them up for a reimbursement. We're very unhappy with the removalists. They quoted us $700 for the job, then charged $1600. If you want to know who they are so you can avoid them, just ask.

Lee's pretty much unpacked everything himself (albeit with a fair amount of help from the amazing Sheldon and a hand from Calli and John). I just can't do anything. I'm either in pain, studying for Friday's exam or exhausted (or a mixture of all three). He's also kept Erin in line so I can recuperate/study/rest. Lee is my hero this week.

Many happy returns

It's my honey's birthday tomorrow. We just had the kids here and they gave him their present and cards. I gave Lee his present on Monday. It's a sculpture made from wingnuts and bolts and represents two men wearing glasses and playing soccer. I took one look and thought "Cool!" I had to buy it and give it to him straight away. The kids bought Lee a watch and chose their own cards.

A complete waste of time (I love it)

We have Foxtel. Despite the fact that Battboy and I aren't huge TV watchers (although we are addicted to the current incarnation of The Practice), we seemed to spend a lot of yesterday with our eyes glued to the plug in drug. Invader Zim, Urban Legends Revealed, Mummy Hunters, The Pretender (starring the totally disfellowship-worthy Michael T Weiss), and of course...

Eastenders

What a let down that was. Yes, it contained some of the same faces as 18 years ago. Only now, they're old. Even Ian. And he was my age last time I watched it. Very distressing because now he looks nearly 40.

Back to The Practice

Shatner rocks. Spader is amazing. I gave up watching The Practice about 2 years ago. I checked it out when they announced Spader was joining and I have to say I love him, but, oh my god, I'm so into Danny Crane. The writer knows his William Shatner. He and Spader get the best lines. I'm loving it.

Last milestone

36 weeks today. This is pretty much the last major milestone before the baby comes. I had a hospital appointment today. While his head is down, it's not low enough to give birth yet. But then again, this is my fourth pregnancy so that's not really an indication. I go back in two weeks (no clinic next week due to exams) and they'll have a look at how close I am to delivery.

Please let it be over soon. I have an exam on Friday. After that I'm going to be doing my best to bring this baby on. There are a lot of stairs at uni.

School girl

I started researching my exam on Masculine Theory. Somehow I've ended up working on Queer Theory instead. Shakespeare is a good subject because a lot has been written about his sexual preferences. I'm working on Sonnet XX. No ambiguity there. He was clearly writing about a man. Personally, I don't think that makes him gay, just appreciative of the male form.

Speaking of which...

I have to get some study done. Take care.

2004-11-03T07:40:00.000+08:00

Buddha boy

I had an ultrasound today to pinpoint how big Connor is and whether I'll be able to deliver him naturally. Not only is he big, he's fat. He has a big tummy and is the size of a 36 week baby. This apparently caused some concern because a fat baby normally indicates gestational diabetes. A quick look through my notes showed that I'd tested negative at 28 weeks, so the doctor decided that it wasn't a problem after all. I'm just having a chubby bubby. The head and everything is fine so the doctor isn't seeing any real problems in a natural delivery, but asked Battboy and I how we felt about an epidural. He felt that the pelvic pain could be a problem(it's getting a lot worse again and the belt barely makes a difference) and that we'd be better off with an epidural. We nodded and said "yes, please". So my natural, drug free, home birth has turned into a hospital-based birth with all the trimmings. On the positive side, no one will expect me to do anything more than lie around in bed feeding the baby and occasionally changing his nappy. I can't wait.

Lying around

He's turned around and is no longer transverse. His head is down and facing to the left and for once I'm actually carrying a child that is willing to keep his back against my stomach. My other three were posterior which was awful.

Busy busy busy

We have a very full fortnight ahead of us between moving, birthdays (half of Lee's family including Lee himself) lunches, exams and appointments. I'm hoping to get through my exam next Friday and then do nothing but relax. I'd ask Lee to take me away during our next (and last) Erin Free Weekend, but I don't want to be too far from the hospital.

You gotta have friends

A heap of our friends have offered to help us with the moving process. As we're hiring a removalist, the packing up part is done for us (although we have done about a quarter of it ourselves to help save a bit of money). The next bit is unpacking. We've invited everyone around to help us unpack on Saturday, followed by a bar-be-que lunch in the afternoon. And we can do this because...

We bought a bar-be-que. In the next stage of our complete commitment to each other (cos you know the baby and wedding thing count for only so much) Lee and I went shopping for a bbq today and got a really cool one. We also found some outdoor lanterns that we absolutely fell in love with.

I'm so excited about this move. I always move when pregnant. Most women nest. I change trees.

Well, that's it for today. Battboy will be home any minute with the kids (I was in too much pain to go) so I want to be in feet-up position when they arrive.

Have fun and enjoy life.

Oh, one more thing.

He also has big feet. Really big. They're already 5cm's long. This is a paternal trait, apparently. They're certainly not from me. I still wear kid's shoes.

2004-11-02T06:00:00.000+08:00

The Prisoner

We won it! Yay us! It's paid for and should be on its way.

I'm not mad...

Or even depressed. I saw the psychologist yesterday and after a 90 minute chat she decided that I'm far from either. She told me I'm a strong woman who has had a lot to deal with over the past two years. We talked about my guilt issues (ex-husbands, run away children and toddlers who cry when I drop them off at childcare), the pain of SPD (the pelvic problem), the loss of my religious support network, the joy and dilemmas of raising a step-child, the fear that I've lost the love of my children, the pressure of moving and uni and, well, everything. Mostly I talked about the pressure I feel to have my baby born on any date other than the 5th or 9th of December. She commended me on just how well I was coping and said she defied anybody to be permanently happy under those circumstances. She chatted to Lee for a while too, but on the whole he let me speak for myself.
I spoke about my relationships with Jon and Lee and where they're the same as well as different.

One thing that came out and surprised me was just how much I miss my in-laws. I really loved Jon's parents and I hate that they're not part of my life. Lee's dad is quite remote and we haven't built up much of a relationship. Jon's dad was someone I became very close to and I miss that. I am, on the other hand, closer to Lee's brother and sister-in-law than I was to Jon's. Scott and Amanda have been amazing during this pregnancy with lots of practical help for which I'm really grateful.
I also commented that this pregnancy has allowed for a strange turn of events. I'm not close to my mum or Lee's dad, but I've developed a kind of friendship with Lee's mother-in-law, Lynn. We're bonded by our love for Erin and this helps smooth what could be a difficult situation.

The psych did tell me off for one thing. She says moving during pregnancy was a huge mistake. Oh, well. Nothing we can do about that.
None of the children seem to be responding well to the move. All four have become argumentative. For the older three, I can see it upsets them that I won't be just around the corner any more and as for Erin, she sees boxes being packed and taken away with no real knowledge of why. Today we took her with us to the house and showed her that her toys were in her new room. This excited her, but she got upset when we left them behind.

All in all, it was great to talk to someone. I'm a verbal-linguistic person and need to express my emotion. Rosie, the psych, was easy to talk to and I didn't have to take her feelings into account. Yes, for once it was all about me.

I don't have to see her again until I've delivered, and then she'll come and see me while I'm on the ward to make sure I'm okay.

Uni

I have my exam next Friday (the 12th). I'm nervous. Nothing I read makes any sense and I'm worried I'm going to fail. Hope I go into labour Thursday night.

That time of the year

Help wanted: Must have own secateurs and broken bottle.

It's hay-fever season and I'm pregnant. I'm at the point where I want to cut off my nose and chew on broken glass. Anything to relieve the constant irritation in my nose and mouth. I have blisters on the roof of my mouth from where my tongue rubs against it during the night. As Lee mentioned on his blog the other day, hayfever seems trifling compared to the other problems, but honestly there are times when I want to expose my wrist to a razor blade just to make it all stop. Lee never seems to stop rubbing his eyes, so at least he's suffering along with me :)

On writing

Have decided to take a break from writing until after uni and the baby's born. Found out a story was rejected today. I'll send it out again tomorrow. I was really upset at first, but I've let it go now. It's a good story and I'm confident it'll place within a paying magazine. It's not the end of the world.

On moving

Lee's been worried about how I'll take moving into the house that he shared with Sharon. He asks me if I'm okay with it about every 5 minutes. Really, it doesn't bother me. Someone else has been living there for the past year and at the moment it's just an empty house. I've been told that I can do anything I want to it in order to make it mine. I'm thinking of tiling the kitchen and dining floors and making the patio a proper entertainment area. I also want new curtains in the kitchen and the kids' rooms. While I'm not as much of a knick-knacky person as Sharon, I am very much a candle person, as is Lee, so I don't think it'll take much to imprint our joint personality upon the house. Anyway, we've decided to give it a year. If everything works out we'll renovate and create a new master bedroom and ensuite, giving the three boys the current master bedroom. If it doesn't work out, we'll move (probably build). If we do renovate, it'll have to be a stay-forever thing. Lee and I are pretty much agreed in what we'd like in a home. We both love the idea of a sitting area with a bay-window over-looking the backyard and a spa in the ensuite.

35 weeks

I have an ante-natal appointment tomorrow. The countdown is on. After this week I should be on weekly visits. I also have a scan tomorrow to ascertain just how big the Battbaby is. This excites me. I'm at the stage where I'm worried there's something wrong with my boy (one reason for the transverse lie) and hopefully this will put me at ease. The pain is so bad most of the time that I hope they take one look at the scan and decide to bring the baby on early. Any time from next Wednesday suits me. I can't get comfortable any more. The only time I feel I can rest is lying with my back against Lee's side while we watch TV. All movement is painful.

Okay, well that's it for now. Take care and be happy.

2004-11-01T09:11:00.000+08:00

Bated breath

The Prisoner. Every episode. 11 minutes 45 seconds left. And we're currently the highest bidder! Two very excited people in the TriffBatt household. Lee and I are huge fans of The Prisoner. We were just cruising through eBay, talking about the fact we need to bring our spending down, when this little gem jumped out at us.

So while I'm filling time clicking refresh over and over (and Battboy's out picking the boys up from Tae Kwon Do) I thought I'd fill you in our week. (7 and a 1/2 minutes and counting)

Moving and packing

We're moving at the end of the week, so much of the weekend has been spent packing up books and kids in an effort to keep removalist costs to a minimum (we keep our money for eBay :)) The kids have filled box after box with clothes, toys, card games and junk.

Okay, that's weird, the four and a 1/2 minutes left has jumped to 1 hr four minutes. I think their time keeper is all messed up what with daylight saving.

Battboy has forbidden me from lifting, carrying etc so I've pretty much directed traffic, kept Aiden moving (the boy seems to have mastered the extreme art of procrastination) and played Sims. At this stage I'm ready to start shifting fridges in an attempt to bring this baby on.

Dinner

Had dinner with Dave Luckett and Sally Beasley last night. Sally bought my story "The Memory of Breathing" for Issue 18 which comes out in April. Dave read it a while back and told Sally about it. She approached me and asked if she could buy it for the issue. I was rapt. Nicko and his wife Sue were also there. Ian gave me some good advice about my daughter and her dyslexia. It turns out dyslexia is not a sight problem (which I'd always assumed) but a psychological one. He was really helpful and I was grateful for the insight.
Dinner was delicious, with all sorts of good food and wine (I stuck to the equivalent of about 1/2 a glass). It was a nice night with lovely food and excellent conversation and we both really enjoyed ourselves. One thing I will say for my relationship with Lee, we spend time with really interesting people. After years of spending my time with computer people and religious types, it's refreshing to hang around people as diverse as those in writing and fandom.

Okay, so it seems there's still 45 minutes left of bidding time. What else can I talk about?

Appointments

I have a psych appointment tomorrow. I had to fill out a 'how are you this week?' form at the hospital during my last visit. This was the week when I was suffering the worst pain from my pelvis problem. Naturally I responded that I was having a bad week and feeling very low (did I mention the pain?). Unfortunately this identified me as being in a high-risk category for Post-Natal Depression, so now I have to start seeing a counsellor.

Photos

Lee has taken a photo of me every four weeks from the time we found out I was pregnant. At 32 weeks we changed to every two weeks. We have the pictures up on our screensaver, along with about 200 other pictures. What strikes me most is not so much the 'changing shape of Lyn's tummy' aspect, but the 'changing style of Lyn's hair.' I'm beginning to think I have a hair obsession.

Movies

No bad movie night tonight. We're surrounded by boxes, both flat and filled.

25 minutes, we're still the highest bidder and I can't think of anything else to say. The chiropractor is definitely helping Lee's back/neck and my pelvis. The baby moves down into position after each visit, then finds some flimsy excuse to move up again a few hours later. He is, however, spending more and more time in the appropriate position so I'm hoping he'll eventually get the hint and stay there.

Have a great week. Lee'll let you know what happens.

2004-10-26T16:53:00.000+08:00

When Portia met Sarah

For all those people who laughed when I said my assignment was comprised of discussing the similarities between Portia from Merchant and Sarah Connor from Terminator. Guess what! I received a High Distinction. Woohoo to meehee! I also used my essay to have a rant about the way pregnant women are treated at university and my tutor loved it.

I feel good.

But tired.

Had a spot of trouble with my daughter last night. As a result I've had 3 hours sleep in the past 48 hours. So very very tired.

Week's roundup

Sold a story
Sent out two more
Received a fantastic mark for uni
Wrote my will
Applied to be KSP emerging writer in residence
Bought a new laptop
Bought Sims
Bought a baby bag
Made space for the bassinette (when my little bro brings it back)

What Lee did

Brought this really cool Nosferatu t-shirt. It's fantastic. I love it. I'm waiting for him to put it in the wash so I can steal it.

2004-10-26T12:07:00.000+08:00

But wait, there's more...

Sheldon has come up trumps again. This guy is on a roll. Last Sunday he provided me with pregnancy-friendly sushi, this week he fixed my computer woes. I love Sheldon. As I mentioned previously, I have a shiny new laptop. It's beautiful, but guess what...no floppy drive. I wanted to send some stories out this week but they were stuck on the old laptop and there was no way I could email them to their prospective publishers. Sheldon came to the rescue. He took my old laptop home and transferred all my files onto a CD-ROM for me. Battboy and I picked the CD up tonight and everything went according to plan. The stories are gone and I'm happy.

I'd also like to thank both John and PRK for looking into the problem for me and for coming up with alternatives. It's nice to have such clever and caring friends.

It really is about the friends

Another fun bad movie night last night. We watched Hudson Hawk (provided by the gorgeous Kylie) and for once I actually enjoyed the bad movie. Chances, as per usual, was a scream, particularly the bit where the two old blokes hid under the prostitute's bed and found a... well I'll leave that to your imagination.

We had a good turn out. PRK and Torrie arrived bearing a HUGE bag of Cadbury's chocolates (factory seconds that tasted fantastic) which the four of us hoed into before everyone else arrived. Calli, John and Kylie turned up about half an hour later with Sheldon arriving in time for Chances. Kylie brought left-over pizza, I made minestrone soup and PRK and Torrie supplied cheesecake. As usual we thoroughly enjoyed it. After everyone left, Battboy and I did our usual glance at the dishes and then sat up talking for about an hour.

I have a deep thought sigh...apparently

Battboy just asked if I was blogging. Pretty impressive since he's on the other side of the room and is heavily involved in his game. Amazed, I asked how he knew. "You sat back and sighed."
"And?" "It was your deep thought sigh." Together 18 months and he can interpret my sighs.

Guilty pleasures

Talking of games, I've invested in Sims Deluxe. Lee's at me pretty constantly now to slow down and take breaks instead of constantly being on the go. As incentive he told me I could buy a new game for my laptop. I chose Sims. I love it. I still keep active, but balance an hour of housework with an hour of Sim-rest. He's pretty heavily into Hyperballoid, an Arkenoid variation. I'd like to think he's swapped his eBay addiction for this addiction, but not so. He's pretty addicted to both.

Although...

I was on eBay this arvo and bought a brand new baby bag for $50. It's cool and exactly what I've been looking for. We received three parcels from eBay today, two games for the boys and a Paddington Bear outfit for Connor. Going to the letter box is just like Christmas.

Have a lovely week.

2004-10-23T11:00:00.000+08:00

Meet Kif

I have a new toy. His name is Kif and he's my Happy Computer. I'm sitting at him right now, typing in my first Blog. Why Kif? As I was setting up my new laptop (an LG s50-5) I was asked to give it a name and a description. I was going to go with Hal, which is apparently IBM minus 1. Battboy told me that since my new (electronic) baby is an LG it should be LG minus 1, hence KF, hence Kif. Kif is also my favourite Futurama character.

Blame Ju. She was here at the time spreading her 'squeee-ness' around.

Good movie night

Asked John around yesterday to fix Battboy's computer. He and Calli arrived at about 6:30. While John and Lee did the computer thing, I was treated to a lovely foot massage by Calli and Ju. Then the five of us sat down to a delicious dinner of lamb casserole with gnocchi and Baker's Delight bread followed by peach and apple pie and custard and cream (there goes Battboy's diet for yet another day :)) We decided to watch a good movie together for a change. Ju chose "A Mighty Wind". Great choice, babe!! We laughed ourselves stupid. It was a great night.

More gizmos and gadgets

John's advised Lee and I to network our computers (using newfangles wireless technology) and to switch from floppy drives to thumb drives. These little doodads are really cool and fit on your key ring. We're both so getting one each. When we move we're going to get broadband and stop all this cord nonsense.

Crunch

We saw the chiropractor today. Lee's a mess and had quite the work over. He has twice weekly visits for the next couple of weeks, then moves on to weekly, then monthly. Greg thinks he can help him. Between the crunching, light exercise and a more balanced diet, we should have Battboy on the mend in time for the wedding.
I also had an adjustment. The belt is working well, but it isn't actually fixing the problem, just holding it together. Greg identified the exact location of my troubles and went to work. I feel somewhat better, although I've been advised to stop squatting when dealing with Erin and picking things up and I'm not to take any more raspberry leaf for the time being. I don't mind cutting out the tablets, but I do mind the squatting thing. I'm Erin's mother, yet I'm not allowed to pick her up or move down to her. It really makes it hard to find contact time with her. I asked Greg to deal with the baby's position, but he didn't seem all that worried.

Uni

One more week. Thank god. The lectures are killing me. I have an exam in a month when I'll be 37 weeks. For some reason I have it in my head that I'll deliver at 37 weeks. Uni was such a bad idea. I decided to do one unit in order to keep my mind active while going through the final countdown. I didn't take teeny-weeny seats and afternoon lectures into account.

Take care out there and have a great weekend.

2004-10-21T09:00:00.000+08:00

A sale

I'm a happy camper. Yesterday I sold my story "The Hanging Tree" to Borderlands. It'll appear in issue 5. Lee also has a story appearing in that issue, which will be the first magazine we appear in together as separate entities.

And now I do the dance of joy.

Baby news

He's big. He's active. He's the wrong way around. My little boy has decided that he doesn't want to be head-down. Hell, he doesn't even want to be bum-down. No, being his father's son, he's decided he wants to do things the difficult way and lay across my stomach, back arching against the wall of my uterus (unlike a normal transverse where they lie with their back downwards). Apparently it's not uncommon for babies to do this, but generally they turn by 32 weeks. Well, we're now at 33 weeks and he seems pretty comfortable. I'm seeing my chiropractor on Friday so I'm going to see if he can manipulate him into position, but if not, then the doctor can attempt to turn him at 36 weeks under ultrasound (so I've just been reading). If that fails, then it's a Caesarean birth.
The doctor seemed to think Connor's very big, so I have to have a growth ultrasound in 2 weeks to determine just how big. After this, we can make a decision regarding inductions (transverse lie not withstanding) etc.

The kindness of strangers

Battboy and I went shopping yesterday. A woman sitting outside a cafe called out "Not long to go now!" God let her be psychic.

Gizmos and gadgets

I'm getting a new laptop tomorrow. I'm so excited.

Take care.

2004-10-18T04:41:00.000+08:00

This week I'm in love with...

Sheldon. He brought pregnancy-friendly sushi to the picnic on Sunday. No seafood, no mayo, freshly made just before he came. Bless you, Sheldon. I am forever grateful. Lee has been given strict instructions that the minute the baby and I are settled on the ward, he is to run off and buy me sushi. I miss sushi. And camembert. And pate.

Greg. I had an adjustment with my chiropractor today and the relief was pretty much immediate. This pregnancy has been, without a doubt, the most difficult for me to endure and it just keeps getting worse. The other day Battboy and I had our "How to be a parent" class at the hospital. The midwife realised how much pain I was in and booked me in for an emergency session with the physio. I was offered a special belt and crutches, both of which I mocked. By nightfall I would have given anything for the crutches as I could no longer walk without Lee's assistance. Somehow I got through the weekend and made it to my appointment this morning. Fifteen minutes later I could walk totally unaided. Lee and I walked around the block and I feel great. I also had a roaring headache (usual pregnancy problem for me) when I went in which has dulled itself to a discomfit in my temples. Greg also offered the elasticated belt which I took this time, and yes, it has helped. It seems that the front of my pelvic bone has come apart. I had a fall at about 16 weeks which damaged my pelvis and the rapid growth of the Battbaby has put a lot of extra strain on it. The belt pushes the bone back in place and lifts the baby away from it.

Brett. For finding an extra place for the Battbrat at childcare.

Lee. For accepting "Because they're size 5" as a perfectly logical reason for buying a new pair of shoes this morning.

Lee again. For being as upset this morning as I was when it came time to say goodbye to the kids after a fantastic week. We had the most wonderful time. Cass was on her best behaviour and the whole holiday period went without a hitch. The boys were delightful and taught Battboy the fine art of Yu-Gi-Oh. They even made him up his own deck.

Lee part III. For encouraging me to apply for the KSP Writer-In-Residence and have a go at the Writers of the Future competition. For some reason he believes in my talent and wants me to pursue my craft.

My kids. All four of them. Love them all to bits, they bring never-ending joy to my life.

My baby. Every roll, every kick, every tap reminds me that it's all been worth it.

The midwife at the hospital. For believing that Lee and I absolutely have a good reason for wanting an induction and is going to talk to the doctor about it. And for arranging the physio session for me. She's the first medical person to actually care about the problems Lee and I are having with this pregnancy.

Kaneda. He's just so good with my kids. They all love him to pieces.

Doug. Cassie's boyfriend. For having a joke with me on the phone last night.

Cassie. For defending the Lizards in V. Priceless.

Slimming magazine. For telling me that the average block of chocolate contains 8 insect legs. My need for chocolate is pretty much non-existent now. Battboy and I took the kids to the Chocolate Factory yesterday and I ate a LOT less than I normally would. In fact, my only real purchase was a jar of Onion and Rosemary Marmalade. Yes, I did eat some chocolate, but I figure the amount equated to about 1/4 of an insect leg.

2004-10-15T07:29:00.000+08:00

Here's hoping

As many of you are aware, I've undergone a certain amount of angst over the behaviour of my 13-year-old lately. Twenty two years ago I was her age and was soooooo certain I'd have a better understanding of my child than what my father afforded me. Unfortunately, it hasn't quite panned out that way partly because a) she lives with her father which has affected our relationship somewhat and b) she is 13 and I just don't understand why the aliens won't bring my lovely daughter back.

Well, last night Cass and I sat down and had a huge heart to heart about our differences and the way we view each other. One thing we did agree on was we do love each other and don't mean to hurt each other and that generally a lot of what we fight about comes down to simple misunderstanding. This morning we repeated the experience, except that it was Lee and Cass having the discussion while I refereed (if I'm confused about the stroppy teen imagine how the step-daddy feels. This is all 10 years ahead of schedule for him).

Having cleared the air, the three of us have had a great day of laughing and enjoying each other's company. It seems the aliens heard my pleas. For now. She is, after all, still 13.

And then...
This morning, armed with a newly paid-off Visa card, I took Cass shopping at Supre. $102 (and 90 minutes) later she has two new outfits and a belt. What really amazed me was that I had an opportunity to survey other teens at play with their mums. Believe it or not, Cass had the best manners there. I guess I'm not a complete failure after all. She was so happy with her purchases she didn't even whinge when I dragged her around Baby-On-A-Budget. In fact, she got a little huffy when I wanted to leave. We met up with Battboy and the Triffbrats for lunch and a wander around the shops.

Heart-stopping

Lee had a car accident yesterday morning. He phoned me to let me know so I could find the insurance details. I nearly fainted on the spot. "Darling, I've had a car accident." All my worst fears tied up in five little words.
When he got home he kept apologising for it. I just looked at him sitting there opposite and felt relieved. The man I love more than my own life was safe and well, if a little sore and sorry for himself. I just couldn't stop touching him.

Yummo

We went out to the Dusit Thai Restaurant for a Swancon dinner last night. Best Thai EVER! Well worth the expense and it was great to catch up with the crowd. Lee and I are officially in love with Sean Williams. He is one of the sweetest people to walk the SF stage.

Preparations

I keep having Braxton-Hicks contractions. While not painful, they do make me feel rather nauseous. Not long now.

Holiday fun

Cass keeps on insisting we listen to her radio station while in the car. I've had a lot of fun saying "70's song remixed, 80's song remixed, last week's song remixed." She thinks she's listening to something new and funky and I start singing along. Gotta love it.

We have had fun these holidays. When the kids came home on Monday they brought two friends with them, Laura and Ambrosea. Battboy and I took them all out to lunch at Sizzler followed by Garfield on Monday, Uni for lunch on Tuesday, Bayswater Waves yesterday and Yu-Gi-Oh/Supre today.

32 weeks

Apparently my little boy now has eyebrows and eyelashes and if I were to play the same piece of music to him every day from now on, he'd recognise it once born. "Neighbours... Everybody needs good neighbours..."

On that note, be happy.

2004-10-11T09:07:00.000+08:00

Phew!!!

Battboy and I have just returned from Wasteland. Well, to be absolutely truthful, I returned about 4 hours ago. Lee arrived about half an hour ago. After an extremely bad night of calf cramps and stomach pain I had to get home. I was in bed last night when the fire alarm at the hotel went off. Naturally we had to climb down 3 flights of stairs and out into the street. The fire truck turned up, the men had a quick look and then informed us the emergency was a small kitchen fire. We were then allowed to return to our rooms.

I was shattered. Even now my calves feel as if they've been shredded. I came home, had a hot bath and a quiet read then fell asleep for an hour.

But there's always a silver lining.

I woke up feeling quite refreshed. I came up with two story lines during the course of the weekend and wanted to get them down. The first line of one of the stories popped into my head. I typed it in then decided to send out the two stories that had been rejected last week. Once they went I wrote the next line of the story (currently called Moonzone) and the next. I'm now about 600 words into it and feeling good.

One more night

And I get to see my kids again. I can't wait. It's been over a week and I miss them hugely. It was a big decision to go to Wasteland this weekend. They spent the time between a friend of mine and their dad and I didn't get to see the children as planned, but I decided Battboy really needed the break. He's so stressed about the upcoming birth and needed distracting.

Well, back to writing.
Have a lovely week.

Oh yeah...

My "Writer in Residence" t-shirt went down a treat. It looks fantastic. I got heaps of compliments which I then directed Battboy's way.
And Connor had his first con-badge. 8 weeks before he's due. I'll be putting it in his baby album.

2004-10-07T08:23:00.000+08:00

I hate to complain...

...and generally I don't, but...

A few years ago I became acquainted with the term SNAFU. I never had a true appreciation of what it meant until recently. (For those who are trying to work it out: it's an old army term meaning Situation Normal, All F'd Up)
I woke up this morning, Lee asked me how I felt and SNAFU jumped into my head.

Another night of Erin crying. (3 times. Apparently only I heard her.)
Another night of waking up and grinding my teeth against the discomfit (read incredible pain) as I turn over (I am so over this pregnancy).
Another blood nose in the shower (I woke up covered in blood the other night. My hands, my chest, my face, my teeth and the pillow were soaked. It was everywhere. Did I mention I'm over this pregnancy deal?)
Another day without my kids.
Another day where my uni assignment ceased to make any sense at all (it's due in tomorrow).
Another story rejection (the second this week).
I had to leave my lecture the other day because those desk-chairs (that seemed fine and dandy this time last year) are WAAAAAY too small. I sat in the chair (not so bad) and then pulled the desk up. Couldn't be done. The desk cut into my stomach. I needed the desk to take notes, but ended up in so much pain I phoned Lee to pick me up. I felt like a big failure. I decided to do a unit this year because I wanted to prove to myself and various other people that I am a capable, independent woman who is able to do anything she puts her mind to. I also wanted to keep my mind active during the pregnancy as those last eight weeks or so can feel like years. I forgot to take into account the fact that desks and stomachs don't mix.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty low today.

Oh well, back to the assignment, then I'm off to send some more stories out, plus find new homes for the two rejected. My kids arrive tomorrow and get to stay a whole WEEK so Battboy and I are busy planning activities, then packing for Wasteland. As for the pain, at the end of it all I will have a little boy, so anything I go through now is worth it.

Have a great day and be happy.

PS On a positive note: Battboy sold another story. I'm so very very incredibly proud of him. The story, Pater Familias, is a creepy little horror piece and I knew it would be quickly snapped up. Well done, my darling!!!

2004-09-30T12:20:00.000+08:00

Enough's enough

I'm now pregnancy-magazined out. I've read about 17 of the bloody things this week. During this time I've read about a gazillion articles on conception (seem to have ironed that one out ages ago thanks), the baby's development week by week, appropriate foods in pregnancy (chocolate makes your baby smarter. Kahlua unfortunately doesn't), pre-labour (a stage that lasts several weeks and yes! I seem to be showing 4 of the 5 symptoms), labour (omigawd!!!! Thank god for the articles on pain relief. Have that epidural primed Mr Doctor Sir), bringing baby home, sibling rivalry (I'm really only worried about Blake and Erin in this regard. Casi won't care and Aiden will be all over his little brother) and how soon sex can resume (opinions vary, but it's 4 weeks as memory serves). I've also read about toilet training, getting your toddler to sleep through the night and how to deal with head lice.

This evening I had a bath that lasted one and a quarter hours. This gave me enough time to read an entire mag. At the end of it I threw it on the floor and vowed to find something new to read.

So tomorrow I'm digging out the Bridal magazines. Well, I do have my hair to consider.

Seriously though

I have an assignment to finish this week. 730 of the 1600 words are written. I have another Terminator movie to watch and about 13 books to wade through. These deal with feminist issues from the 16th - 21st century and material criticism. If anyone has opinions about Sarah Connor that they think pertinent to my assignment (the notion of cross-dressing in both The Merchant of Venice and the three Terminator movies) I'd like to hear them. I'm talking (ranting) about how women have to defeminise themselves in order to make it in a man's world.

I've promised myself a writing day tomorrow during which I hope to have the first draft of the assignment finished and another 500 words on my novel written. I also want to finish writing my application for the KSP residency.

I set myself a goal last week of 500 words on Josie and another this week of 1000. On Sunday (the day the old week finishes and the new begins) I wrote over 1500 so I'm feeling pretty good already, but would like to see another 500 written before week's end. I'm writer-nesting.

On a less serious note

Battboy's offered to make me a t-shirt for Wasteland with "Writer in Residence" written on it and an arrow pointing to my tummy. Want to get a start on that next week.

Okay, well that'll see me right for the next few days. Off now to watch some TV. Battboy and I have a strict viewing schedule. Dr Who, followed by Neighbours (I am pregnant!!!!) and Frazier. A break of two hours then on Mondays and Tuesdays we have The NEW Practice and Wednesday has Forensic Investigators. That's it. Nothing else unless its a particularly good doco or something arthousy on SBS.

Have a great day.

Oh, on a cute note.

Aiden actually saw my stomach jumping around this afternoon. It blew his mind.
And Blake has joined his two of his three siblings in talking to Connor through my stomach. Casi remains resistant. Her choice. She did however kiss my tummy last week.

2004-09-25T08:32:00.000+08:00

Are we there yet?

I've officially reached the stage where I've had enough. I'm so big I can't get comfortable and just turning over in bed causes me a lot of pain. There's so much I want to do to get ready for the baby, but I'm getting tired out easily.

Battboy and I are trying to organise rooms at the moment. Up until last night we'd decided to move the two bunk beds in together and give Connor a room to himself. We broke the news to the kids and gave them orders to prepare for a sharing lifestyle (first letting them know it would only be a temporary solution until we moved). With only (very) minor grumbling they got into it, cleaning up and putting everything into 3 piles, those things they must have with them, those that can go into storage and junk for the bin. The three oldest did exactly as they were asked and we were most impressed with their maturity. Last night in bed Lee and I chatted about the situation and decided to find another option. We don't want the kids thinking they come second place to the baby and I certainly don't want my three to feel they're little more than visitors. After getting them to finish the cleaning process this afternoon I told them that we'd changed our minds and why. Connor is coming into our room and the two kids' rooms stay as they are (albeit somewhat cleaner. We weren't completely stupid :)) So the boys have just helped me move my cupboards around so Battboy and I can put the various baby paraphernalia away. The bassinette will be picked up from my brother's house on the weekend and I can get into some serious nesting.

Writing

Sent three stories out to the KSP Short Story Competition this week as well as 2 stories out to publishers. I've done a lot of business although not a lot of writing. I have an idea based on a dream I had the other night but am still in the mental 'teasing out' stage. My mind is also on my next assignment which is due in 3 weeks. I'm doing a comparison of the Merchant of Venice with the three Terminator movies. This isn't as difficult as it sounds.

Like the house, I'm seriously organising my writing life. I want all current works to be out before the baby arrives to disrupt my writah-dahling lifestyle.

Sunday

Last weekend's Bad Movie Night hit a new low. We watched "Lair of the White Worm" and it was truly awful. We loved it. I made a vegetable casserole, Callisto brought over a pasta bake and Ju brought peaches and custard. We always have a lot of fun and the evening tends to wind down about 10:30ish which suits my pregnant self. Connor graced both Ju and Calli with movement they could feel.

Exercise

I've taken up pool walking this week. I feel the need to exercise, but as mentioned, my added bulk is making it rather difficult, so I've started going down to the local swimming pools and using their walking lanes. I do about 2kms in about 90 minutes and really enjoy it. I had terrible backache on Sunday so Lee dropped me off at the pool on his way to taking the boys to Tae Kwon Do. I did my laps and felt heaps better after it. Not totally recovered, but more comfortable. Calli, Ju and I repeated the experience on Tuesday at the Terry Tyzack Centre which was nice too, although the TTC lanes actually descend downwards so we could only travel 3/4 of a lap before it become too deep for those of us with Duck's Disease. On Wednesday Battboy and I took Erin down to Bayswater for more walking. We took it in turns to hold Erin as we lapped which was really nice as a family bonding exercise. I know all this walking isn't going to help me lose weight but it has improved my body image.

Have a nice weekend. Be happy.

2004-09-14T08:31:00.000+08:00

My baby is 10!!!!!!!

Ten years ago today I gave birth to my little boy Blake Henry Triffitt. While he is still teensy, he's no longer a baby.
Ten years ago I looked at my tiny little bundle and thought "A boy? He can't be a boy. I was going to have a girl." I'd just spent the previous 4 hours of my labour encouraging "Kayla" along (we still hadn't come to an agreement for her middle name, but I wanted Genevieve). I'd been so certain I was carrying a girl that I told Jon he could choose any name he liked for a boy. Fortunately I love the name Blake (named after Blake's 7) and I can live with Henry as a middle name (family name on my father-in-law's side).

Blake is an amazing child, yet was never meant to be. After we had Aiden, Jon decided to have a vasectomy. I was somewhat okay with this. I wanted another baby but knew Jon was dead against it. 6 months later we found out it hadn't worked and that we were going to be parents again. I cried with joy, Jon ran down to the AMA to find out how it could have happened. We both adjusted and after a couple of weeks were totally fine with the idea. Blake is a happy, carefree and extremely loving child and has brought a lot of happiness to both our lives. Jon quickly bonded with Blake and I'd say out of the three children, Blake is the one he's closest to.

I've been blessed with my kids and I love them all hugely. So on this day I'd like to shout:

"Happy Birthday Blakey Boy!!!!!!!!!"

2004-09-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

It's arrived!!!!!!

Spring is here. This is my proof.

I was zapped everytime I opened the car door this morning. It's a me vs Demeter thing.
Today I woke up with the need to rip the weeds out of the garden and replace them with a new crop of flowers. Now, everyone who knows me well knows that I am the floral equivalent of Ted Bundy. Every year I race out, buy new plants and then spend the next few weeks slowly killing them. Yes, I'm a serial killer. I think there's a story in that :) I've done the ripping out thing (which included the disposing of last year's bodies), but with Blake's birthday this week, the bulk plant buying will have to wait (did I just hear the sound of azaleas breathing a collective sigh of relief?). Battboy and I did buy a pot of flowers this week for the garden. They now come with a very sad story attached to them. I will talk further about this later.
I also woke up with the mad urge to clean. As a result the ceiling fan is white again, the bathroom has lost its lovely green patches (mould seems to be one plant I can't kill) and Erin's car seat is resting in Napisan. Tomorrow it will be rinsed, dried and reassembled, ready for Connor. Lee, who is putting this last piece of proof down to rampant pregnancy hormones, is leaving me to it.
I want to move house. Suburb. State. We're settling on moving the rooms around instead. We eventually want to build a house, but for now are content to rent. I like the house we have but it's too small and is about to get smaller. Back in the early days when my ex and I could actually speak civilly to each other, I told him about a house that would be perfect for him and the kids. Now I regret my attempts at niceness. I want that house. Anyway, I have a good landlord. I rarely see him and in the fourteen months we've been here, we've never had an inspection.

Back to reality

Battboy's residency is over. He starts a two week practicum at Morley High School this week. A friend of ours is a teacher there and has offered to mentor Lee during this time. Did I mention my daughter Casi goes to Morley. Is she impressed? Not at all, although she's pretending to be all cool about it. The boys on the other hand are begging him to teach at their school. I don't think they get the whole "I have higher expectations of you" thing.

I'm so proud of Lee. He accomplished over 50,000 words on his novel during his time at the centre and has come back full of zeal for not only his work but mine as well. My own output has picked up lately as a result.

The other upside of all this has come from the centre itself. I've had two KSP insiders making whispers in my general direction about applying. They're both telling me I should, baby and all. It would be nice, but I'm not sure. There's a lot to think about. For example, I'd actually need to work on a novel during that time. Big responsibility.

Countdown continues

I'm hitting 28 weeks this week. Traditionally I pack my bags at this time. I have the kids next weekend. I thought it'd be nice to make a family thing of it with everyone pitching in to help and with each child giving me something to take in with me. I've decided on a definite date to give birth (if the curry, walk, reflexology and pineapple juice don't work) so I have ten weeks to get out a bunch of stories before my boy arrives.

Okay, back to work. So much to do, so little time. Okay, the cleaning thing could be nesting after all. I realised I was going into labour with Aiden when I felt the mad desire to iron all Jon's shirts for the week. Fortunately I did that on the day rather than starting 10 weeks before hand.

Have a brilliant week.

2004-09-03T10:48:00.000+08:00

It's official

I'm not fat
I've signed my children away
Sometimes you can be too upset to cry

I'm not fat

I've been really concerned about how big I'm getting. Every time someone asks how long I have to go and I answer, an incredulous look crosses their face. "Oh, that's ages yet," they invariably reply. I eat a pretty healthy diet and exercise when I can, but this past week I decided to put myself and Battboy on a diet using Slimming magazine as a kilojoule/nutritional guide. I have a pretty low body image and being pregnant really doesn't help. I used to be engaged to a man who was very negative about my weight. I ended up with an eating disorder, only allowing 25 Burger Rings into my day and exercising like a, well, mad exercising thing. My weight plummetted from 51 kilograms to 40. I fainted at work and woke up to myself, dumped the fiance and sorted myself out. But the constant feeling of hugeness has 'fed' straight into my insecurities.

We had a hospital appointment last week. While the doctor made the usual comment about my stomach height (normal for a 29 week pregnancy. I'm 26 weeks), she pointed out that my weight gain is dead on target. I've put on 9 kilos which is right for this point. I have 12 weeks to go which means I'll end up with about a 12-14 kilo weight gain. Fantastic! I don't feel so awful now. Well, not about that anyway. I even took the Battbrat out this morning and treated myself to a skim-milk hot chocolate and Erin to a Babycino. We were a very happy pair.

I've signed my children away

Last night I admitted defeat and signed an agreement pretty much giving Casi, Aiden and Blake over to Jon. This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Casi and Blake have decided to live with their dad, but Aiden was adamant that he wanted to live with me. Unfortunately it seems that his wishes mean nothing. He wants his mum and is depressed. He feels helpless and neglected and there's nothing I can do.

I still get to see the kids every second weekend and after school on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I just make sure we have a fantastic time when we're together. My kids are everything to me and Jon has figured out the perfect way to make me pay for leaving him.

Sometimes you can be too upset to cry

When Azaria Chamberlain went missing in 1981 (80?) the world pointed the finger at Lindy and announced her guilty. Why? Because she never cried.

Last night I learnt you can be too upset to cry. I want to cry over the loss of my children, but I can't.

And now for something positive.

I finished general editing "Return to Civvie Street" yesterday. Now it goes through two line edits (first mine and then Battboy's) then out.

Lee and I are pretty positive that we can spot each other's writing style. We're also starting to wonder if our love for each other makes us careful of being too critical of each other. We've decided to test each other. We're going to send work out to each other's markets and see what happens.

The problem? Every time we start a new project, we get very excited and feel the need to tell each other the plot, the characters, the setting, everything. Lee started a new story the other day. I think he thought he could get away with passing it by me, until he realised. He used a piece of information I'd given him about my marriage. While it's very minor it's also very personal and I would have recognised it straight away. So he told me about the story and how he'd used this information. I was fine with it. I think it's funny and don't mind at all.

Well, I'm supposed to be working, so I'll get back to it. Have a wonderful weekend.

2004-09-01T20:51:00.000+08:00

A fun time was had...

After a couple of days uncertainty, Battboy and I went off to Splanky's birthday bash on Saturday night. We stayed for two hours before pregnancy tiredness and eau-de-cat caught up with me. We weren't going to go (due to illness, constant fatigue etc), but finally it dawned on us that we were CHILD FREE and this was exactly the sort of thing we like doing but can't when the rugrats are all with us.

It was great catching up with people. My tummy was nice and shiny by the time everyone had had a turn stroking it :) I wore a very figure hugging dress and a jacket. I felt pregnant and happy to show it.

Family ties

After deciding on a lazy day on Sunday we packed ourselves up and visited my brother and his wife. Okay, we really went to visit our new niece, we can't deny it. At four weeks old, she's gorgeous. She has a shock of long blonde hair and a tiny little mouth. I had first hold and Uncle Lee took second. And third. And fourth. In the end we had to pry Grace from his hands. Donna was desperate to get out of the house so Battboy and I drove her to Canningvale Markets for a couple of hours while Raymond performed Daddy-duty. It's so amazing to look at Grace and think that in about 12 weeks we'll be holding our own baby in our arms.

Speaking of which...

I'm now 26 weeks now. I've set a date for induction (28th November) although have informed all and sundry that there will be a huge curry night on the 26th. The happy daddy and I have been reading up on how to bring a baby on naturally. We've learnt about curry (hot), pineapple juice (freshly squeezed) and walking. And of course, there's sex (see curry). Isn't that what got us into this situation in the first place? Also: Who decided that it's unnatural for a pregnant woman to be walking around an Adultshop store? Generally my beautiful belly goes unnoticed by the general public except in two situations, uni and Barbarella's. Stepping into either of these places illicits a lot of staring. Go figure.

Anyway, lots of curry and walking and pineapple juice that day. Don't try and mental image anything else :)

Writing...

Sent out two stories yesterday. Simeon the Monkey went to Ideomancer while Still I Dance Under A Vengeful Moon went to Strange Horizons. I'm hopeful.

Time for dinner. Have a nice week.

2004-08-26T20:33:00.000+08:00

I'm bored

Lee's having an all day KSP-a-thon with not only the word thirst group this morning and the kids writing group this arvo, but also the teenage and adult groups tonight. I could write. I could watch SVU. I could sort out the baby's cupboard. I could do house work.

What I'm actually going to do is curl up in bed with the Locus Awards Anthology. It's fantastic. I love dipping into it and discovering 'new' old writers. I have a new favourite story. It's Bloodchild by Octavia Butler. Oh. My. God! It's fantastic, it's sublime. It's pretty much what I tried to accomplish when I wrote Learned Instincts.

I began a new story yesterday called Simeon The Monkey. The title and first paragraph came to me while I was soaking in the bath yesterday morning. I'm nearly 700 words into it so it looks like being a flash piece.

One step forward

Lee and I met our marriage celebrant yesterday. She's lovely and doesn't seem at all daunted by the prospect of performing our wedding in front of an audience of SF fans. Battboy and I have decided to write our own vows. We both have a lot we want to say to each other and some of it can even be repeated in public :)

Well that's it for now. Have fun.

2004-08-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

Monday, Monday

What a weekend. I had the kids which is always wonderful. I have a sinus infection which has really grounded me with a constant headache on the left-hand side of my face (if I'd had a pair of pliers I'd have ripped out my teeth). The kids were so considerate, keeping the noise down and making sure I was all right. I took Blakey-Boy to a gaming workshop on Saturday morning. I was not in the least amused when I was informed he was too young (he turns the necessary minimum age of 10 in 3 weeks). I sat there, in pain, while they explained to me the reasons why they couldn't bend the rules. I continued to sit there, resolute, determined not to let them or the headache beat me. Finally they backed down, saying they'd let it go this week. Then Blake told me he didn't have a brush. That's when I gave up. The paint fumes were killing my head and I couldn't take anymore. I offered him a milk shake in return for him letting it go this time and coming back in three weeks. He said "Cool, if you make it a frozen raspberry drink." Deal made, I was allowed to collect said drink and return to my bed.

The thing was, I was more devastated than Blake. He took it in his stride (he's that sort of kid) and I felt heart-sick for him. I bought him a brush so that he's prepared next time.

Uni Stage One

I have an assignment due on Friday. The infection made it impossible for me to make any sense of the material (a Foucaultian reading of "Bartleby the Scrivener") but after a big sleep on Saturday afternoon, I was finally able to get a start on it. I'm now 1100 words into the 1600 word essay and it's looking good. I'm off to the uni library today to do a little more research and hopefully it'll be finished by tomorrow's lecture.

The boys are home today due to a pupil-free day, so I'm taking them with me to uni. They're excited because I'm buying them lunch at the cafe. I guess they haven't had uni food before :) Aidie-Baby's using the time to finish his Hercules homework and Blakey-Boy will probably design and create more Yu-Gi-Oh cards for himself.

Cassie and I seem to have patched up our differences. She was wonderful all weekend with very little arguing involved. Of course, she spent half of it at her best friend's house.

Workshop fall-out

Lee led a writing workshop on the weekend. One of the tasks was this. He typed out a paragraph from his story "Brillig" which was first published in TOTU in June 2002. He then cut out the indiviual words and had the participants rearrange them so they made sentences of their own.

My three little geniuses (genii?) became very interested in the task and offered to help cut out the words. Lee explained what he was going to do with the words. The three kids immediately set about doing the task themselves.
This is what they came up with:

Uncomfortably there, a box sits blinded by stands. The box opens them. They lead Brillig. He feels the centre. The ceiling wires crackle grey against his head. (Blake, Age 9)

The room, hidden uncomfortably beneath covers standing above, opens, forming a shadow against the walls. (Cassie, 13)

And my personal favourite:
Uncomfortably wires pulse, machines across machine, blinded. There against, he led from the chairs feet. Closed shadow puddles, water ceiling grey. They, the City. (Aiden, 11) How cool is that line "Closed shadow puddles, water ceiling grey."? Wow.

Lee read these out at the workshop, much to the astonishment of the adults. They couldn't believe children had written such amazing stuff. I don't know why. They are MY children :)

Cassie took it upon herself to do a really long one which also blew my mind, but I can't find it anywhere.

The kids attend a writing group on Thursdays which they really enjoy, but I think the exercises they get from Lee are much more creative. They really stretch their mental muscles.

Thank goodness

I've taken a lot of Panadol this week. The doctor says it's safe to take 8 in a 24 hour period. I hate taking 2 when not pregnant, so imagine how I feel when I take 8 at the moment (the only way I could get that assignment under way). I took 8 on Saturday and 4 yesterday and have felt so guilty as a result. Doctors continually comment on two things. The height of my fundus (the uterus. It's bigger than it should be) and how active the baby is. He never stops. Well, he just started moving after a night of nothing. I'm one very relieved mummy. I might also take the two that I've been putting off.

A Day Out

We took Batt-Brat and the boys to the Parenting Expo yesterday. I am now the proud owner of 3 - yes 3! - dummies, even though I am very anti-dummies. I also have a tie up bib (another thing I hate), fifty sachets of baby lotion (ditto), a spoon set (No, that's fine) and enough leaflets and brochures to reconstruct a small forest. We ate a lot of lollies, and received a huge amount of rusks and fruit fingers. We arrived early, which was lucky as we left just when the crowds were really forming. Dorothy the Dinosaur appeared to sing 2 songs, which led to much joyful screaming from Erin. We were pretty much over the experience by that time. Lee and I were both in headache meltdown mode and headed for the exit. Easier said than done. It took us 40 minutes to cut our way through the myriad of pregnant women and prams. What is it about pregnant women that makes them think all personal space becomes their property? Yes, I know, I'm pregnant, and yes I have this attitude too.
Lee and I play a little game at the moment. It's called "count the pregnant women." I'm always number one, so each day we start with a fresh tally. Yesterday we walked in, looked at each other and went "Naaah."

Bad Movie Night

Calli, Chesh and Splanky came for dinner last night. I made a cajun beef casserole with rice, Calli made a salad and the Splank-meister brought chocolate mousse. My best-friend Sharon turned up. She needed a shoulder for a few minutes and I'm always happy to provide. We all ended up watching the second episode of Chances which was good, cheesy fun.

The movie-du-jour was Tank Girl. Not as bad as I expected. I love Ice T.

Well that's enough for now. Panadol calls me. Have a fun week.

2004-08-17T10:18:00.000+08:00

Sop Factor One, Mr Sulu

(Warning: This post contains a large dose of gushing)

In the fashion adopted by exes throughout the ages, I was yesterday asked, "Why Lee?"

There are a million reasons why I love Lee, but none stand out so clearly as the reason I found at 3:45 this morning.

I spent most of last night in pain. My chest and back felt as if someone had placed a steel band around them and was slowly winding it tighter. By 3:30 I was struggling for breath. I'd been having asthma attacks since Sunday night. That and the huge amounts of Ventolin taken in had taken their toll. Lee, sensing my distress, (I was also having a panic attack by this stage) woke up and asked if I was okay. Quickly realising I was not, he grabbed 2 Panadol and ran me a hot bath with lavender oil in it. I was shaking uncontrollably by the time he helped me into it. Placing a handtowel across my chest, he continued to talk to me as he poured water over it. It took about 15 minutes, but my body began to respond to both the medication and the care.
By 4:30 I was tucked up back in bed and was comfortable enough to fall asleep for the first time. I know my being sick terrifies Lee, especially as this pregnancy progresses. Yet he remained calm and in control the whole time. He is the most attentive and caring person I have ever met and I adore him.

Lee's Residency Day Two

A slack morning as I recuperate from last night. Erin's at Child Care today. I have a doctor's appointment at 11 to find out why my asthma has become so bad then uni this afternoon. I love uni. I've always enjoyed the learning process, but I especially love coming home and discussing it all with Lee. It's fantastic to have a long discussion with someone who understands what I'm talking about. It also helps clarify what I've taken in. The unit I'm doing is quite difficult, but by rehashing the lecture and how I applied it in the tute, I come away with the knowledge that I really did get it. A nice feeling.

Aftermath

After last night/this morning Lee and I are in the process of rethinking the home birth idea. My doctor warned me recently that an asthma attack in labour would deprive the baby of oxygen. It's one thing to weigh up the risks to myself, it's quite another to weigh them up for Connor. I'm thinking the birthing centre at King Eddie's could be a good alternative. It's set up like home, but is close enough to the hospital if there are any problems. My best friend Sharon has taken it upon herself to find out if St John's Ambulance hire out Oxyvivas. She's doing a course with them at the moment for her work so is asking them today. She's taking her role as our support person very seriously.

Take care and have fun.

2004-08-16T20:10:00.000+08:00

Residency Day One (A Wife's Perspective)

So, Battboy toddles off to become a full-time writah-dahling leaving me at home on my own. While he's at the centre (where he has both Tim Tams AND Ferrero Rochers at his fingertips) I go it alone for the first time in seven months.

This is how my day went.

8:00 Battboy leaves with the boys. He's dropping them off at school on the way. I chat to Sharon about recent events in the TriffBatt house-hold. She gushes about boyfriend Chris (ain't new love grand? :)) Take Erin to potty. Wash potty.

8:30 Sharon leaves. I begin first of four loads of washing up. (Dinner party last night. See Lee's blog) Take Erin to potty. Wash potty.

9:00 Throw boys' weekend washing in machine. Hang out three loads that are already sitting there. Turn computer on. Refill sink and begin second load of washing up. Take Erin to potty. Wash potty.

9:15 Read emails. Begin war of words with ex-husband. This will continue for some time. Take Erin to potty. False alarm. Just wants a sticker. Deal with tantrum.

9:45 Decide to buy some petrol and put money in bank. Realise Battboy has car seat and pram, leaving me grounded. Take Erin to potty. Wash potty. Find a sticker.

9:50 Drag Erin out any way (we are, after all, only a 5 minute walk from Galleria. 5 minutes when you're not pregnant or nearly 3. 15 minute walk when you're one of these. 23 minutes when you're both.) Go to two banks and a lawyer's office.

11:30 Return home. Phone lawyer's office. After about 20 minutes of utter silence, realise that it might be time to check on Erin. I finally track her down to her bed. She's fast asleep. Slush four stories for ASIM.

1:00 Praise Erin for putting herself to bed. Wish she'd thought to put a nappy on herself before doing so. Strip bed and put on another load of washing. Wash third load of dishes.Take Erin to potty. Wash potty and floor around potty.

1:30 Feed Erin lunch. Wash fourth load of dishes. Burn my lunch. Heat up another bread roll. Eat that. Take Erin to potty. Wash potty. Give Erin her toothbrush with strict instructions not to use it on the potty.

2:45 Write about 600 words on a story called "And Still I Dance Under An Ochre Moon." This finishes story off nicely. Take Erin to potty. Wash potty and retrieve toothbrush from toilet. Throw in bin.

3:15 Put Erin in bath. Work through another three stories for ASIM. Decide I'm not doing any more. Find that I've completed them all anyway. No potty. Yay.

3:45 Dress Erin in pyjamas and read her a story. Put a nappy on Erin. She immediately says she needs the potty. I tell her "later."

4:30 Battboy comes home. Is greeted by two whirling dervishes who try to strangle him with their affection. Erin tells Lee she wants potty. Yay me again.

4:45 Off to cheese and bikkie thing.

6:25 Leave cheese and bikkie thing.

6:50ish Get home. Yay. Put Erin on potty. Wash potty. Disinfect for tomorrow. Potty now cleanest thing I've ever owned. Put Erin to bed and relax on couch while waiting for four shots of ventolin to work.

Now. About to collapse. Have a great week.

PS Okay, I only wrote about 10% of Lee's word count, but have you compared our day??? :) Did I mention the Tim Tams????????

2004-08-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

The weekend that was

Battboy and I spent the day at the KSP centre yesterday. In the morning we had the Word-Thirst 2 launch which gave us an opportunity to show our stuff and sign our names on things. I actually had some people come up and tell me how much they loved my story The Dolphins of Haven Bay which was a bit of a thrill. I like didn't know them or anything.
The afternoon was the SF awards for which Lee received a Commended for his story Dark Ages. This is a story I've always felt uncomfortable with, but that doesn't change the fact that it's an excellent piece of fiction. I was very proud of him.
My best friends Sharon and Shirley came along with their kids to show their support. Shirley's girls Laura and Ambrosea were brilliant as they kept the Battbrat entertained all the long day. Erin never handles such outings well, but the girls kept her going in the garden and with the contents of their handbags.
A gorgeous moment however. I stood up at the podium to read an extract of Dolphins. Erin followed me, stood by my side, turned to the audience with her finger to her lips and gave a stern "shhhhhhhh". Every one giggled, including the proud mummy, then settled down to hear it. Who needs a publicist when you have a 2 and a 1/2 year old?

The awful bit was: my kids weren't there. It just felt wrong to be having this nice family time without Casi, Aiden and Blake. Everyone asked where they were which made it even harder.

On the positive side

Battboy and I came home raring to go on our writing. Lee got really sick however at about 5 o'clockish and was in no condition to do anything other than crawl into bed. Undeterred, I alternated between my laptop, Erin's dinner, Erin's bedtime and nursing my extremely sick man.
In between mopping his brow, running him a bath, and stroking his back, I started work on a new story currently called Unnatural Selection (until another title turns up). I managed 1540ish words last night and added 3220ish today for a grand total of 4761. It took 20 hours (or 9 if you include bedtime, chasing after Erin, meals and giving Erin a lolly every time she used the potty) but it's now complete. Lee started to feel better after lunch today and joined me on the couch this afternoon for a spot of restorative writing. He's working on Father Muerte and the Flesh at the moment and has written about 2500 words so far. We call those sort of word counts "moving into Adrian Bedford territory" :)

I'm really pleased with myself for both my determination in getting the story written and for the story itself. I actually had this idea about 6 weeks ago but have been wrestling with how to start it. Yesterday the opening scene came to me in a flash and I was off. I think the story is of the same quality as my current favourite story The Memory of Breathing (appearing in Andromeda Spaceways issue 18 which comes out next August). It's the first time in a long while that I've actually felt moved by passion rather than "I really must throw some words down."

And now for the obligatory baby update

Connor is now 22 and a 1/2 weeks. He kicks constantly and I feel pretty good. I'm huge!!! Everyone comments on how big I am and how big my boy must be. He's not. He's your average 22 week old size, or maybe a little smaller. I'm hoping he remains that way. I don't want to give birth to something Erin-size.

I watched Compass last night which featured a documentary about abortion. I've always been anti but I'm always open to other peoples' opinions. The woman presenting it was Pro-Choice, but was facing a dilemma in the face of the fact she was about to give birth to her first child (second pregnancy. She aborted her first at the age of 21). I found all this interesting as she was exactly my age and aborted her baby at the same age and in the same year that I fell pregnant with Casi. Using 4D ultrasound technology she showed what a 23 week old foetus looks like (they can abort up to 20 weeks in Australia and 24 in the UK where the doco was filmed). I looked at this amazing picture and immediately thought of Connor. He's nearly 23 weeks so I could see clearly what he looks like at the moment. He's just like a person, only smaller. Huge Wow factor.

Well, that's enough for me. Have a nice week and take care.

PS Lee has just finished Father Muerte and the Flesh. Total word count is 5029. 2979 today.

2004-07-31T00:16:00.000+08:00

News

Lee has been shortlisted for the KSP SF&F awards for his story "Dark Ages". I'm extremely proud of him.

Yes, I'm disappointed not to have received anything, but then I received some really awful news in the mail and it put everything in perspective. I can't talk about it here because certain people out there read my blog so I'll keep it to myself and my close personal friends for now. Needless to say, I'm devastated.

On another note: I've just become a proper real true-to-life aunty. My brother Raymond and his partner Donna had their first baby (but second for Donna) on Wednesday, a little girl named Grace Lily. Like us, they knew the sex beforehand, and like us, chose a name as soon as they found out. Connor will have a little cousin who is 4 months older than him. So cool.
My children only have girl cousins. Jon's brother recently added a girl to that side of the family.
I have a brother, a step-brother and a step-sister through my mother's side (I also apparently have half-siblings on my father's, including a half-sister two weeks older than me but as I don't know him they don't count). My brother has a daughter and a step-daughter, my step-brother has a daughter, and my step-sister has two daughters. I have a daughter and a step-daughter. Now here's the interesting bit. In this family of women, I'm the only one to deliver boys. I have two already and one on the way. I feel curiously proud of this.
Of course throwing step-cousins through my relationship with Lee changes things. Lee has two nephews from his brother Scott.

Normal Life

Had a hospital appointment on Wednesday. Naturally, the doctor tried to put me off a home birth, due to all the dangers (I'm an asthmatic so the baby will be deprived of oxygen during labour; as a woman who's already given birth three times I have a higher chance of bleeding to death, etc etc). Lee was rather shaken by it all. I told him that if he's at all uncomfortable with the idea of a home birth, then naturally I will change my plan. This is his labour too. He will never be totally at ease with the idea of me having a baby whether at home or in hospital, but I want him to be as comfortable as possible.

Writing

No words as yet for this week, but I'm itching to go. I have, however, spent last night and this morning organising my files so that my laptop and my pc agree and so I have floppy copies.
I set up a folder called "The current 6" which holds the six stories I've chosen to complete to publication standard. This way I won't be overwhelmed by the sight of the forty-odd stories and ideas I have waiting for my attention.

Weekend plans

An Erin-free weekend. Yay! We're off to the hospital to see Grace with the older three children tonight and then dinner at Scott's house tomorrow night. A quiet one other than that. I think we need it after the school holidays. Erin's continuing to wake in excess of 4 times a night which we're finding exhausting so a weekend of sleep is just what the doctor ordered (literally).

Spreading the word

Introduced my best friend Sharon to Coupling last weekend. We were both really depressed over the week we'd had, so got together for a drink and dvd. She couldn't stop laughing. Coupling is one of the funniest series I've ever seen and I'm eager to share it with all and sundry.

Okay, well that's me done for now. Time to get the Batt Brat out of the bath.
Have a great weekend.

2004-07-27T10:58:00.000+08:00

The last word

Big Brother is finally finished. This will be my last post on the subject (unless there's any good goss that follows).

So Trev won. To be honest, I wouldn't have minded who won. I liked Bree and I liked Trevor, but I probably would have been more excited if Bree had taken out the million.

What I didn't like however, was Trevor's on-screen marriage proposal. At the time it made me all girly, but then I noticed something that changed my mind. Breea had no sooner accepted than she was pushed out of the way to make room for Gretel and the other housemates.

Now, to my way of thinking, and correct me if I'm wrong, a marriage proposal is an intimate and beautiful moment between a man and woman. The public display of love was romantic (no chance she'd answer with "Oh look, there's the microwave cookbook I've been looking for), but not condusive to the warm and wonderful feeling that a woman feels when the love of her life proposes.

And besides which, he gave her a ring she already owned (her grandmother's. She'd given it to him for his Xmas in July present). The guy's a millionaire now. I'd be expecting him to cough up a rock the size of Rotto.

Life rolls on

I'm off to uni today. My doctor has okayed me to do one unit this semester so I've packed my bag and am ready to face adult life again. I'm excited. My plan is to do one unit this semester (it'll help the weeks pass while waiting for Connor to be born) and one next semester. Hopefully after that I'll be able to take on more of a work load.

Have a great day

2004-07-24T09:52:00.000+08:00

You're joking me...

Ryan's gone! Yaaaaay!!!!! I disliked that man so much. Such a Neanderthal. I left my religion so I wouldn't have to deal with Draconian idiots who believed a woman's place belonged in the 1850's, so I really resented having to watch the attitude there on my TV screen.

On more than one occasion he muttered the words: "Oim giving 2 votes to {insert female housemate's name here) because she's not ladyloike enough. She swears, which isn't roight for a woman.

I'm the first to admit I don't like swearing, but it's an attitude that I apply across the sexes.

Losing Ryan was one of the hoighloights of my week.

Next stop, Paul.

What a week...

Just when you think it's safe to give up alcohol for the sake of your unborn child, life serves you up a week from hell. I'll fill my friends in when we meet up next.

But then again...

Every night Lee and I go through our "lists of five". This is five good things that happened to us during the day. On reflection I've had quite a good week on the whole. Here's a list of five for the week.

I've had my kids home and they've been an absolute joy. Apart from an argument with Cass on Saturday night I haven't had an ounce of trouble all week. The kids have been fabulous. (Naturally, as I'm writing this, they start arguing over gambling rules :))
Toilet training is now back on track. Erin gets a jelly bean each time she goes to the toilet. Right now the other three are trying to convince me that since they also go to the toilet and don't need nappies they should also get lollies.
Lee's at the KSP Book-In-A-Day. This is where he pays good Australian dollars for the privilege of getting together with a bunch of other authors to put together a write in one day. It's for charity with proceeds going to PMH. I was supposed to go too, but with 4 kids it was impossible for us both to attend. Even with just Erin it was impossible and so Lee's going. He suggested I go but as he's the bigger name, I declined.
Oh of course! Nemo. He's a boy. 'Nemo' is slowly being phased out as we get used to calling our boy 'Connor'. We had our 20 week ultrasound this week. The mid-wife came yesterday for my monthly check up. She deciphered the ultrasound notes for me and proclaimed everything "perfect for a normal delivery".
Blake was incredibly cute the other day. We were watching TV when the Cadbury ad came on. We got to chatting about what it would be like to live in a world of chocolate (hormonal women the world over unite to make this dream a reality). We talked about the sun and how not only would it melt all the chocolate, but would also melt itself. Lee said "That's impossible, because chocolate is dark," to which my little darling suggested "Not if it was made from light chocolate". We nearly killed ourselves laughing.
(Yes I know it was meant to be 5 but...) I'm very proud of Lee. He met his 10,000 word count on his novel this week which was, if I can quote Paul (and I think I can) "Huge, mate!" He wanted to have it done by mid-August. It wasn't easy, but he reached it with room to spare.

Okay, I'm off to get this day going. We're off to Lee's nephews birthday party tomorrow so the kids and I are heading out to buy Harrison a present.

Have a lovely weekend.

2004-07-19T09:33:00.000+08:00

Look, colour.

Blogger has seen fit to give us a whole lot of new options, including colour. Yay!

Holidays

I've had my children home for the past week and it's been fantastic. Apart from the usual teenage angst, we've had a great time. We went to the zoo, and to my best friend's party and, well, heaps of stuff. I love being with the kids. It's horrible when they're not here. This week we're doing Sci-Tech.

Although...

We've all been struck down with a cold of one variety and another. I'm the last to have it and I'm siiiiiiick. I have the sort of cough that makes you think of old smokers and a roaring head and neck ache. Erin's gone to her grandparents for a few days because I've just been too sick to deal with her and the other three and their illnesses. Being sick has meant that I've needed rest and a break. Unlike the rest of the house I can't take medications to make myself feel better so someone had to go and it had to be our girl. We miss her, but I'm really appreciating the sleep (and the relative quiet :)).

Progress

Lee went off to the KSP SF group yesterday. I decided to use the time productively. I asked Blake to bring me my lap-top and Aiden to grab me a bowl of raw Nutri-Grain and then propped myself up in bed for a spot of writing. I chose The Rat's Tale, a story I started over a year ago for Rob Hood and Robin Pen's Daikaiju collection. After two hours I had not only managed to add 1208 words to the story but brought it to a close. Yay me! I felt very pleased with myself because it's the first spot of "real" writing I've done since falling pregnant. The story reads quite well and I'm a happy girl. Now to get Lee to give it a going over for me.

Big Brother

I can't say I was entirely surprised that Catherine went last night. I was hoping it would be either Ryan or Paul, but I was pretty sure it would be Cat. I think in the end it will come down to Paul and Bree. Trevor may be a quiet stayer but I think he'll go Friday.

Be happy and have a lovely week!!!

2004-07-07T09:39:00.000+08:00

Quick catch up

It's a long time between blogs so for the benefit of those who care, I thought I'd bring everyone up to speed.

Ummm......

Hmmmm....

Oh, I've had two stories accepted for publication. One with Word Thirst 2 (non-paying but at least it's a publication to list) and the other with ASIM (paying but not until some time next year). I seem to have drunk my creativity well dry lately, so this good news will hopefully spur me on again.

The story with ASIM is the one that I'm proudest of. Titled "The Memory of Breathing" it's a story that took about a month to write and then about 2 months to edit. The biggest compliment I've received came from our very own Dave Luckett, who told me "Please don't make me read stuff like that again. It kept me awake all night thinking about the ramifications. I'm an old man and I need my sleep. It scared the hell out of me."

Just when you thought it was safe to change the channel. Big Brother thoughts

Lee and I both voted for Paul last week, though we both agreed that it would be Ashaley to go. Imagine our surprise when we watched Bree being evicted. Bree is pretty much the only house-mate that we both like. She's interesting, intelligent and is capable of standing up to the boys. Lee would probably add that she looks good in a pair of jeans :) (What is it about men and jeans????)

Monday morning I decided to take some 'me' time and have a long soak in the tub. Lee came bursting in with the news that there'd been a mistake and that Bree was going back in. We receive news updates via our email, so we got it pretty much as soon as it happened.

We've become rather bored by BB lately and I was actually contemplating doing some work at 7pm this week. Not now though. Have to see who goes tomorrow night. Then three days later another 2 go.

Here's an update on my Housemate opinions.

Paul - Hated him at first, but I've grown rather fond of him. He's morally upright when it comes to relationships and is obviously in love with his wife and kids. I do still tend to vote for him though. I'd like to keep him in, but I don't want him to win.

Bree - Love her. Strong, intelligent, not afraid to confront Paul and use his own tactics against him. I'd be happy if she won. Especially now.

Wesley - Cute, but far too aware of the radar and his place below it. He also has the ugliest brothers in the world, yet somehow they manage to look like him. Scary. They all seem to get their hair done at 'bleached-blonde-razor-cuts-R-us'.

I didn't like the way he didn't own up to posing the "who's not pulling their weight" question so I don't respect him. No winner here.

Ashaley - Just like my daughter, only older. Casi thinks she's wonderful. I just shake my head in horror at what she (Ashaley) comes out with. I know if she and Casi met, they'd be best friends. I wouldn't give Casi $1,000,000 so therefore...

Catherine - Just like me, only younger (by two years). I like her a lot. I'd happily give me $1,000,000 so therefore...

Trevor - He's lovely. He's funny, sensitive, sweet, but not very forthcoming with opinions, which irks me. I don't mind if he wins, but I'd rather he didn't.

Ryan - This guy went to the toilet in his jeans whilst on a time-trial with the Crows. No prize for the man. Can't stand him.

Monica - When Monica came into the house, I actually thought she could become the first intruder to take home the big prize. Then she broke the big rule.

She went into the house with a boyfriend. Not a problem in and of itself. It's the making up to Ryan that gets me going. Either she's committed to her boyfriend or she's not. Flirtation is one thing, but she's gone beyond that. I hope she goes very soon. I also hope her boyfriend dumps her sorry butt on stage.

And now onto other things...

I'm 18 weeks pregnant today. I'm getting heaps of movement. The boys are always feeling my tummy in the hope they'll feel it too, but no luck. Lee tends to rub my stomach whilst talking. He's very touchy-feely about it all, which is lovely. I hope the baby makes big movements soon, so my three boys can be rewarded.

I have an ultrasound next week. I also have my kids next week and for the whole of the school holidays. I'm hoping that they'll be allowed in to see the baby. This time we can find out the sex if we want. We've decided to ask them to write it down and put it in an envelope.

Okay, that's all for today. Enjoy the rest of the week.

2004-06-25T13:17:00.000+08:00

Who Am I?

Just did this quiz from Callisto's site called "Who is your inner bombshell." I guessed I'd end up this person. She's one of my personal heroes.

WORSHIP! You're inner Bombshell is the beautiful
Audrey Hepburn. Like her you've been blessed
with a "certain something" that no
one could describe accurately. You are more
reserved than other bombshells, and that shows
in your gentle, graceful nature. You like doing
things for other people and love volunteering
for your favorite charity. Yours is a rare gift
in this day and age. You don't need to show a
lot of skin to be sexy, all you need is your
eyes. To see Audrey at the top of her game
watch the movie "Breakfast at
Tiffanys".

Who is your inner bombshell?
brought to you by Quizilla

It's been a while

since I last posted. I'm now 16 weeks pregnant and turned 35 yesterday. I met my midwife Lynda today. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat which was way cool. I've been getting quite a bit of movement the past few days. Lee and I have finalised names. Connor James for a boy and Keeley Hope for a girl. Hope as a middle name has been on the cards pretty much from the beginning. When I started having the threatened miscarriage, we were pretty worried, yet everytime we had some good news we'd respond with "We still have hope." I said to Lee "I think we should make Hope a middle name is it's a girl. He agreed.

My children are about to become cousins for the first and second time in pretty quick succession. My brother Raymond and his wife Donna are due to have a baby in 5 weeks and Jon's brother David and his wife Andrea are due soonish too. The kids'll have lots of babies around them and by Christmas they'll have a little brother or sister too. The boys are constantly touching my stomach.

Happy birthday to me

As I mentioned I turned 35 yesterday. Lee and I went up to the Word Thirst group at KSP where I was given a card and they had a cake for morning tea and everything. It was lovely. One of the girls gave me a bouquet of flowers, too.

Creative mummy

I recently wrote a children's story called "Amy and Kate Have Two Mummies." I wrote it for the 3-8 year market to show the different ways that children gain step-parents. I read it out yesterday at KSP where it went down a treat. Everyone loved it. Now to give it texture, flesh it out and send it off.

Good friends, good moods

Had Stephen and Elaine over for dinner last night. It was a really fantastic night. Lee and I have been feeling creatively low lately but after over 5 hours in their company we both woke up today feeling rejuvenated and ready to go again.

What on earth...

I am soooo big. Bigger than with my other children at this stage. I've been feeling rather self-conscious about it as everyone looks at me and says "But you're only 16 weeks. You're huge." The midwife assured me this morning that that's quite normal for a fourth baby. I just pointed to Erin, replying "I'm still scared." :)

I feel good, despite the pain. I still need to rest a lot and my doctor gets cranky if I do anything more than walk to the letterbox and back. I'm in my second trimester now and feel that middle period happiness.

Lee is still extremely overprotective. Tapping on the keyboard is just about the most strenuous thing he'll allow me to do.

Still, problems aside, I feel good, like might actually have a baby in 24 weeks.

Big Brother stuff

I'm voting for Kane this week. I can't stand him.

For the record, I respect Merlin's little stunt the other week. I didn't think much of him during the week preceding the eviction (what a whiner!) but I agree with the stance he made and the reasons behind them.

2004-06-06T12:07:00.000+08:00

I'm baaaack

It's taken a couple of months but I finally feel like writing again. Last night Battboy and I watched Julius Caesar. After this we got into a discussion about the Caesarean dynasty and the fall of first the Republic and then the Empire. As per usual, our conversation ended up taking a 180 degree turn and we got onto genetic manipulation and population control. This led me onto a story idea that we spent nearly 2 hours hashing out. Today I wrote the first 500 words and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm hoping to send it to Nigel for Superluminal. At this stage I think it's going to have to be a novella.

One thing I'm good at it writing about people. I'm a people watcher so my stories tend to be character driven. I like putting my characters in a situation and seeing how they react.

Look, up in the sky

An Erin Free Weekend, so Lee and I went to the movies. Generally I let Battboy choose the movie and I follow along. This time I made my feelings known. I wanted to see The Day After Tomorrow. I have a huge fear of flying, so I mainly wanted to see it for the 'airplane in distress' scene. I loved the movie, but the plane scene was over almost before it started (didn't stop me from gouging skin from Lee's thigh however). I'm a bit of a fan of Jake Gyllenhaal after his slightly unhinged performance in Donnie Darko but I actually thought his character was a little bland in this particular story. In fact, all the characters were rather pat. Lee and I differed on the roles of the supporting cast. I thought they were given too much air time, thereby taking the story away from the main cast, whereas Battboy thought they didn't get any more than token back stories.

All in all though, I enjoyed it. I tend to easily become submerged in story lines, so for me it was pure escapism.

The bad news is: The wolves sucked rotten eggs.

The good news is, as far as Australia goes, only people in Albany will be affected by the Ice Age.

Off to the food and wine festival tonight followed by dinner and eviction at Kylie's. Have a great week.

2004-05-30T16:46:00.000+08:00

Rant

Have started getting into the whole wedding thing. My dress is chosen, my daughter's put in her order for her bridesmaid's dress and I'm thinking of flower schemes. So naturally my thoughts have turned to my hair.

Apparently short-haired women don't get married. It must be like a law or something. I've perused about 6 bridal magazines in the 7 months since Battboy and I decided to do the deed. Funnily enough, all hair seems to be long, thick and totally in control. Nothing at all suitable for my short, baby-fine, windswept strands.

Even being short goes against me. Decided the other day that I wanted a pair of trousers and some tracksuit pants to see me through pregnancy. Let me fill you in on a little secret. Short women don't have babies. On the other hand, being tall is also a handicap. Only average-sized women fall pregnant. Everything I looked out not only came past my ankles but continued on past the toes of my shoes and into the next cubicle.

So here I am, engaged and pregnant and feeling totally annoyed. In the end I chose a pair of three-quarter length tracksuit pants. They fit me perfectly, ending exactly at the soles of my heels. No, of course they weren't maternity. I had to take a size 16 with the thought that I'd 'grow' into them.

Isn't it bad enough that I have to buy my shoes from the children's section??????

But I am cute...

Just did this "What 80's toy are you?" quiz

Here's the result...

You're My Little Pony!! Sweet and innocent and
happy, you make people want to spew burrito
chunks. Even a Care Bear could kick your ass.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Lee's an etch-a-sketch.

Off to Calli's and John's now for BB. Go Paul!!! And I mean that literally. Go as in, get out, get lost, you're not wanted here any more.

Have a loverly week. May it be filled with sunshine and shortcake and hugs and love.

God, my life as a pony sucks.

2004-05-27T13:53:00.000+08:00

A milestone met

12 weeks down. Lee took my photo today. We take one every four weeks to chart the progress of my growing tummy. I actually lost a kilo this week, so why does my stomach look bigger?
12 weeks is exciting. Next Wednesday I begin my second trimester. The first has been awful. Hopefully the second will see an improvement.

Decisions

As my friends are aware, Battboy and I have been looking into our birthing options. My last three babies were born in hospital, after inductions, drugs and vaccuum extractions. This time I thought I'd like a home birth. I like the thought of labouring in the comfort of my own home where I'm free to wander around, take a bath, watch tv, or whatever. It also solves the "what are we going to do with the children?" problem. All our friends live so far away we were worrying about dropping the kids off with their dad if we have them, Erin with, well, whoever gets suckered into looking after her and then making our way to hospital. This is my fourth labour. Time may not be on our side. This way Lee can deal with the kids while I stay put and either await his return, or alternatively we keep them close while I'm in labour and then I can actually give birth in the privacy of my bedroom. (I'm voting for the first option).
Anyway, yesterday I put my application in for a homebirth, and not a moment too soon. It has to be done by 12 weeks to qualify for government assistance. After that you have to pay for it yourself. I basically got the information, filled out the form and emailed it straight back. And this morning we got our reply. I've been allocated a midwife named Linda who'll be with me from start to finish. Yay!!!

To be honest I was quite surprised that Lee went with the whole homebirthing idea. He's so protective of me, I'd have thought he'd want me in a hospital with hot and cold running nurses and drugs on tap. Then he pointed out the obvious. There are no guarantees, even in hospital. He should know, I guess.

Of course, giving birth in hospital would give me three days off. And an induction would also guarantee a solution to the kid thing, but I'm happy with a homebirth. At the moment.

Music
An extra hour of music has been added to the baby collection. I have nearly 4 hours worth now. Nemo will now be able to add "Manfred Mann" and "Status Quo" to its early memories.

It's....whatever it is

My kids keep asking whether I think I'm having a boy or a girl (funnily enough Casi is convinced it's a girl, while Aiden and Blake are sure it's a boy). I think it's a boy. In all my previous pregnancies I was sure it was a girl. I got it right once. I have to get this one right just so as to even up the ratio.

And another decision

Recently I decided to give up writing. I just lost the passion for it. Today, however, has seen a change. I want to get back to my novel, the one where Merlin rapes a dragon. I've always seen myself as a novelist, yet somehow managed to find myself waylaid by short stories. I've always promised myself that when I placed my sixth story I'd consider my apprenticeship fulfilled and start on novels again. One story left...

In the meantime, while waiting for that last story to sell, I think I'll get back to the novel at hand.

2004-05-25T17:41:00.000+08:00

You're outta here

Had a great night with Calli, John, Splanky, M Squared and a whole group of others watching the BB eviction on Sunday. Ju and her partner Kenada (sorry about the incorrect spelling but I don't know how it's spelt) hosted and put on a lovely dinner. Opinions ran firmly against Igor and, happy to say, we were right. I love eviction night, but it was even better when joined by a rowdy group of friends.

The highlight of the show was not Igor's departure, but Paul's display of racism. Naturally Battboy and I watched the nomination last night. As soon as it became obvious that Paul was doomed, we ran to our phones. Here's hoping his sorry backside is ejected. (Sorry about the strong language :))

Friends, Romans, Countrymen...

Due to two days of horrendous pain, I've been forced to return to the "Lying down with feet up" state of play. With little else to do, I raided Lee's vid collection and came up with I, Claudius. Brian Blessed is god. The child playing young Claudius is wonderful and I know I've seen the one playing Herod Agrippa before. I think another day of laziness, oops I mean recuperation, should see me right.

Am I fat?

Took my daughter Casi out the other day to buy my first maternity outfit. All my normal clothing is too small. I bought a lovely skirt that looks good and feels really comfortable. Casi was funny. She's very opinionated (she is, afterall, 13) and was quite vocal in what modern mothers are wearing. She has does, however, display a definite preference for overalls which were far too expensive. During my previous pregnancies I went with the loose flowing style of the time. This time around I've chosen to pay homage to Nicky Buckley and take pride in my growing stomach.

That's all for now. Be happy.

2004-05-22T07:03:00.000+08:00

I have an opinion...

Much to Battboy's disgust, I'm rather addicted to Big Brother. I admit it, I'm a compulsive people watcher (not a voyeur as the police keep insisting :)). I love watching the housemates as they struggle to dominate (Aphrodite, Paul), hide in the background (Trevor, Kane, Wesley) or simply fit in (Igor, Terri). I'm also fascinated by the eminantly stupid (Ashalea, Elle, Krystal, Ryan) and the delightfully cute (Merlin)

Here is a rundown as to how I view the House personalities (in no particular order).

Bree. I'm slim and attractive, sort of like Jo from the last house, but not a slut. Notice me enough to like me, but not to vote for me.

Igor. I'm lazy. And a liar (Like we believe the whole 'My ex-girlfriend's out to get me' line? Puhlease.) I also have the personal habits of an orangutan. This amuses me. You should feel honoured that I share my body stenches with you.

Merlin. Vulnerable. Sweet. Please ruffle my hair and pinch my cheeks.

Krystal. I used to be a stripper. Oh god, did I really tell you that? I hope you don't hold it against me. By the way. Did I mention I used to be a stripper?

Paul. I have an opinion. Your opinion doesn't matter. You're all lowlife scum and should be kissing my ... feet. I surf, therefore I'm superior in my knowledge of how real life actually works.

Terri. I also have an opinion and I'm gonna talk all over your opinion and drown you out so no one hears it. Lalalalalalalalala.

And further more: You all nominated me, so I'm gonna shower with my clothes on. Yeah, like that's why you nominated me. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with my inflexible (abrasive) personality.

Wesley. Ummm, you're looking at me. (Smile smile) Oh, look. Is that something shiny? (run run)

Kane. I also surf, but if you want my opinion ask Paul.

Catherine. Is that a radar? Let me duck under it. I have children so I've decided to be the mother figure in the house.

Aphrodite. Boohoo. Waaaaah. Sniff.

Elle. People nominated me? You must all really hate me. Boohoo. Waaaaah. Sniff.

Ashalea. Plastic is the new black. Vietnam War? What's that? (One has to wonder if she's doing a Reggie. Could anyone really be that stupid?)

Ryan.(and I quote) "I'm gonna keep doing it (the diving maneouveur that ended in a broken nose) and if I end up with another broken nose then I'll take it on the chin. (Another contender for the Reggie award. Lee and I ended up ROFLAOing on this one)

Trevor. I'm Louie the Fly, I'm Louie the Fly... I'm just as lovely as Merlin, and therefore a contender for the $1,000,000, but while Merlin happily shares his thoughts and actions with the others, I tend to hide behind Paul's shadow.

So there you have it. Feel free to agree or disagree via Lee's opinion page.

It's Saturday, so...

No Big Brother. We do, however, have the FA cup final. Manchester United go up against Millwall. I've been a Man U fan since about December so I'm rather excited. I have the scarf, the shorts, the crop top and the hat. I'm prepared. (Special thanks go out to my brother Raymond and his partner Donna for filling my request on their recent trip to the UK).
I got into the soccer about a year ago when the last FA cup was on. I don't remember who played, because I spent the night putting Lee's hair into tiny plaits. It did, however, give me a taste of 'coupleness'. Lee and I started spending one hour a week watching the Premier League highlights together. Over the months I got to watch the players, form opinions and make a decision as to who I follow. It was close. Fulham has the cutest manager in Chris Coleman, but in the end, Man U delivered with Ruud Van Nistlerooy, who is not only a brilliant and inspired player, but is also absolutely delicious. I just want to spread him on toast and eat him for breakfast.
Seriously though, there are players in the league whose performances really impress me. Scholes stands out, and Saha, Van Nistlerooy, and sometimes Kiely. Pires and Ameobi can be lovely to watch too.
And of course Makelele. His performance is okay, but my god that name. I wonder if Lee's considered Makelele as a possibility??? :))) I just love saying it.

Recently however, I went on soccer strike for a couple of weeks. Lee has made no bones about his extremely low opinion of BB and those who watch it. He absolutely refused to sit and watch it with me. So I decided it was time for some spousal button pressing. I refused to watch soccer with him. I pointed out that I'd spent a year by his side watching a sport that I'm not really a huge fan of, yet he wouldn't do the same for me. Not only does he now plant his backside next to mine during the daily show, he also suffers through Uncut for me.

But wait there's more...

This week he even picked up his mobile and voted against Elle. Okay, I'd told him to vote for Terri (I can't stand her) but at least it's a start...
Mwahahahahaha

Sigh, bliss

My kids are visiting for the weekend. I'm loving it. Last night the four kids were all busy doing their own things on the loungeroom floor. I just lay on the couch, closed my eyes, and listened to them exist within my world. Aiden and Blake fought over the playstation, Casi whined about something hormonal and Erin cried for her dinner. Yes, it was noise, but it was noise that makes it home.
Later, after Erin had gone to bed, we all curled up in front of the heater and watched Joe Dirt. I miss the kids so much. I know Jon's good with them and that he loves them (and they love him) but that doesn't mean that I don't feel the pain of separation each and every day. These kids have been my life for 14 years and I miss them heaps. I went and saw the doctor the other day. She said I'm going through a grieving process similar to death. That's exactly what it's like.

On that note, I'm off to break up another round of arguing. Take care and have a lovely weekend.

2004-05-13T17:22:00.000+08:00

To be or not to be...

a writer. I'm having troubles getting the old creative juices flowing at the moment. My concentration has turned inwards as I focus on staying pregnant. I tend to wake up in the morning, get Erin ready for the day, catch up on a bit of slush or other reading, have breakfast, take the myriad of "anti-miscarriage" pills, drops and herbs prescribed by my naturopath, then head back to bed for my first nap of the day. After this I'm allowed to watch trashy television (feet up of course)and go through my mail. The day tends to pass in a haze (especially now that we're keeping the Battbrat home) and before I know it, it's time for bed. Writing seems the lowest priority in a really stressful existence. Even Blogging has become a strain.

It's all about the music

Started to compile my "having a baby" cd for hospital. I spent a merry hour or so today choosing songs that will see me through the turbulence of labour. I now have an eclectic 3 hours of songs sitting on Battboy's computer, waiting to be downloaded. I'd tell you what they are, but with copyright laws etc... Hopefully labour won't take longer than 3 hours. I also hope the baby's partial to Queen :)

Maybe I should start a survey. What do YOU think I should play for my new baby :) Go on to Lee's list and let us know.

Have a lovely day.

2004-05-04T15:45:00.000+08:00

9 Weeks and counting

With everything still being touch-and-go with the baby, I've been forced to spend a lot of time resting. Every now and then I send Lee out to the library to update the Practical Parenting magazines and grab some videos. I even managed to step out of the house for half an hour the other day so we could raid Planet Video. The upshot of all this is that I spend about half my waking time reading about the latest in breast pump design, and the other half reliving the Rachel/Ross saga on Friends. Sometime I can accomplish both by watching Series 8 :)

It hasn't all been about Friends, however. Yesterday we decided to hire The Prisoner on DVD. WOW! As a result, Battboy and I have spent the last 24 hours discussing the biblical subtext of the series and the moral/physical/social/emotional ramifications of letting evil loose in Eden. I would love to write an essay on The Prisoner, a deconstructive attempt looking at free will versus the greater good. I've got 31 weeks up my sleeve-- can anyone think of a better way to spend it?

Can I buy a vowel?

9 weeks in and we've decided on baby names. Because of all the problems, we've decided to find out the sex ASAP. The reality of the pregnancy continuing is tenuous at best, but we thought that giving 'Nemo' a name and finding out its gender would help us identify with the little being we're trying so hard to keep.

I'll get by with a little help from my friends

No, I don't mean Monica, Chandler, and the others. I mean everyone out there who has taken the time to contact Lee and I about our difficulties. Thank you all for your thoughts and good wishes. We really appreciate it.

Finally...

Congrats to Shay and Fe on the birth of their baby boy. A big woohoo to youhoo!

2004-04-20T14:22:00.000+08:00

111 Beats Per Minute

That was where Nemo's heartbeat stood when we were at the hospital on Saturday night. Perfectly normal, apparently. I feel okay, the baby's fine, but the point that joins us is not. I'm getting plenty of rest as I try to will my child to stay alive. I'm writing this in bed, and Lee's transcribing it onto my blog. I have a doctor's appointment in 2 hours. I'm praying they still find a heartbeat.

Village

I can't believe the level of support Lee and I have received. Emails are pouring in from all over the country. Thank you to everyone for their support, stories, and prayers.

Not Again

This is my second threatened miscarriage. The first ended in a total loss of the pregnancy. Six weeks later I fell pregnant with my beautiful daughter, Cassandra. She's 13 now. I then went on to carry Aiden and Blake, now 11 and 9. This is my fifth pregnancy. It's likely to be my last. I don't think I can go through this again, with another one. Every time I find evidence the threat is diminishing, I feel hopeful, but then something happens (pain, bleeding...) and grief strikes anew. I'm on a carousel, with my emotions constantly riding up and down as we go round.

As I write this I feel a fluttering in my stomach. I know it's too early for movement, but I like to think it's Nemo communicating his/her will to live.

All My Children

As you may or may not be aware, my ex-husband is trying to take my 3 biological children away from me. I gave them to him for a 3 month trial period because the children were changing their minds constantly about who they wanted to live with. Jon wants to take me to court. I'm fighting to keep all my children with me at the moment. I'm a natural-born mother: it's what I love most in the world. Writing is important to me, but family means so much more. I feel that if I lose the baby, then I lose the whole battle.

Brisbane

Our week in Brisbane was... eventful. Lunch with Geoff and Diana Maloney; dinner with Robert Hoge and Kate Eltham; another with Robert, Kate, Scott, Chris, and Jason from the Vision writing group; the museum; restaurants; markets, the hospital...

It has to be said: the best service we received was at St Andrews Hospital. The staff were brilliant.

I'll talk more about my holiday as I recover.

2004-04-16T08:40:00.000+08:00

Long time, no see

Here we are in sunny Queensland. Swancon is over and now we're biding our time until Conflux. Lee and I were looking forward to catching up with our friends, attending room parties and having a few drinks.

Wrong!!
Oh, we caught up with our friends all right, and we even ducked our head into two room parties, but drinking??? Out of the question! I couldn't due to being pregnant and Lee wouldn't because he's being all Martian about supporting me during this time.

Swancon was still fun, but I have to admit, I found it all rather wearisome. I was constantly tired and suffered a little nausea.

Congratulations...

So as Lee mentioned in one of his previous posts, I'm expecting. The baby is due in November. We're very excited but rather stunned. Only a few weeks ago my doctor informed me that pregnancy was pretty much a non-happening thing. I've been too sick and my body was in no condition to conceive. Ooookaaaay.

We worked out it happened while we were in Albany. I'm happy about this due to the fact that I loved Albany and felt very at home there. Ironically, while we were there I bought a necklace for myself that carries the Japanese symbol for 'Life' on it. Very appropriate.

Off for another day of Queensland sunshine now.

Have a lovely day. Thinking of you all and missing most of you heaps.

2004-04-03T09:58:00.000+08:00

Shopping shopping shopping

I went shopping for new jeans the other night. Came home with three black and one denim mini-skirt from Myer. And some new pretty underwear from Target. And some jewellery from Kleins. Then I tried a different shop because I thought I'd like a new dress for the con. I found the PERFECT top. Very sixties, very cool. I thought "If I don't have this I will die." Then I looked at the price. $50! Now, considering the total cost of my four Myer skirts came to $57 I really couldn't justify it. So I decided "We all have to die sometime" and kept browsing. And found the most delicious bag. It's sort of a thirties style number with a Wizard of Oz scene on it picked out in diamentes. Also $50. I thought "Okay I won't die if I don't have it, but I will be terribly sick." I left for home.

After depositing all my purchases for Lee to view.

"Did you actually end up buying jeans?" came the bemused response.
"Uh, no. I gave up when I knew I wasn't going to be long for this world anyway."
He listened to my tale of woe, handed over $100 and said, "I couldn't bear it if you died for want of clothing and accessories."

God I love this man :)

I'm now the extremely happy owner of the coolest t-shirt and funkiest bag in Perth.

Oh, and a pair of jeans.

But wait, there's more

Went shopping for my daughter's 13th birthday prezzie yesterday. (Those that know me well realise that going shopping for one thing and coming home with another is a common theme.) Once again I found that one item that I just HAD to have. Once again I had Lee's full support, even though I'm only likely to wear it once and not for another year.

Yes! I found my WEDDING DRESS!!!!!!! It's beautiful, it's classic and it made me feel like a real bride. And the price was unbelieveable. Nowhere near the $1000 we'd budgeted. I also brought the necklance and earrings to go with it. I skipped through the streets of Perth, saying "I've got my wedding dress."

I'm a very happy fiancee.

Countdown

5 days to Swancon. In the meantime we're busy with kids this weekend, picnic with friends today, showbag stuffing with Calli and John tomorrow, dinner with my bro and his wife tomorrow night (they've just found out they're having a girl), staff meeting Monday, Casi's birthday Tuesday, hair cuts on Wednesday, Blake's assembly Thursday followed by tattoos and then Swancon. Then panels panels panels.

And...

I sent two stories out this week. Memory of Breathing is on its way to F&SF while The Hanging Tree winged its way through cyberspace to land on one of the Borderlands staff's desktop. Here's hoping.

Gotta go. Off to have a coffee at Dome.

2004-03-29T09:47:00.000+08:00

Gigglefest

Had the kids home for the weekend, which is always wonderful. On Saturday they went to stay with my best-friend Sharon and her two children for the day as Lee and I had to attend his brother's wedding (more about that later). The kids all love Sharon to pieces and had a fantastic time watching videos. Cassie and Sharon's son Sonny are very close which is cute to see. Kirri-Lee adores Erin and uses her at every opportunity to get out of her homework. We're often told "my Killalee". Sharon is brilliant with children and works in Children's Services as a counsellor.
We took Sonny and our oldest three to The Great Escape on Sunday while Erin slept at Sharon's. They had a blast while Lee and I sat and discussed the things we enjoyed about the wedding (the cake was fabulous) and what we'd change (not involving our three year old in the actual ceremony).

The making of Mr and Mrs Battersby

On Saturday Lee went off with Scott to prepare the wedding venue. Lee arrived two hours before the wedding so the two Battmen could...
Sweep the jetty.
With one hour and fifty minutes left, he took his extremely nervous brother to KFC for lunch.
In the meantime, I'd been invited to Amanda's to sit and drink champagne with them as they got ready.
I arrived two hours before the wedding and...
Brought the champagne
Organised Harrison's bath and dressing (and redressing :)) ritual
Applied Amanda's mask
Poured the champage
Did everyone's finger and toe nails
Stripped Amanda's mask
Applied her makeup
Poured more champagne
Entertained Harrison and Zara until Zara was taken off to be dressed at Amanda's sister's house
Poured more champagne
Styled Sherie's hair (a friend)
Got dressed
Took photos.

And we were only five minutes late!

Scott thanked me during the speeches which was nice.

The reception was nice. I got to know Lee's cousins a lot better and it was nice to catch up with them at anything other than a funeral. Scott and Amanda don't have a lot of money, but they made the most of what they did have.

I wore a strapless red dress which looked brilliant, but was totally impractical on the cold Perth-autumn night. Fortunately their step-mommy had a black jacket in boot of the car which looked great with the dress and kept me warm. Lee looked so sexy. He wore navy trousers, a dark blue shirt and had his ultra-curly hair straightened and slicked back: ala Joel Shepherd or, if you prefer, John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. I kept looking at him and thinking "Wow, I love you." It's lasted until today (Monday) but he has to wash it today. We're now thinking of lashing out and having it chemically straightened for the Big Holidays. It costs a fair amount, but if it lasts the three weeks we're away it'll be worth it.

Tri-lingual

Cassie spent the weekend trying to talk Lee and I into speaking pig-latin. This morning on the way to day care/school we had a big discussion about the true language of Pig-Rome. Apparently, there's been a split and the Pig-Romans have become two provinces. The north (or, as Lee and I termed them, the Orthodoxie) speak in the dialect of taking all letters up to the first vowel and shifting them the the back and adding the usual 'ay'. Eg:Through becomes Oughthray. Those from the South (the Reformists) take only the first core sound (eg st, sh, ch, th), move that to the back and add the 'ay'. Through, in this case becomes Roughthay. By the time we got to school, we'd all made up stories about this boy named Omeoray who'd come from a Northern family but had fallen in love with a Southerner named Ulietjay. It's a classic tale of ovelay, uicidesay and upiditystay.

Lee and I hail from the north. We realise that the Reformists are taking over. One day we're going to be herded up and sent to oncentrationcay ampsay, the Urembourgnay Awlay will be passed, forbidding mixed marriages. It will be very very adsay. Eventually, people from over the border will invade Pig-Rome and set us all eefray.

On that note I will bid you an
Ondfay Arewellfay.

Take care :)

2004-03-22T19:24:00.000+08:00

Soccer's about to start...

...so I'll keep this brief and to the point.

ASIM 11 is out and I'm now officially an editor in print. I'm so excited. I received my copy this morning and it's wonderful. It looks good and I'm feeling so proud of myself. I'm just holding it in my hands and feeling like a proud mummy all over again.

Dinner AND a show

Went to John and Calli's for dinner last night. I provided Canneloni and they provided their pool. Lee did the dishes. Pirates of the Caribbean provided part of the entertainment along with a delightful "Mahjong Western" of which name escapes me.

Will post more tomorrow. Soccer awaits.

2004-03-21T06:55:00.000+08:00

A Hard Night's Day

Lee's brother Scott is getting married next Saturday. Last night, Lee packed Erin up and trundled off to Scott's for a new-age Buck's Night - Pizza, Wrestling and looking after 3 babies. I met Amanda and a few of her friends at Han's in Carousel. Knowing that I'd be driving myself and Amanda home, I stuck to drinking one stoli (an avid bourbon drinker, it's nice to splash out on something different every now and then) at dinner and one cocktail at Yvonne's (Amanda's best friend) about two hours later. I can't tell you the name of the concoction because it contains bad-boy words but I can tell you that it has the word "Cowboy" in it :) Lee spent about five minutes trying to get me to tell him the name of the cocktail but I couldn't. I guess no matter how much you try to change your life, some things remain ingrained.
I went along, sure I'd be out of my depth, and armed with the excuse of my recent operation if it all became too much. It turned out to be a fantastic evening as we all took it as an excuse to become totally girly. I admit it. I'm a girly-girl. When you barely make 5 foot in your heals and have a size 3 shoe, there's two roads you can take. You can either 'cute it up' and be a girl, or go totally against the grain and become a tom-boy. I learnt early on to take the first option.
So there we were drinking (me on Solo by this time), chatting about babies, exes, current loves, trends in hair, our weight, weddings past and weddings future (see the two future Mrs Battersbys playing it up) and discussing what we're wearing on Amanda's big day.
Lee, I need money :)
Needless to say, Amanda and I walked through the door at 1 am.

A Hard Night's Day Part II

Mindful that he had to be up for Erin at 6am (I got up to her yesterday morning), Lee packed us off home straight away. Except that he isn't. Up, I mean. I had a terrible night's sleep. I had a panic attack at one stage and became too afraid to sleep in case I died. I have a theory on this which I'll share further on. Erin woke up twice, once for her dummy and the second time for her dummy and to have the fan turned on. She's the only child I know who has a 'comfort' fan.
So when she finally did wake up, I was already half-awake and got up to her.

Hence the rambling :)

Death

Death has been a strong component of Lee's and my relationship. I met most of his family at his mother's funeral and the rest of them at his step-father's.
Lee lost a lot of family members in the space of two years, including his wife Sharon and his mum and step-dad. As a result he is quite protective of me.
Recently he had a vivid dream involving a game of hide-and-seek, silver men, hiding me under a bed and in a cupboard, and kangaroos that first we kill off and then turn into our children (as in ours biologically, not the ones we have). My best-friend Sharon (see 'Coincidences' in the next section) has some brilliant dream books. Yesterday I rang her and asked her to look up the meaning of all these symbols. Basically it told us that after all the stress of losing his wife and then my having the operation, wanting to have a baby, my kids going over to live with their dad etc, Lee is trying to cope with his fear of losing me, especially as a result of child-birth.
Then last night at dinner Amanda shared her feelings about Sharon's death and how it affected her, Lee and the rest of the family. I tried to be positive and point out that Lee is happy now and has a promising future ahead of him with a woman who adores him. Amanda and I get along pretty well, but I feel that last night was the first time she learnt to like me for me and not just because I'm Lee's future wife.
Actually, and this is quite funny looking back, I spent the whole night talking about the big, hairy guy and at one stage stopped and said, "Wow, I sound obsessed, don't I?"
We have been accused of bordering on the co-dependent, but hey, it works for us :)

Coincidences

In this freaky world that I live in my absolute best-friend in the world is named Sharon. So was Lee's wife.
Both their initials were SB.
Lee's Sharon (for want of a better reference) has a mum named Lynn.
My Sharon has a mum named Yvonne. (My middle name)
They were born two weeks apart.
Sharon my friend has a daughter named Kirri-Lee and another named Cassie.
I have a fiance named Lee and a daughter named Cassie.

It may not seem that huge, but you try talking to your fiance's mother-in-law about your best friend Sharon :) Then extrapolate that situation when your child, who is actually the child of the deceased daughter of the mother-in-law, talks incessantly about "Aunty Sharon".

Scott and Amanda got engaged about the same time we did. They decided on a date a little later, we had ours picked before we actually got engaged. We got together with the family and announced our dates. They're getting married Saturday 27th March 2004 at 4:30 pm. Ours is Saturday 26th March 2005 at 4:30pm. It'll be weird going to the wedding on Saturday, knowing that a year from then, I'll be married again.

Well, I think that's about it for now. I hope your week was wonderful. We're at John and Callisto's tonight. We providing dinner, they're providing the pool. An evening to trade gossip on our respective trips while sipping Metheglin isn't the worst way to end a week.

Take care

Oh, my goals achieved:
Edited for Luke from the Word Thirst group.
Walked two days
Had two alccie free days
Didn't send out a story, but have two for next week.
Redrafted Civvie Street and received wonderful comments on it from the KSP SF
Didn't write 2000 words. Apart from the re-drafts, didn't even write 1 word. Managed to delete 109 from Civvie Street though :)
Critted one story for KSP SF.
Have read half of God's Callgirl (significantly more than two chapters and a possible reason for the lack of words written. At this stage my recovery still has to come first.)